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tilikum
Hello ladies, i do think its fate , and that the pets decide on who picks them , when they have a choice , and not horrible people just getting them fro horrible deeds , which i cant bare to think about , the day we got tilikum , was weird because , that morning our kettle broke and any other time we would do without and i would just order one from amazon for the next day , but i thought i would pop into town and just pick one up.  after getting the kettle , on our way back to the bus stop , we passed the pet shop , so i thought as i didn't have much to carry , i will pick up some bird seed , as i have feeders in both front and back garden , and bizarre    the seed are in front of the door , so really should have been in and out , but , i just wandered round the back aisle and there she was bottom shelf all by herself , the cages above her all had 2 or more but she was all alone , i crouched down , and she came to the front of the shocking small cage and went on her hind legs , so i put my fingers through the gap and she started  licking my fingers , i literally stood up , shouted for the man who worked there asked how much , he said £25 and i said when will i be able to take her , he said now , and laughed and said we don't vet people ,disgraceful attitude , i bought her a carry case , and walked along to the taxi rank , i did not know how she would react to a bus , came home took her out of the case , and bless her little socks she crawled along the floor with her ears drooped out in front , as if to say what's this nice material i am feeling , the carpet we have is really fluffy , and bless her the room she had to move for probably the first time in her life , must have been great for her , i locked our 2 house doors , opened all the interior doors and just let her explore , and she looked so happy , i think it was meant to be , i still get thoughts that what if i didn't go out that day , what if some weirdo got her , and , ohh i cant think about it , it was only days when the holes in the carpet began to appear , and for a small thing she left gaping holes all over , i have become quite good at hiding /moving furniture around to cover them all lol, but i would not change a thing , it made tilikum who she was , and im grateful for the time we did have xxxx
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September
That's a lovely story, Claire. Definitely Tilikum was meant to be yours. We didn't chose Timothy, he belonged to my son and his girlfriend but Chris had to work away for a while and his girlfriend sometimes had to work late hours. I would go round to bunny-sit if she was going to be late, but it got more and more often. Then they went on holiday for a week and we took Timothy and he never went back! The first time I saw him he was jumping around on the conservatory furniture, one lop ear sticking straight up. He was the funniest, cutest looking little bundle of fluff. But I fell in love with him. I wanted him from day one. I often used to think about Timothy's brothers and sisters and wonder what sort of life they had. I always said, I would rather he had 4 years of free-roaming happily, than 10 years in a pen.

Everyone used to say 'that rabbit is so spoiled'. And he was, he had the best of everything. If love and care could have dictated his lifespan, he would have lived until 100.

They came to us for a reason, Claire. I'm just so very, very sad we didn't have more time with them.

Xxx
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"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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Marie123
It's so true. The way I got Raven was so similar. And my little Roswell I've got now. Roswell was the last kitten in the box and it was a hot day, and I happened to get off work at 3 so I just happened to walk out there when the people giving away kittens were there. Oh, if hadn't taken her! She'd have haunted me forever. Now with Raven and Geronimo gone she's brought me so much joy. Tomorrow is Raven's birthday. I don't know if I'm going to be able to, but I'd like to share the story of how I got her on her thread. It's not going to be easy, but I'll try.
Tilikim and Timothy were so blessed to have such wonderful humans who understood what they needed. I wish all animals could have the lives they did, loved and so very deeply cared about
Blessings To you 🐱🐺🐰🐇
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tilikum
Lynda , i think about tilikums siblings all the time , because we got her at a early age , probably to early to have been taken from her mother , i really don't want to think of how the pet shop got her , and the poor mother grieving that all her kits were taken away from her , and if her siblings were sold to horrible people , xx
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tilikum
Marie when your ready to tell your story we are all here with/for you xxxx
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September
It would be a lovely birthday gift to Raven to share her story, Marie. And it might help you too.

Do you just have Roswell now? We only had Timothy living with us for just over 3 years, but it felt a lifetime and now the house is so empty. He came just before my youngest son left to move into his own home, and saved me from the 'empty nest' syndrome. I've always had someone here to look after and we always had a full house.....my two sons, and always their girlfriends. Now there's just me and my husband (and he can look after himself!), so it's such a strange situation. Timothy needed me, but I suppose I needed him more.

I look forward to reading more about Raven.

Xxxx
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"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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tilikum
i have had the most horrendous night , its exactly 3 weeks today , 8.36 am to be precise , my baby had to be put to sleep , i had a massive panic attack during the night , cannot stop feeling guilty at not been there , she was taken in the vet hospital on the Monday tea time , and i was on the phone every hour , but each time they said she is heavily sedated and there is no change , i could not sleep that night and rang at 5.30 am and the nurse said the vet would be doing her rounds between 8 and 10 am so just to hold on she will get in touch , when she rang at 8.30 am i knew in her voice before she said , that tilikum had rapidly deteriorated , and could i get to the hospital soon , i said yes but it will be over a hour , the hospital is in the next city to ours , so its a long journey , and she said we will try to get her to hang on , i said what do you mean , she said well she has started to suffer , i was hysterical , , sobbing as i type this , , ,, i asked her advice and she said personally i would not wait so i made the decision on the spot for them to euthanise her straight away , i put the phone down , and she rang back within minutes and said its done , it was barely 4 seconds she just sighed and that was it , she said she was a very sick bunny , and she was ready to go , but the guilt i feel is enormous , i blame myself for not going , although i would not want her in any sort of pain not even for a minute , but the thought of not being there is eating away at me , my head is spinning , if she was in pain would it have been  worth the risk just to be with her one last time , i am going to have to deal  with this for the rest of my life , just really struggling today , xxxx
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Marie123
Tilikim knows you love her. Just telling the vet to go ahead and set her free when you weren't there is proof of that. You put her needs first, and that's just a brave and wonderful thing all unto itself. I know what you mean, though. The guilt! All the ifs and maybes and should haves! In the end we just need to remember that our babies love us no matter what, just as they did in life, and understand that what we did was for them, and them alone, and accepting this pain is just another way we show our love.
Please don't beat yourself up. I know that's hard, as I still do. But our babies don't hold grudges, and will always love us.
Blessings and peace 🐱❤🐰
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tilikum
Marie , thank you sooo much for your reply , i just hope that in the next life she does not have to endure any more pain xxxx
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September
Claire, I can't tell you not to fret over Tilikums last hours...because I know exactly what you are going through. Timothy's last hours will haunt me until I go to meet him. I don't know, you see. I don't know what happened, but my imagination goes free fall if I let it. I humanized him in his last hours and that is the worse possible thing to do. 

In the days, weeks after we lost him, it was also the worst possible scenario in my head. He was in pain, he was looking for me, he was crying for me, he was alone and wondering where I was and why I left him. It compounded my grief one zillion fold. Because, you see, I let him die. The most beautiful creature that I loved with every bone in me. I went to work and let him die. I would never hurt the tiniest thing that crawled (even a spider, and I hate them), but I hurt the thing I love the most. I let him down and I hated myself for it. That's what has gone through my head, over and over. 

Today, it is not so raw, but it will never truly leave my thoughts and it has impacted me in a way I never thought possible. It jumps out at me when I least expect it. 

Take heart in that you had no choice in this. Tilikum was very sick. She was not with you, but she was not alone either. 

If we all had a choice in how our babies go over to the Bridge, how wonderful that would be. And it would be fair. But we don't, and it isn't. Like Marie says, Tilikum knows you love her. Trust me, she knows. Just like Timothy knows and sent me all the signs at the beginning because he knew I was hurting. They comforted me so much.

And Claire, the meltdown days will come and go. Horrible, but normal. I think I am due another soon!!

Thinking of you today.
Lynda
xx



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"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal"      C.S. Lewis
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Marie123
So true, Lynda. I had one this Sunday, as it would have been my girl's birthday. I think the 4 other cats knew because they wouldn't leave me all day.
And Claire, you're so very welcome! Sometimes like humans, the loss of an animal happens whether we're there or not. I came home 20 years ago on Valentine's Day to find my Mum dead on the kitchen floor. I feel guilty for having had a spat with her that morning, not having kissed her goodbye or given her her gift. But I know she loves me, just as all our babies still do. Sadly it's just the way life, and death, work. We just have to work around it, make our choices, and do the best we can.
Blessings to you from Marie and the crew 🐱🐺🐌🐊
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tilikum
Hello ladies , i know everyone deals with grief one way or another , its just sooo hard , but i am very grateful for forums like this where like minded people have suffered because of the loss of a pet ,so we all understand each other and know that all of us have been in terrible pain because of the loss of all our beloved pets , may we all see our pets when the time is right , thinking of you all xxxxxx
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