Heavenisreal
Anybody on here put to sleep a very young cat? If so please reach out to me.  I need help and support.  Found that putting to sleep a very young cat is a whole new level of grief.  As hard as it was to put to sleep my 15 year old thos is thousand times worse.
ER vets as well as Internal medicine vet failed to pick up on the problem in my 15 month old kitten.  They said xrays, ultrasound,  blood tests look good.  Sent me home with Batril and said he will be fine.  Then week later he had difficulty breathing again, his BP was so low that ER vet couldn't even measure it, PULSE dropped to a 60, Temperature dropped to 95.5, pulses were weak and he couldn't even stand on his feet.  ER vet said that he is loosing the battle.  She said his stomach feels hard and big.  That's the reason why I brought him in 3 weeks prior !!! They said xrays of abdomen didn't show anything.  I have an incredibly hard time processing what happened.  My Ariel went from fine except fever 0f 104.7 to dying within a week.  I should have brought him into another hospital.  They would have saved him.  
Ariel also been forcefed for the last 11 months since he didn't eat enough on his own, he had constant eye discharge and muscle tremors.   All blood tests and xrays always came back normal.  Please help!!!!

Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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BritishBlue
@Heavenisreal My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate with you with regards to being let down by the vets. 
Whenever I took my baby Milo for check ups it was always a new vet and always the same "he looks OK keep monitoring him" 

The surgery had an influx of newly qualified vets on placements which I was never happy about. Like you I wish I'd taken him to a different surgery but it would of meant driving further away and Milo hated being in his carrier. Looking back I should of just taken him elsewhere and that guilt will be hard to overcome for me.

Sorry its not the best advice, just know you are not alone. Take care
Lloyd
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Heavenisreal
So sorry for your loss also.  Ariel has been to many hospitals,  saw many veterinarians, xrays, blood tests, urinalysis,  abdominal ultrasound a week before his passing didn't show anything according to an internal medicine vet.  Although I found out (too late) that he had gas there.  If he told me that I would have insisted on exploratory surgery.  But believed the vet and kept giving him antibiotic which seemed to help but the underlying issue was there.  I don't think he swallowed anything.  It must have been something he struggled with for a long time.  He had muscle tremors forv11 months, hasn't been eating being forcefed for 11 months, had constant pussy discharge from his eyes for 11 months.  
He was loosing weight rapidly even though I forced him at least 14 oz of raw every day.  His face looked like a dry pear in comparison to his brother.  Being a full blooded, papered Maine Coon his fur never developed a Maine,  was short.
He was very funny, curious, more playful than his brother, more affectionate and more feisty.  Loved him so much.  Always knew that something was off with him.  Never suspected that he is deadly I'll.  Never!!! His sudden collapse was totally shocking, unexpected and life ending for me.  I don't know how to move on from this.  I wake up with anxiety balling my eyes out, screaming feel like I can't breathe!!! How do I get passed this.  I can't function.  Can't eat, don't have energy to shower, do dishes...or take care of his brother who also has health issues.  
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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Tawnismom
I'm so sad for your loss. I feel a lot of anger. I had money for whatever my dog needed but I didn't go to get school. I'm not the one w the dr.in front of my name.
Lynnie
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Heavenisreal
Lynne I had insurance for him that would have paid 90% of everything.   I could have afforded surgery, ICU stay ...whatever neccessary.   
I am angry because the ER doctor 3 weeks prior ran blood tests, chest and abdominal xrays and said that all looks good except for fever of 104.7
Week later I brought him to an internal medicine doctor and he checked him with ultrasound and said that he looks really good and that he act6is ready for neuter surgery any time.  Few days later he started literally dying and an ER vet said that it is something in his stomach and that he is loosing the battle.  His little body was crashing.  I couldn't stand the thought of him going through more suffering and pain and opted to just let him go.  Now regretting my decision.   Even if there was a 1% chance he would have pulled through I should have faught for him.  I haven't had any life with him.  I only had him for 1 year.  He was sick for a whole year.   Been to many doctors who collected thousands of dollars on diagnostics and no doctor was able to tell me why he is trembling, why he has constant discharge from his eyes and why he hardly eats anything.  I am mostly angry at myself for not requesting a CT scan or an MRI of his stomach.  Despite of what the vets told me I knew something was wrong with his abdomen.   My friend says that a lot more was wrong with him than doctors could help with and God took him.  I will have him soon for eternity when I go home.  Wasn't meant to be here on earth.

Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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Elliotts_Mom
Yes, Violetta. My Elliott was just shy of 5 months old, and 2 weeks ago he was perfectly healthy. I have had 2 weeks worth of medical intervention, home treatment, and extended hospitalization. We did EVERYTHING we could think of, but I guess not soon enough. FIP is such an aggressive disease and it sneaks up on a young kitten so fast. I have played it all back in my mind a million times. Who said what, how they said it, why they weren't more caring, more knowledgable, more helpful, why I made this choice or that choice. In the end, it's easy to see how things might have been different if I knew then what I know now. But I am not psychic, and neither are you. And no matter how many coulda shoulda wouldas we spin around and around in our head... the struggle has ended. We lost the fight. Our baby is in heaven. I keep trying to tell myself to STOP every time my mind starts that cycle of "what ifs" and put a rubber stamp on it that says, "We gave it our ALL." We fought like champions, myself, my fiance, and sweet little Elliott. It was a battle that couldn't be won. Hugs and prayers to you that you can find peace. The best healer is time. 
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Heavenisreal
Elliots_mom  you're right.  My mind won't stop though.  My Ariel didn't have FIP.  He had something that burst and bled in his stomach.  Brought him in on time but the vets assured me that xrays and blood tests look good.  Just sent me home with an antibiotic that helped his respiratory issues but did not fix his stomach.  The ER doctors,  internal medicine doctor f×××ed up and I did too for trusting them.  Then few days later he started crashing.  I should have tried to save him still even with poor prognosis.   Instead I let him go and now I can't pick myself up.  
His brother and I are so depressed.   I can't move on.
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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Elliotts_Mom
I'm so very sorry, Violetta. Please find it in your heart to forgive yourself. You did nothing wrong. Of course you trusted the doctor! What else could you do? You tried to get Ariel the best professional help. You could not have foreseen the tragedy that would happen. A million hugs, my friend. Ariel knows how you loved her and that you did your best!!!
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Heavenisreal
Thank you Elliot's mom.  I could have done a lot more.  I could have him with me today if I brought him into another hospital and requested CT scan or an MRI of his abdomen.  
The fact that he was lathargic, didn't climb his condo, didn't follow me to bed the night prior were all telling signs.  I was stupid to believe doctors based on xrays that his abdomen is not in trouble.
His stomach was large and hard.  It wasn't just an infection.  I don't believe he swallowed anything.  With obstruction he couldn't have lived for weeks ... it may have been an abscess that burst inside, or intussusception of intestines...
I had insurance for him.  Could have borrowed money from family and pay them back.
I really have no idea how I will ever be somewhat normal.  
If God was gracious enough to give me a vision of him having fun in heaven I would feel better but I doubt I will get that.  Since he can't be with me here all I want is to go where he is asap.
I have no reason to wake up anymore. 
His brother is sick too.  
He isn't eating, drinking , trembling...
Even though spent thousands even recently trying to figure out what his problem is I got very few answers.
Ariel is gone.  His brother Christian is not doing well either.
I just want to die
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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Elliotts_Mom
Dear Violetta,

I know the feeling, believe me I do. But please, if you really are thinking of killing yourself call a mental health hotline or even 911 for help. I know you have much to live for, so don't let these circumstances cause you to make a decision that can't be undone. Christian needs your help. If the vet where you took Ariel failed you, take Christian to a different one. If he has fluid in his abdomen, it could be FIP. If so, you would need to act quickly to get help for it. Most vets will say there is no treatment, but there is. In any case, please don't lose hope!
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Heavenisreal
There's no way I will call 911.  Not gonna kill myself.  Just wish I could die.  
Christian is seeing another doctor already.  It is unfair to Ariel that he didn't get better medical help. that's what's causing me so much trauma
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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Elliotts_Mom
I'm so glad to hear you are not having suicidal thoughts. I know the hopelessness this kind of grief can bring, so I took your words very seriously. I hope Christian is feeling better soon and can be a comfort for you.
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Heavenisreal
If I wasn't fearing God's judgment I would kill myself.  I'm a Christian though so can't do that.  
Christian is not eating, drinking, has muscle tremors.   His illnesses are chronic.  Ariel was the healthier one of the two.  He appeared to be.  I have to constantly care for Christian.   Really have no energy to do that nowadays. 
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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Gracie4ever
I am so sorry for the hopelessness you are feeling, Violetta. Is it possible to find something for anxiety, for Christian? Maybe at a pet store? Can you take some natural supplements for anxiety, or perhaps get some grief counseling or trauma counseling? Or find a local support group for pet loss? There are some support groups that are meeting online now, because of pandemic. So they wouldn't even have to be in your area. Someone mentioned to me, breathing techniques or tapping, I have yet to try it, but I think I should. My heart is with you, dear.
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Heavenisreal
Gracie4ever THANK YOU ♥️ My heart is with you too ♥️
My mom bought me herbal supplements for anxiety pills so I started on those.  Today took a double dose.  Also drinking Melissa which is herbal tea that has calming properties.   It helps a little bit.  Christian is on CBD oil.  He is visibly depressed.   He still walks around crying looking for his brother.  This is so heart wrenching not only for me but also for him.  
I am so irrational.   Can't accept my new horrible reality.  I really regret not going to extreme measures to save Ariel.  He hasn't ever been healthy.  I forcefed him for 11 months.   Had muscle tremors.  His eyes as always looked like he is crying.  So much so that he had fur coming off of under his eyes.  He also had slits on his lower eye lids.  When he started crashing that was also a deciding factor.  Besides what may have happened to his internal gi tract he had other chronic diseases that multiple doctors who have examined him were unable to diagnose and help.  Today I would try and save him and t as Ken him to a new hospital that has hyperbarric ozone chamber.  It helped his brother a lot.  
I am a Christian and I knew that once he left his body he was going to live at home that Jesus prepared for me and that he would be healthy, happy and very well taken care of.  I know that all animals go to heaven.  
There are many Christians who experienced nde and saw their and others pets in heaven.  Check out Dean Braxton.  He was pronounced dead by critical care unit for an hour and forty five minutes.  In that time he visited heaven and tsks about his experiences on his website and youtube.  His two dogs came to greet him.  That helps me but I just wish I could have enjoyed my boy here on earth for longer.  
I will join online support group and also talk to councellors on the phone.
My heart will hurt for a long time.  I have to keep reminding myself of all the things I did do for Ariel not just the day that I may have done more but failed.  The ER vet said that HE IS LOOSING THE BATTLE and that we may find out what is wrong with him and decide to euthonize anyway.  With blood pressure too low to measure, temperature of 95.5, Pulse of only 90, paws cold, mouth getting stiff already his chances weren't high.  
The ER vet wasn't optimistic at all.  She said that she would not suggest euthonasia if it wasn't appropriate in his case.

Oh, also I am listening to parents of human children who have lost their young babies and made it through grief.  They're giving me hope that I will survive this too.  
Violetta Andruszkiewicz 
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