Novasmom712
I was just curious if anyone has decided to get professional help for their grief and if so did it help? It has been almost 4 weeks since my Nova passed away and I am worse than ever! I keep seeing his final moments over and over in my head, playing like some horror movie that I can't stop. I have so much regret and what ifs. I break down all the time. Doesn't matter where. Last night was the worst of all. I was saying all sorts of terrible things that I think was really scaring my boyfriend. I know he mourns the loss of Nova as well but he didn't have the same connection as I do. He is really trying to be there for me but I feel like he doesn't know exactly what I'm going through since he wasn't there. Should I seek help or wait? Is it worth it?
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NormaT
Dear Novasmom,

The grief and regrets you describe are normal, expected and part of the healing process - although it won't feel that way right now. Our other halves often don't have the same feelings and this too can be hard to understand.
I'm guessing that what's scaring your boyfriend is you having thoughts of not wanting to live? If these thoughts are fleeting and more about not wanting to wake up then again these can be part of the grief and aren't so much of a worry. But if you are thinking of suicide and making plans then you do need professional help.
These awful feelings will subside in time but until they do you need to keep yourself safe. I don't know where you live but perhaps it would be best to get in touch with your doctor.

Keep safe now and remember you haven't always felt this way and you can heal.

Norma
Norma 
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Sadiesmom061308
I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain is excruciating. I agree with Norma. If you feel out of control and not able to handle life on a day to day basis get in touch with a doctor. Sometimes therapy is good because you are able to talk about your feelings face to face with someone. I have sought out a therapist. It is beneficial for me to talk with someone who can just listen and offer advice. I am going one time a month for awhile. I feel it is helping me. I am trying to walk daily and do things for me to keep busy. Wishing you some peace. Sending you hugs.
Tammy
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Novasmom712
Yes I feel like I don't want to live without Nova, but I wouldn't kill myself. I just feel like I don't want to live each day knowing that he isn't here. He didn't deserve what happened to him and I wish I could have taken on all the pain and suffering for him. I'd give up everything just to have him back. He was only four and had so much more life to live. He was such a good boy and finally starting to really enjoy life and it seemed like we were finally back on track. He had so many silly injuries and illnesses all through out his life. And we had gone quite awhile there where he was totally healthy and fine then he got sick and was gone in less than a month. I feel like I must be getting punished. To take away the most important thing in my life. It was cruel to him and to me.
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catlover1
Nova's Mom,

It has been almost 3 months since I lost my sweet boy Cody. The guilt and sadness has not gone away. I feel guilty for many reasons like Cody getting sick, me not spending all my time with him even though we spent a lot of time together, and I feel guilty about living life without Cody. It feels wrong to me to live life without him...I had him since I was 16 years old and we went through everything together. I love my other cat Kaci so very much but she is not a lap cat and she loves her alone time...Cody wanted to be with me 24/7 so my life is completely turned upside down.

I have not sought out therapy. I am sure it may help talking but I do not think it would make these feelings go away any sooner. Also for me the commitment isnt worth it. I work part time so I make myself go into work but I do not want to be on any other type of schedule. Some days I literally just stay home and watch TV all day long which I NEVER did before (which is ironic because Cody would have loved to lay on the couch with me all day...so anything I feel guilty about is doing that NOW instead of THEN)

Sorry I could not be much help--I am in no better position then you unfortunately. 
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winstonsmom12
I have many many of the same feelings as you all do.. Nova,  In the first few days after Winston passed, My daughters wanted to hospitalize me.  I was Hysterical. I felt i was having a breakdown. I prayed to my parents (both gone) to please, please help me. This to my surprise seemed to work.

I take solace in knowing I did the right thing for my Baby, but that doesn't stop the grief or guilt. Winston was much older than your baby.  But that doesn't matter does it? Sometimes, more than not, i think I have PTSD. We shared 12 wonderful, loving years together. I have been looking into Fostering.  I have a great need to help and Love another animal.

I think My Winston wouldn't mind me helping another.  I am not trying to replace him, just my need to have another dog to love is overwhelming.  My thoughts and Prayers to you for peace and relief from your grief.  I am all in favor of you seeking counceling, to protect yourself.  Hoping you find peace and relief from your grief and guilt.  We all are going through this together.  Sue XOXO
Susan
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Novasmom712
Sue, I think you should pursue fostering a dog. There are so many out there that can use your help. I have been fostering Weimaraners for the last year and a half. Nova was a Weimaraner as well. I absolutely love the breed! But a few days after Nova passed away I couldn't stand the loneliness anymore! The house was so quiet. I contacted to rescue and asked to get another foster ASAP. So here I am with foster number eleven. I feel no connection with him and I feel a bit like I am betraying Nova. But helping my foster (Louie) has at least given me something to do. He is a project dog and is going to be with me quite awhile. It is very rewarding to help the pups find a new loving home! Plus you get to help them work out their issues which in turn helps you grow. Louie is a good boy but he's no Nova! I'm hoping that by fostering I may come across a pup I fall in love with. We will see! It's hard to imagine me falling in love with any dog besides Nova. He was so perfect in every way! Perfect for me anyway!
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Solo1419
I lost Buck in January. I had the same feeling that you have. What is normal to one isn't normal for another. I have been seeing a counselor for the grief. I didn't want to go on.
Losing our fur babies is devastating. I have to say that the counseling has helped in so many ways. It takes time to heal. Just being able to talk with a counselor and understand the grieving process is a Hugh help to me. I highly recommend seeing a counselor. It has made a huge difference for me to deal with the loss of my best friend. I am finally healing and want to stay around. Hope this helps.
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