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shine

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Bodhi, my sweet 12 1/2 year old Newfoundland, is fading....and it's breaking my heart.  I have been sleeping on a mattress on the floor of my office with him for 9 months because he can no longer go upstairs.  Now, he is having trouble standing up, walking around, and squatting to potty, and often needs help.  We have him on pain meds and are doing everything we can to keep him comfortable....but it is obvious the end is coming, and I find myself unable to come to terms with it.  I am stressed out and depressed and worry about everything.  I rarely leave his side because I worry that he will hurt himself trying to get up or falling.  I do everything at a frantic pace to get back to him as quickly as possible, and have rarely left the house for the past month.  I guess I have "Caregiver Burnout", and am desperate to find people who understand my feelings to talk to.....

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