Trudijane
I've had 3 generations of cats.  My first cat, Cazzie, died when he was 17 yo and he died at home peacefully with me.

My 2nd generation of cats Whisky & Codi both died at 13 yo within a week of each other. Whiskey of Cancer which I was treating with chemotherapy and Codi of unexpected liver disease.

I currently had 2 wonderful cats. Coony, my belove Maine Coon and Montana, a ragdoll.  Coony was a very special cat.  He was beautiful, big, gentle, smart, and we had this special bond.  I looked forward to coming home and being with my cats each & very day, particularly Coony.  I could not pass Coony without hugging him and I did everything to make his life happy.  I knew he was and there was this mutual love that everyone saw; and everyone loved him because he was so friendly.  I can't say enough about Coony.


I started noticing changes in his behavior/eating habits over a 2-day period.  So I watched him closely.  I decided to schedule him to see a vet on Monday.  Then I saw something different.  I saw his chest area moving by itself, in & out and it scared me.  So I brought him to the ER. It turned out that he was already in critical condition when I got there.  He had fluid on his lungs for an unknown reason and they gave him oxygen.  I had to leave him there overnight for more tests which was the FIRST time over 9 years that we ever have been away from each other.  I was scared but still had hope because when they removed the fluid from his lungs, he was doing much better. I was so glad to hear that .... but the vet called in the middle of the night to tell me that Coony got worse again and would need more tests to determine what was going on.  I approved the tests they needed to do just to at least get a diagnosis and hoping it was treatable. The tests shows multiple growths on his lung and heart, plus was bleeding a little inside. They said they had never seen a presentation like this and still didn't really know what it was. Probably cancer but whatever it was, it may not be treatable and if it was, it would probably not buy him that much time and they wanted my approval to go on with more tests.  I couldn't decide at first; all I could think of is I can't lose him; but based on what they told me, he did not have much hope.  If there was just a little hope I would have proceeded to save my baby's life.  I took a few tranquilizers that night with a big sip of vodka because my body felt like it was going to explode or something. It was too much for me to even try to think.

The next day, a friend drove me the ER to talk to the vets one more time.  Coony was still in the oxygen tank, but I knew the decision I had to make. First, I wanted to take him home to spend as much time as I could with him; then I made an appointment for a vet to come over my house the next day and let my baby go. The day went on-I spent every moment with him. I watched him as he got worse.  He lay down in the corner of the bathroom (and so did I) and for the first time in his life, my Coony urinated on the bathroom floor.  I could see he was in great distress and I just couldn't stand to see him this way.  That, I think, was the worst part. I was losing him and I moved up the vet's appointment within the hour.  As I held my baby on my bed, he went to sleep and then slipped away.  I don't remember sobbing so intensely and gutterally as I did at that moment. It was the most painful moment in my life.  I really just wanted to go with him as I didn't know how I would go on without him. He was the most beautiful, special cat in the world to me. 

It's a week later now and I've been sleeping a lot, escaping a lot, crying a lot and being in a total trance when I have to do something.  I've talked to just a few people who I know would understand what I'm feeling just a little. I feel lost and just too sad for words.  I expect him to come through the cat door and look up at the sky each night calling his name.  I'm trying to survive this ... trying because I do have another cat - a Ragdoll, same age as Coony who needs me.  I'm sure in his cat way he has to miss Coony too.  We don't have the same sort of bond, but I'm trying to reach out to him more.

Thank you for listening.  I'm the saddest person in the world right now.
Trudijane








TrudiJaneNeiverth
Quote 0 0
SonnysMomma
I am so sorry for your loss.  ((Hugs))
Sonnys Momma Furever
Quote 0 0
Ana
I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about the loss of your cat. I can tell how much you loved him. I know how hard it is to wake up every morning and feel the pain that the your baby isn't there to great you. I lost my Boston Leo 6 days ago and it still hurts to much to go on. I don't know how I am ever going to survive his loss every thing just feels empty. I just want you to know that you will be in my heart and my prayers during this awful time. ~ Larchana
Larchana Behrends
Quote 0 0
Trudijane
Larchana...

So your loss is the same amount of time ago as mine. It sounds like you are feeling as I do. Empty, lost, so many questions about how unfair life can be too much of the time. I didn't ask for much. I only hoped for many more years with Coony. Loving him was wonderful. Him loving me back unconditionally was all that I felt I really needed to be hapopy.

Im sorry about Leo. Please feel free to tell me about him and thank you.
Trudi
TrudiJaneNeiverth
Quote 0 0
CB
Dear Trudy,

Coony sounds like a wonderful little love. I wish you had those extra years you had hoped for and it is so unfair it wasn't to be. It sounds as if you reacted so quickly to the changes you noticed. I am sorry that even by doing all to have him seen that ultimately you lost your beautiful friend. Your mutual love, the unconditional love, the bond, all of it is still there. Now it is just different but be assured it will never diminish. That kind of love never does. I wish you peace and am so sorry.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
Quote 0 0
Trudijane
I would love to send a picture or 2 to show you how beautiful Coony was.  Coony.jpg   
TrudiJaneNeiverth
Quote 0 0
Bubbles322
Beautiful cat and nice picture. Hang in there, it will get slowly Better with time. What you are feeling is valid and it's okay to cry and feel grief.

I came across this forum because I will be putting down my cat tomorrow and I'm glad to hear I'm not alone.
Quote 0 0
Trudijane
Bubbles,
Why don't you tell us about your cat when you're ready.  I'd like to know.

It's so hard and I hope you have a bit of an easier time than I am now ....

You take care & thanks.
TrudiJaneNeiverth
Quote 0 0
Boorings
Hi Bubbles. My cat was hit by a car yesterday and died. It was so horrible and still is today.
I hope it goes well for you, it is very hard for me at the moment but this forum helps a lot.
Stuart
Quote 0 0
Trudijane
Stuart, my heart goes out to you.
TrudiJaneNeiverth
Quote 0 0
brile99
I can relate to everyone here. My beloved cat, Eddie, passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly this past Monday. I came home from work and we went about our usual routine, I fed him and cleaned up around the apartment. Eddie was totally fine and ran up to greet me at the door as he usually does. Within 20 minutes of me being home, Eddie let out a loud howl, laid on his side and passed about a minute later. I have never felt so panicked and helpless in my life. 

I had Eddie since I was in high school and he was about 15 years old, but he was in perfect health. The vets were shocked when I brought him in because they always knew him to be in excellent health. From what I told the vets they figured he passed from a stroke or aneurysm. The shock is now starting to wear off, but I'm just so sad. I'm fortunate to have my two other cats at home but there is an emptiness in our home that only Eddie could've filled. I'm trying to stay thankful for the fact that I was at home with him when it happened and that I was by his side as he passed, but the grief and guilt has been consuming. I've been trying to keep busy at work but as soon as I have a moment to think, I think only of him and how terribly I miss him. It's a beautiful, sunny day here today but it has felt so dark since he's been gone...

Brianne
Quote 0 0
Trudijane
I guess it doesn't matter how old WE are when we lose these beautiful souls. This is a 3rd generation of cats that I've lost. I used to think that my first cat, Cazzie, who lived to be 17 yo (as an indoor/outdoor cat) would destroy me. It did for awhile. I did not think I'd ever get over it. But lots of time and other cats (never a replacement) happens over time and the pain fades. What I have left of Cazzie is his ashes and a photo album of him with 100s of pictures and heart-felt words from those around me that are still heartwarming to read. Like you, Eddie, I went through a lot of my younger life with Caz.

All I wanted for Coony wa that he live to a nice old age. He had just turned 9 so I figured I'd have at least 5-6 more years with him. I was about to get insurance for both of my cats when this happened since I wanted them to have physicals each year. The vet asked me has Coony ever been very sick before? I was confused why she asked me this because Coony has never been sick a day in his life, except for teary eye ducts. What they found indicates that he might have been but no exam told me anything of the sort. Multiple growths on his heart & lungs? He never showed any indication that he didn't feel well. In fact,at 9, he was very kittenish and liked to take walks with me on his little harness. He was the charm of the neighborhood I lived in. To say I adored him is an understatement. He was everything to me. I'd rather stay home with him than go out. Of course I did, but always looked forward to seeing him whhen I came home. Now there is this huge hole in my heart and emptiness in my house. Yes, my other cat is there, and I'm giving him all I can but he's not Coony.

We never really know when anyone is going to die whether suddenly or after a long sickness. I just want to share one more story. I am a cat-sitter in my community for over 10 years. I was watching 2 young 3 yo adorable cats one time. I came in one day to see one of the cats lying on its side and my gut told me this wasn't a good thing. I approached him slowly and he was gone. The other cat kept walking around him, puzzled. I had to call the cats owners who came back from out of town. Nobody ever knew what caused him to die like this, but it was something I'll never forget. I don't know who cried more....the owners or myself. We consoled each other.

Eddie, you have nothing to feel guilty about. And, I thought it was good at least that Eddie waited for you to come home before he was ready to go. He got to spend his last moments with you.

Life is very cruel and unfair sometimes. I'm still in a trance and sleeping a lot because I'm in so much pain.
TrudiJaneNeiverth
Quote 0 0
CB
Trudi

Thank you for sharing the picture of Coony. What a very beautiful cat he was. I hope you can enjoy happy memories of him over time.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
Quote 0 0