today may have been one of hardest days I've dealt in such a long time. Our family's 15 yr old beagle had to be down and it was very sudden. Just a couple of days ago I was playing with her and my daughter, less than 24 hours later she got a fever. Met with a vet and got some meds, but nothing worked. She was very weak and tired, so I figured this may be it. She was in constant pain and I stayed up with her the next night to make sure she knew I was there for her. She started going quickly downhill and we had to make the call.  During the entire overnight care, day of planning the euthanasia, and after everything was done... I cried so much, but the hardest part was talking to my 4 year old about everything when it was done.  Even writing this I'm still very depressed and I know I'm going to break down again.  I can't stop thinking about my poor dog and how much she meant to me and my family.  All I want to do is just hold her one more time. I love my dog Clover and I hope she's in a better place.
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So so sorry for your loss. i lost my lab on Friday. He was part of our family for almost 14 years. Yes the pain is unbearable. I'm 50 years old and I wake up in the middle of the night crying. I knew for years the day would come someday. I just wasn't ready yet. I dont even know how to deal with this pain. I am teary eyed all day long. No one should have to go through this devastating loss and excruciating pain.
I wish I could give you advice to help with your pain but I am lost myself. 

God bless us all.
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I am so sorry for both of your losses. We had to euthanize our sweet Emma on Sunday. She was almost 15 and had been by my side for every major adult milestone in my life. I can't imagine life without her. The emptiness and the pain is eating me alive. I don't think there's ever a way to prepare yourself for this. You can tell yourself you know it's going to happen one day, and even as they age and you know that day is drawing closer, nothing can prepare you for having to actually go through with it, to actually feel that depth of sadness and pain and one can adequately prepare for that. Someone told me recently that we grieve directly in proportion to the amount that we loved, and I think that's true. People grieve in different ways, but it's still grief. It's still hard. I wish you both peace and I hope things get easier for you as time goes on. I'm certainly hoping the same for myself. 
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