Registered: 1549899487 Posts: 1
Reply with quote
Bodhi, my sweet 12 1/2 year old Newfoundland, is fading....and it's breaking my heart. I have been sleeping on a mattress on the floor of my office with him for 9 months because he can no longer go upstairs. Now, he is having trouble standing up, walking around, and squatting to potty, and often needs help. We have him on pain meds and are doing everything we can to keep him comfortable....but it is obvious the end is coming, and I find myself unable to come to terms with it. I am stressed out and depressed and worry about everything. I rarely leave his side because I worry that he will hurt himself trying to get up or falling. I do everything at a frantic pace to get back to him as quickly as possible, and have rarely left the house for the past month. I guess I have "Caregiver Burnout", and am desperate to find people who understand my feelings to talk to.....
Registered: 1368651776 Posts: 206
Reply with quote
Shine, I've had so many losses. The last one was weeks ago. Reese had a cancerous tumor on her heart. She crashed one night, we took her to the e vet and they drained the sack around her heart from fluid and blood from the tumor. She acted much better for 2 weeks. My mistrust of vets had me spent a lot of money to confirm what they told me before I even considered letting her go. But then after they drained the liquid and she looked better, I just couldn't put her to sleep when she was looking fairly happy. But my husband and I promised each other, the next time she crashed, and we were told she would, we would let her go. I only got 2 weeks and she crashed again. My love for her would have had her fluid drained again to have more time, but as with my other dogs I always soul search and ask myself one question: What would I do or want if it was ME? Of course I'm not one who wants to lay suffering when my time comes, I just would like to leave with some dignity and as little pain as possible. It's not til I talk to myself about this can I give my babies the same consideration, but everyone is different. I try very hard, but haven't always succeeded in letting my babies go before its totally unbearable for them. Hard to do when they cannot talk. I feel your pain, I've been there. You have to do what feels right for you, but one thing I can assure you of, no matter when you loose your baby, he knows now and will always know just how much you love him. Let me ad, for a Newfie to be 12 and a half, tells me you've been loving him and caring for him for a long time. Soul search, look into his eyes and get some help from him. I swear I knew on most of my dogs by looking into there eyes and talking to them, when they were ready to go.