meganw
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the loss of my dogs. When my springer spaniel Lizzie was 10 we decided to get another springer we called Oliver. He was my baby and was such a loving cuddly dog who loved his doggy sister. Oliver and Lizzie were always laying together and so excited to see eachother every time they were separated. Oliver was the most loving dog 99% of the time but every now and again he'd randomly get aggressive and try to attack someone. There seemed to be no reason or trigger for the aggression so we consulted our vet and dog trainer who said it's probably springer rage which is like a neurological condition. It was almost like olivers aggression was a little seizure because 5 minutes after he tried to attack us he'd be licking us and wanting to cuddle. One day Oliver attacked Lizzie, worse then we'd ever seen, he went for her neck and almost bit her jugular. We rushed her to the emergency vet and they said if my dad hadn't gotten Oliver off of her he would have killed her. We all noticed the aggression getting worse and this time we couldn't ignore it. My parents tried to find a sanctuary for him but no one would take him they were scared next time it would be us he would almost kill. We had to put him down, Oliver died in my arms and it was the worst day of my life. I understand why we had to put him down and that we didn't have a choice but I still feel a lot of guilt. I feel like he had so many more good memories to make and it's not fair because he was only bad very rarely. About 3 months after Oliver died Lizzie got really sick. She stopped eating and lost a lot of weight, we could tell she was in pain. We put Lizzie down soon after her diagnosis of cancer. Although I really miss Lizzie I've dealt with her passing well because I could tell she was in pain and she lived a good 12 years. Oliver was only 3 when he died and I still cry about his passing whenever I think of him. I miss him so much and I just want to feel better.
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shantismom
Megan,  I am so sorry for the pain you are in.  The loss of both your babies is so difficult.  For your Oliver you did the right thing, Oliver wanted to be a sweet cuddly dog but something was wrong that he couldn't control. I would be frightened of what could happen as he was getting worse.  I will tell you this, that everyone here feels a certain amount of guilt, everyone.  We wonder if we could have done more, if we gave up too soon or didn't act soon enough to spare our babies from suffering.  No matter what the circumstances there is guilt.  Give yourself some time, it will help you heal.  Also think if perhaps there is a dog out there somewhere who could use a loving home.  A new baby will help fill the void and heal your heart.  I will keep you in my prayers.
Marlene Wagner
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meganw
Thank you for your response. It helps to hear other people say it was the right thing to do and I know it was I just miss him so much. Thank you again you don't know how much that helped me.
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Mistysmama
meganw, your post made me cry. I am so sorry about Oliver and what happened, and about Lizzie also.

You know what I feel? That it was a physical problem with Oliver, not a problem with his character or Soul, but it wasn't anything the vets could medicate him for. It was a genetic physical error. That is the sense I just got.
And now he is out of his physical form, he is his true self. Lizzie has gone to be with him. It seems she loved him so much and needed to be where he was.

This must hurt so much. I know you did do the right thing. You had no other choice. Oliver will be okay about that. His body was letting him down in this world, and he needed to go home.
Believe me please, my own dog showed me how much love and joy there is where they go.

My kindest thoughts. Your heart must be breaking to lose them both but they still love you very much. Send them your love and tell them how proud you are of them. They will be watching over you until you also pass over one day.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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heartsick

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet precious babies..

The beginning raw searing pain of new grief is just awful.

They take a piece of us when they go,

But they leave a piece of them with us also.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

Please come back and tell us more about your life with your beautiful babies so we can get to know them  better through you. You can post pictures also.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

If you read the beginning of any one of our threads you will see yourself. I, literally, walked in circles wringing my hands. My chest constantly hurt as I was unknowingly holding my breath.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                       

Susan(heartsick)

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wildflowers
Dear Megan,

Your post really touches me. First, i'd like to say thank you for doing the right thing for your Oliver. I know how much it hurts, and i know you're feeling guilty but maybe my story will help a little.

My sweet chihuahua Little was attacked by a dog 30 times her size and she died pretty quickly. It was by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me. It is the worst pain i've ever felt, and ill never forget the way she looked after the attack. My neighbors who own the dog didn't care at all, that dog is still running lose and it boils my blood to see him every day.

Do you see why you did the right thing? Some dogs can be the sweetest dogs in the world and turn on anything in a matter of seconds just because they want to. You can't tell a dog it's not nice to kill, they don't know what you're saying. Once they have that mind set nothing will stop them.

We have had two dogs in the past we've had to put down due to that killing instinct. I know it hurts, i feel your pain. There comes a time when we have to do the right thing and i can't thank you enough for doing that. I'm so so sorry it had to end like that for your baby. When you start feeling guilty i want you to remember my story and i want you to know if you were my neighbor, my dog would still be alive today because of you (this is our third animal that dog has attacked), and i so wish that were the case.

All wounds take time to heal. Thank you again for being so brave and doing the right thing for your Oliver. One day you'll meet again and he will be the sweetest boy he once was, along with sweet Lizzie. Praying for you. -Ashley
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wjson
Only able to read first paragraph about your aggressive dog. If you haven't put Dog down have you tried "Prozac"?? It' resolved agression w/boyfriends dog. His dog attacked us several times.
wendy 
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Butterfly_Kiss
Megan, 

So incredibly sorry for your losses. So heartbreaking :'( It sounds like you did what was necessary, and although drugs can help some animals with psychological issues, it is rare.

Wildflowers, I think that was good of you to post your story here to offer that perspective. Makes a lot of sense. I am so very sorry for your loss as well. 

I hope you are both holding up okay
<3
KG

~Our Love is eternal & 'death' cannot sever the bond we created. The spirit never dies. The Love, bond, & spirit are ours to cherish always. That is a gift that will never be taken away~
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GEMini3216
I understand how you feel and deeply sympathize.

I had to put down my usually very very sweet puggle Echo last week. There hasn't been a day that I haven't sobbed about this. He was almost 2 years old but his aggression was becoming a very serious and dangerous problem. When we got the sweet little guy, he showed aggression right off the bat but we thought it was a puppy thing and hoped it would be better once he got neutered at 6 months. After many puppy classes and intense socialization, his aggression, especially toward family members did not go away.

We then hired a professional trainer and the aggression did get better, but it did not go away completely. When we moved, things all fell apart. Echo could not get a grip once we moved and became extremely aggressive, lunging, growling, and showing teeth if someone even walked by. He bit me, my boyfriend, and my mom multiple times- broke the skin and left severe bruising. He is only 15 pounds so we thought we could manage this with further training and behavior correction, which we seriously undertook.

I discussed his behavior with the vet and she prescribed Prozac which did not help. One night recently, while Echo was in his pen (thankfully he was not loose), my boyfriend stood up to get a glass of water and was 5-10 feet away from Echo and he was showing teeth, lunging, and aggressively barking. We knew that this aggression was not even close to being provoked and we became fearful to walk past him or be around him at all. He had never before shown this sort of aggression out of the blue. My heart is absolutely broken. I have never been so devastated because I love him so much but it's clear to me that he could potentially badly harm someone and was obviously suffering from extreme fear. 

I will miss him forever and no other dog will take his place but I do think I did the right thing for everyone involved, including the sweet little guy.
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Lillymylove
I hate the term him or her down just saying.
David 
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1967Pinecone
Sometimes you have no other choice. If one of my dogs killed another dog, or one of my cats, I would do the same.

I almost had my pit mix Sally euthanized about 5 years ago for the same reason. She had attacked my Jack Russell, Henry, 3 times. The first time, I had finished a mug of hot chocolate and Henry jumped up on my desk and licked the cup. Sally came over to see what he was doing, he growled at her, and she grabbed him. I thought well, OK, the solution is to just keep all food put up. But, as we all know, we can't control everything. The second time, one of the cats got into a kitchen cabinet and knocked down a jar of peanut butter. Henry found it, brought it under the bed, she came over once again to check it out, he growled and she attacked him. The third time it was over an empty bowl on the front porch. The last time - and it was absolutely going to be the last time - I was walking all three dogs after work in the front yard, and my neighbor's dog ran across the road and started barking. Henry barked back, because he just wanted to play, and Sally attacked him. This time, it was bad. I could not get them separated. I was down on the ground, Henry was screaming, Sally wouldn't release. Suddenly she just stopped. I picked Henry up to bring him inside and she jumped up and tore him from my arms. Once again she wouldn't release, even after I broke a ceramic planter over her head, but again she suddenly just stopped.

The next day, I called my vet to find out how much it would cost to euthanize her. But I couldn't do it. My house had been burglarized a few months before, and for two weeks Sally never ever left my side. She had picked up on my fear and apprehension. So how could I do this? My only solution was separating them, permanently. Until the day Henry died about 2 years ago, I made sure those dogs never saw each other again. She is ten now and much calmer, but I'll never trust her fully again around smaller animals. I couldn't adopt her out, I couldn't give her away on Craigslist - what if she hurt someone else's pet, or what if a dog fighter took her? I'm lucky enough to have a heated and air conditioned garage and she has to stay there when I'm not home.

"Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow" and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." Khalil Gibran
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