I just lost my cat Rascal on Monday evening.  It was the last thing I expected when I came home from work.  It kills me because he was only 4.  He started to get sick at the beginning of this month because he had swallowed some string.  He wouldn't  eat or do anything.  So I took him to the vet for surgery to remove the string.  Everything went fine and he was recovering really well.  Then a week later he fell 8 stories off my balcony.  I still don't understand what happened because he has been on the balcony everyday for three years and I just didn't think it would ever happen.  I don't know if he lost his balance or if something scared him.  When I found him he was still alive.  I brought him back to the vet and they did some tests and gave him so meds.  I kept him wrapped up with a heating pad all night because he was in shock.  He made it through the night and I really thought he was going to pull through.  On Monday which was 5 days after the fall I came home from work and was giving him a sponge bath in the tub since he messed himself.  He had a seizure and then that was it.  I rushed him to the vet to see if there was anything they could do but he was gone.  I was so devastated and I feel like I should have known better than to leave my thread out or let him out on the balcony.  Rascal was my buddy and I never thought this day would come so soon.  I don't know if I'll ever accept the fact that he's gone.
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It's heartbreaking to read this. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 I too, blamed myself for my cat's death when we left the dog door open for him to go in and out while we were out of town- and he got hit and killed by a car only a few hours after we had left for the weekend. He hadn't even had a full meal and when we arrived home, that's how I knew something wasn't quite right- because he was gone and hadn't touched his food. I found out two days later from the neighbors that he had been killed in front of their house. He was only 3.

I know it is hard right now, and really hard to hear this, but the first thing you have to do is get over blaming yourself for his death. Had I locked the pet door, my cat may have lived longer-- but it probably would have eventually happened. Maybe on a night I was on my way home from hockey. I am glad that the last time I ever saw him, he was alive and whole and relaxing in the closet. I miss him everyday.

Do not blame yourself. Cherish the good memories and when you feel well enough, share them with us here. There is a ton of support here. A ton of understanding. Sift through a few of the threads - there is a great one about letting go of the guilt, if I can remember right.

Keep your chin up.

R.I.P. Spider 7-16-10

You were very loved and will always, always be missed.
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I'm sure Rascal knows how much you love him. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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I'm so sorry to hear about Rascal, and I understand your guilt.  Everytime I start feeling guilty again, I remember that all the events that compiled and snowballed to cause his death happened all the time individually-and no one, not even his very protective mama, could have forseen all those events coming together-as you could not have forseen Rascal eating the thread or falling.  I wish you peace and hugs in this tough time.
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You speak of Rascal with so much love.  I'm very sorry that you have been parted from your dear friend.  I know you can't accept this now, but you could not have forseen what happened.  My Tuffy was 5 yrs and passed on Jul 26, 2010.  I never thought we'd have to part so soon.  Even tho' I took him to the vet 3 times and spent every day and night with him for a week, unforeseen circumstances took him from my life.  I cursed my self daily for so many days.  I thought I should have done more, been more aware, something.  Slowly I've accepted there was no way I could have stopped what happened.

I did the best I could and so did you.  Unfortunately, our friends can't tell us how they feel or where it hurts.

They love us and forgive us.  I realized that my guilt was beginning to interfere with my remembering our times together.  I also found that by racking myself with sorrow wondering "If I had only", I was avoiding the grieving process we all must pass through.

Your heart is freshly broken.  You are still in shock from the sudden loss, so please be gentle with yourself.

Keep coming back.  We care.  We've all stood where you stand today.

Wishing you peace,
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal;
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Tuffy, My Puppy Love
June 20, 2005-July 26, 2010

Becky Leigh, Queen of my Heart
December 2010-November 10, 2015
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Thanks so much for the support.  I see I'm not the only one that has felt this way.  I'm sorry that you've lost your little friends too.
I'm really trying to move past the guilt.  It's so hard but I did start to feel better yesterday when I was going through his pictures.  I'm trying to remember him for how his was before he was sick.  All the funny memories.
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