Maiaboo
I couldnt find a single story of a loved pet who was SO happy and enjoying life but his body was like a time bomb ready to blow. I hope if anyone is in the situation like me, you have such a happy friend but they are suffering on and off, this will help. The question of "how is his quality of life? Is he happy?" Made me keep you alive. He is so happy, but he is plagued with seizures and accident prone. This was and still is heart wrenching.
My Buddy.
You are the sweetest boy out there. You always want love and belly rubs. You love mac and cheese and corn husks. You love playing with your toys, chasing them and bringing them back to roll all over. You love doing your tricks for treats. My favorite is your prairie dog sit. 
You went bald like a little old man but kept a gnarly beard. You lived 13 years! That is so long! You lived a life full of rest, playfulness, and excitement.
You also lived a life plagued with seizures.
I remember your first few seizures when you were around 1 years old. We all thought you were getting electrocuted by the multi outlets on the floor. When they continued, usually weekly, we realized what was going on.
Treatments would be so expensive, and the side effects would be scary, kidney failure, extreme lethargy, and even sometimes it wouldn't reduce the seizures. After deciding to not do medications, we decided to just let you live. You are the HAPPIEST dog ever. Literally. Your little sausage tail wagging everytime you locked eyes with someone (or something), always playing, and too friendly for your own good (Worried you would befriend the daily visiting raccoon!). You loved meeting your knew kitten sibling when they were born, you wanted to cuddle with them forever! You would keep an eye on them whenever you could. You love galloping through the backyard like a gazelle in the Savannah.
You are so happy that no matter how violant the seizure was, once you came to, you acted like it NEVER happened. Wagging your tail again and wanting to play.
As time went on, you had scary moments that caused me to question, "it may be time?". But your quick recovery always made the answer, "no".
"He is only hurting for a few minutes, he is fine!" I would tell myself whenever the question of quality of life krept to the back of my mind. You would go seizure free for a month to having a seizure everyday for 2 weeks straight. It was always so unpredictable.
Fast forward 12 years, you begin to lose your hearing. You can hear me, but not well. You're still so happy. Your seizures arent as frequent but still exist. You now trip every once in awhile. Because of that, you hit your head on the floot sometimes, causing you to freeze up in pain and even induce a seizure. I move you into my new home at age 13 after being apart from you for 2.5 years (but still blessed to see you regularly during that time). You do well for the first week but suddenly i hear the awful sound of rattling, running to see your feet stiff, eyes rolled back, and fighting to breathe little body on the ground. I wrap you up for the 100th time to avoid you hitting your heard and calm you down. After another minute or so you regain consciousness, 15 minutes later you are up again and happy.
I decide to try CBD oil. No side effects other than making you sleepy if given too much. Fast forward a few weeks and it has helped little. At this point you have had a handful of seizures. You had a terrible seizure that lasts for minutes, and you sit there drooling and head wobbling for half an hour, never quite recovering. You have another seizure. This whole process lasts an hour and a half. You also jumped on the bed (which you NEVER do) and flew off of it when i shouted, "No, no!", causing you to hit your head on the hard floor.
The scariest whines and noises came out of your mouth. I cradled you, bawling, "im sorry", beginning to think you suffered a severe concussion and this was it. Seconds go by (feels like centuries) and you begin to go quiet. Your legs stiffen and your eyes roll back. You have a seizure for a minute or two. Regain consciousness, and then back to normal. Happy Buddy as if nothing happened.
A week later you have a small seizure again. Just a random one. Later i notice your eye is squinting and red. I take you to see the vet. You have an ulcer and I also find out you have heart murmur. My heart is breaking. We get you medicine for your eye. But over the next week more disasters keep happening where i finally decided it was time.
You're such a happy boy but your body was so broken. Almost like a bomb waiting to go off on itself any day now. But you are oblivious.
You were able to run no problem.
You were eating just fine.
You were still playing.
You loved your walks still.
You were so happy still. And thats what made this decision the hardest.
I realized that it was better for you to go happy and peacefully then to pass from a seizure, accidents, or in pain.
I have 2 days until i bring you in.
I dont sleep much.
I cry alot in fear of the "could be, would be, and the maybe".
"He could live 3 more years!" Id tell myself. But remembering that he could have 100s of seizures in those 3 years. That he could have a terrible accident and get hurt, that his heart murmur would get him and deteriorate him.
We take you to your original home on your last day in the backyard. You are just galloping in the beautiful sun for almost an hour straight. Eyes squinting, tongue out, tail up. Its so beautiful outside. You get lots of steak and macaroni all day and night. You didnt have 1 seizure your last days. You were so happy and seemed so healthy all of a sudden.

Morning comes.
I take you on your last walk. You pee on everything as usual. You literally have no idea nor would you ever comprehend. We load you up in the car. You eat steak the entire way there. We get there and walk you in. Im barely keeping my composure.
Seconds.
It happens in seconds.
One vet is holding you still, your eyes looking at me. The other vet tries but misses your vein. You begin to whine for a few seconds then stop. We try your other arm.
Seconds.
Your eyes gloss over as she slowly lowers you, putting your head in my hand. Within 10 seconds, you're gone.
You lie there motionless, head in my hand, eyes barely open. I realize you are not going to get back up. I hug you and bawl to the point of hyperventilating.
My Buddy.
My Buddy is gone.
I go to the car to wail and scream. Kenny is inside getting you ready to take home for burial.
The ride home felt like centuries.
We bury you in the backyard with all the other pets before you.
I come home feeling so empty. Drained. Heavy.
I can and never will get that image of your eyes glossing over, quietly letting go. The feeling of your head resting in my palm.
I love you Buddy. I miss you. Im mourning for you. I know that you are now healthy, you have all your fur back, and you are with all the other pets before you. And of course, happy. You lived a long, loving, yet hard life. Through all the 100s maybe even 1000s of scary moments, you were so so happy. In this sense, you're a rolemodel for us. Even though my heart is in pieces and my mind isn't at rest, i would do it all over again with you. 13 years of friendship is worth the pain in the end.
One day we will see you again soon.
I love you, Buddy.



Quote 2 0
Mistysmama
Oh, your sweet little Buddy. Your story of him was so moving it made tears come to my eyes.

You hung on with him, because he loved life. You are both heroes.
God bless his beautiful Soul. He will always love you.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
Quote 1 0
pannklaus
The story of your sweet, happy Buddy brought tears to my eyes too.  I don't know how a dog experiences seizures.  I have had several in my life brought on by high fevers.  During the seizure I experienced a sense of well being and didn't want to come out of the pleasant state that I was in.  Maybe Buddy experienced the same kind of feelings.  I hope so. 

I know how terribly hard that moment is when we release our precious babies because it is time.  And then comes all the grief, sadness, emptiness and all the rest.  But Buddy had a HAPPY life and that leaves behind many wonderful memories.  May we all be reunited someday with our precious babies at the Rainbow Bridge.
Patsy
Quote 0 0
Lrogers424
Maia,

Your story of Buddy has brought me to tears.  Close to our story of my happy, sweet Daisy.  We lost her in July 2018 to a sudden and devastating tumor.  She never let on that she was in any pain and was so happy until the end.  Oh, that last walk...I can still feel her leash in my hand.  Though, unlike your Buddy, we prayed for her to pee.  (Her tumor was in her urethra)  I also held her as she passed.  I whispered into her soft gray ears all the wonderful adventures we had over the years together as she quietly passed.  I love her so much and miss her still.  Even though we have welcomed a new little dog into our lives who we love dearly, Daisy will be always loved and always missed.

The heartbreaking loss is the price we pay for such unconditional love and all the years of happiness we share with our companions.  I imagine all our beloved companions happy and healthy now.  I also hope to someday see my girl again, but for now, I hope she is happily romping with her new "Buddy".


Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
Quote 0 0