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Katel
Angelena,

I'm thinking of you as always, I think of you every day and will never forget the love and
support you gave me when Charlotte and Danny passed. Sending bags of love to your dear Waylon and Maybe and  I hope they are giving you lots of kisses and strength with their love.

I know you still ache for beloved Monkey  and I think you always will.  One day you will tell Waylon all about him and the joy he brought to you. 
.
I don't come here so often now, which doesn't mean I miss my precious ones less as I do with every fibre of my being. and I talk to them all in my heart all the time.  

My little Phoebe Chi brings me a lot of pleasure and in loving her I am finding consolation. 

Sending you gentle blessings and prayers for healing,
Much love,

Kate 

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MonkeysMama
ppowell wrote:
Hello MonkeysMama

Thank you so much for your kind words. Prior to posting on this site I looked around a little. I looked at the video of Monkey you have posted. He was quite a little character! I can see what a special bond the two of you had. I love that piece of music from Forrest Gump that plays first. It is quite beautiful. The video was a really nice tribute to him.

I am so very sorry for your loss, that has to be one of the saddest stories I have ever heard. Poor little guy! It just sucks that we cannot protect them from everything...

Starla was an amazingly beautiful dog, she came to me from a rescue group that got her from a very high kill shelter. I had another dog at the time, a male cocker spaniel named Biff. He passed last April, so I am really dealing with a double loss here. Biff had a very sweet spirit. God I miss them both so very much.

Starla was pretty hyper when I first got her, but over time she relaxed and understood she was here to stay. That is one of the reasons I feel so sad, she spent so much time ill, she did not get to enjoy her new life for very long. Thank god for pet insurance, Starla received the best medical care money can buy. At least she got a little more time.

I sent her out for cremation, she will be coming home within a week. The all I will have is ashes for both Biff and Starla. I hate having to go to work, it is difficult to maintain composure. Yesterday was particularly awful. Sorry to ramble so much. Patricia










Patricia,

Thank you so much for your post. I'm so sorry it's been so long in getting back to you. It means so much to me that you read my story, it means so much to me that you'd take the time to watch Monkeys video. Just knowing other people see him and can feel his spirit means the word to me.

I hope you're doing OK. I don't know if things have gotten any easier for you but I do hope you've continued to come here for support. This place truly saved me. I feel bad sometimes for not coming back as often, but it can be hard seeing everyones heart ache. I try to come back and give words of encouragement every now and again but it just breaks my heart so much.

Again, I'm so sorry for the loss you're feeling, with both of your furbabies. I know both of them were so incredibly lucky to have you. 

Thank you so much again. My thoughts and love are with you.

Sincerely,
Angelena
Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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MonkeysMama
Bellamum wrote:
[3571200_s1_i1]
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MONKEY!
I hope you enjoy your day with all of your friends.  Remember always that your Mommy loves you dearly and misses you every day. xxx


Karen!

Thank you so much for this, you are so sweet. I hope you were surrounded by so much love this past Valentine's Day.

I'll be posting a message to your page soon.

With love,
Angelena
Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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MonkeysMama
MurphysMom_0831 wrote:
Happy Valentine's Day, Monkey!

[10446592-Cute-chihuahua-puppy-in-a-gift-box-with-red-rose--Stock-Photo-valentine-dog-puppy]

Have fun with Murphy kissing all the girls, and send
lots of love to your Momma
who misses you so.


This is so precious! Thank you so much Kathryn! Sending you so much love to you and your babies!

Always,
Angelena
Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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MonkeysMama

Bellamum wrote:
e45a349775acc7c3ffdcda08c6ffc417 (385x385).jpg 

Hi Angelena,
I just wanted to share this quote with you.  I think it is perfect for our beautiful babies, Monkey and Bellsy.
Love to you, Maybe and little Waylon.  Hugs and kisses to Monkey and Bellsy.


Karen,

I can't tell you how perfect this quote is, it truly says it all doesn't it?

Thank you so much for sharing!

Love,
Angelena

Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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MonkeysMama

Katel wrote:
Angelena,

I'm thinking of you as always, I think of you every day and will never forget the love and
support you gave me when Charlotte and Danny passed. Sending bags of love to your dear Waylon and Maybe and  I hope they are giving you lots of kisses and strength with their love.

I know you still ache for beloved Monkey  and I think you always will.  One day you will tell Waylon all about him and the joy he brought to you. 
.
I don't come here so often now, which doesn't mean I miss my precious ones less as I do with every fibre of my being. and I talk to them all in my heart all the time.  

My little Phoebe Chi brings me a lot of pleasure and in loving her I am finding consolation. 

Sending you gentle blessings and prayers for healing,
Much love,

Kate 



Kate,

Thank you so much for always thinking of us. I'm sorry to for not coming on here as much. With work and our new baby and it being so hard to come on here, I just don't make it here all of the time. But excuses aside, I think of you always and I feel your love. 

I am so sorry it's still so hard. I know what you mean. But I am sure that all of our furbabies are running a muck and having the best time ever!

I hope you feel my love being sent to you always,
Angelena

Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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MonkeysMama
Hey Monk,
 
Where do I even begin?
 
I don't even know what to say baby boy. I'm sorry I don't write you anymore. It makes me feel terrible that I don't. Like I've forgotten about you or like you're not as important anymore but please believe me, you are. 
 
I think of you so often. And so often I'm shaking my head, I don't know whether its in disbelief or confusion but its the only thing I can do these days. Re-realizing that you're gone all of the time is harsh. I don't understand how it's still so hard for me to believe. 
 
I miss you so much. It still hurts. It still disorients me. It still feels like a nightmare I'm supposed to wake up from. 
 
I so badly wish I had hundreds of pictures of you and Waylon cuddling. I wish so badly I had video of you 2 doing silly little boy things together. I wish desperately that he'd know you and not just see you through memories and pictures. I show him pictures of you all of the time and it makes me happy but then it makes me heart feel so weak. He would absolutely love you Monk. And you him. How can it be that you 2 were meant to be best friends yet you're gone? I guess it's obvious, that's not what was meant to be. And I hate it. It drives me crazy that this is how it's meant to be. It makes me so angry. 
 
You were the best, Monk. The best ever. You were my little soul mate. You were little but you took up so much of my heart and soul. You were big in so many ways. I miss you. Hopelessly. 
 
Waylon is amazing. He's a little over 4 months now. When I think of how old he is, I usually just can't believe he's been without you for so many months. He is the light in my life that went out the day you left Monk. But it is different. 
 
I really am so thankful for everything I have. I am truly, truly so lucky. It makes me feel like I'm ungrateful for all that I have when I think of how miserable I can feel without you. We have a beautiful home, in a beautiful town, with amazing cats and dogs and jobs with insurance and the most beautiful, healthy baby boy. Yet, sometimes I can't help but feel like it's not as good as it could be if you were here. I feel terrible for feeling that way. But I just want you back. I just want you here. So badly.
 
Maybe is...Maybe. Part of me loves her but so much of me still has a problem with her, and I feel bad about that. She's just not you Monk, and that's no fault of hers but it seems to matter to me still. Sometimes I'm not that nice to her, I wish I was better to her but it's hard not to compare her to you. And you're just...you. There's no comparison. It's weird, aside from barking too much, she really is wonderful, but somehow, I just can't let my whole heart open up to her. I try to love on her and cuddle when she's sweet but when she's bad, I get so angry and I'm mean to her. And it's awful. She doesn't deserve that. I try to be better some days more than others and then sometimes I just wish you were here instead. I try not to say that, because she's meant to be with us. This is how it's supposed to be. So who knows what would've happened to her if this isn't how things worked out. But it's so hard not to feel that way sometimes. Especially when she makes me mad. 
 
Cooper's having a really hard time with Waylon, Monk. I wonder if he'd be having an easier time if you were here. Maybe just gets pumped and makes it worse for him sometimes. Coop just paces and pants and whines all of the time now. It really sucks. Because then we have to just barricade him in the kitchen and he doesn't get to hang out with us. But he acts super weird and unpredictable around your brother and we just can't take any risks. I wish so badly he'd calm down so he can be with us more. And it can get so annoying and frustrating when he's just relentlessly whimpering and whining or barking and then your dad gets mad at him or I get angry with him. I feel so bad for him, he's such an old man and I really don't want the last of his days to be those of constant stress, anxiety and being yelled at. We've tried medication but it doesn't really seem to be working. I wish you were here to make it better for him. You were one of the few other animals he ever liked.
 
You were something else, Monk. You were magical. You lit up my world. You made the impossible seem possible. You made happiness a habit. You made everything more beautiful, brighter and better. I couldn't have imagined my life without you let alone having to live it without you so soon. 
 
I hope one day this all makes sense. I hope one day I realize why it had to be this way. I hope one day it doesn't seem in vein. 
 
I hope this pain never goes away. You deserve to be longed for and missed from now until forever and more.
 
Your soul is always with mine. And I cannot wait for the day we meet again. But for now, I hope you're seeing us from where you sit and feel our love for you and are happy to see Waylon grow. 
 
He'll miss you too Monk. Just like we all do.
 
Thank you for everything. Thank you for being you. Thank you for the magic. 
 
I loved you. I love you. and I will love you. From now until after I'm gone.
 
Forever,
Your Mama Waylon_2015_Samaria_Daniel-36.jpg  reWaylon_2015_Samaria_Daniel-131-1.jpg  Waylon_2015_Samaria_Daniel-143.jpg 
Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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Bellamum

Hi Angelena,
Firstly, the photos of Waylon are just gorgeous...those huge brown eyes are beautiful. 
I can imagine how busy you are with a 4 month old baby...no time for "me time", but it is worth every second as you watch him grow and change.  The time goes so quickly.  Before you know it he will be at school and you will be asking where the time went.  Enjoy every second of it.

I can tell that while you are so happy with your life with Waylon, your heart is still broken after saying goodbye to Monkey.  I know exactly how you feel.  Good things are happening in our life and we feel truly grateful, but we still have that over riding sadness now that Monkey and Bella are gone. 

I am sad for you after reading your thoughts and feelings about Maybe and Cooper.  Don't be too hard on yourself.  You are doing the best that you can.  You have a lot going on in your life.  With time, everyone assures me that things will begin to "even out".  I know that initially I had a part of me that would sometimes look at Charli and think, "I wish you were Bella" or "I would swap you in an instant if it meant that I could have Bella back".  As I was thinking it I would feel so bad because my grief is not Charli's fault at all and she really is the most affectionate dog, but she IS NOT Bella and she still has many "puppy like" naughty traits that Bella did not have.   I can honestly say that with some time, those feelings have gone.  I still miss Bella every second of every day and I still cry for her, but I love Charli dearly.  She is still quite "naughty" and she drives me nuts at times, but she is a sweet dog and I am trying to accept that I had my time with Bella and it was wonderful, but Bella would want me to give Charli the best of me that I can give her, just like I gave Bella the best of me that I could.  I think of it as ....every time I am loving and sweet to Charli, it is also my tribute to Bella, because we only have Charli because of our wonderful life with Bella.  Sometimes it is hard, but I am striving every day to do this, so I do understand your mixed up feelings about Maybe.  Give yourself time.

The Copper problem is a hard one.  As he is older and used to not having a baby around, it is a difficult situation, but as you said, you need to take care of Waylon and protect him in case anything happens.  I hope that this settles down for you too.

The sadness we feel is deep, but the gratitude is even deeper.  We were truly blessed to have had Monkey and Bella in our lives and now we continue to be blessed with Maybe, Cooper, Charli and Buddy and your gorgeous boy, Waylon.  As you said, we are lucky.  We need to keep reminding ourselves of that.

I am so glad to have heard from you again.  I think of you and your family (on Earth and at Rainbow Bridge) so often.  I will keep you in my thoughts and pray that things begin to get easier to cope with.
Love to you and hugs and kisses to our angels, Monkey and Bella.   xxx

Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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Bellamum
1c1233c27ea01539e73f930cb8096538 (640x479) (400x299).jpg 
Monkey is your "Gatekeeper".  He opened your heart up to Maybe.  It is because of him that you were able to love another.  Your life with Maybe is a tribute to Monkey every single day.  xxx
Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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Katel
Dear Angelena,

Oh how beautiful your Waylon is and how happy he looks.  I am happy for you.  But at the same time I realize there is a place in your heart that hurts so bad for Monkey and I wish it wasn't so.  Even when we have good things going on in our lives and we know we should be grateful that cannot remove the deep pain of loss.  I too feel grateful for things that are good in my life including my little Phoebe Chi but at times just ache for my gone ones and wish with all my heart they were here smiling up at me.

I always think of you and send you prayers that one day you may find peace, that all of us may find peace,  and I send so much love to Monkey who will be playing with my Danny and Charlotte.

Kate
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Bellamum
happy easter (640x398).jpg 
HAPPY EASTER SWEET LITTLE MONKEY!
I am sending you wishes for a wonderful day with Bella and all of your other great friends at Rainbow Bridge.  I hope you get lots of Easter treats.
Stay close to you beautiful Mommy...she loves you dearly and misses you so much.  Help her heart to heal.    xxx
Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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MonkeysMama
Hey Monk,

What do I even say? You know it all. You know how much I desperately miss you. You know how heavy but weak my heart feels when I think of you. You know no matter how amazing Waylon is, it still feels like something's missing.

I'm still having trouble letting Maybe in. I love her so much and she can be such a sweetheart but there's just something that stops me from completely opening my heart to her and letting her in. I feel bad, it's not her fault, but I just...I can't. I just wish it was you. I just wish you were here. I just wish I could see you kissing Waylon and see him grabbing at you. It's just not the same. It's just not...what I thought it'd be. It's everything but you. 

Coop's just been getting worse. We had to get a shock collar. It works...most of the time. But he still just powers through it and we have to keep turning it up and I hate it. It's hard not to think it'd be different if you were here. It might not be, but for some reason I think it would be. 


Waylon's absolutely amazing. I can't even explain how much I love him or how much he makes me smile or how much I miss him when I'm not with him. You would love him. I wish I could see the two of you cuddled up together. Or see you grabbing at his fur or tail or ears and him licking you. I already miss all of the things you won't do together. I show him your picture almost every day. And every time your dad says "Is that your puppy?" Or "are you looking at your puppy?" when Waylon's looking at Maybe, I can't help but feel a tug at my heart that's saying "no, you had a puppy but your puppy's gone now". 

I cried the whole way home yesterday. I used to cry every day to and from work. I want to, so much of the time, but I can't. I don't know if it's because I don't have the energy or tears. 

On the 7th it will be 11 months since you died. On the 11th it will be 11 months since I knew you were dead. 

I'm still angry. I still don't understand it. I still wish it was different. I still am trying to understand how this is how it's supposed to be. I'm still trying to accept Waylon will never know you. I still can't believe you lay smashed on the side of the freeway for almost a week before you were collected. I still struggle every day without you. I still get disoriented when I think about it. I still feel sick when I think about it. I still long for you. I still feel desperate for you.

I don't know if it hurts more not having you for me, or not having you for Waylon. I guess all I know is that is just hurts. All of the time. It has gotten harder in so many ways. I thought it was supposed to get easier. 

I can't believe I was 5 months pregnant when you died. And now Waylon's going to be 6 months old. Where did the time go? Sometimes I still think about going and trying to find your collar on the side of the freeway but then I realize that it'd be impossible to find after so much time has passed. Like so many others on here, it feels like it's been forever, but then it feels like you were just here. But then sometimes, I feel like we never even had you at all. I feel like I've forgotten so many things about you. It drives me crazy. I hate it. I wish I could remember every detail of everything you did every day. 

I love you so much Monkey. I love you more than anyone can ever understand. You were my boy. You were my baby. What we had was different than anything I've ever had in my entire life and I will never be the same.

There is so much going on every day, I feel like there's no time for anything, but every day I think of you and I mourn for you and I struggle to accept this life without you.

I wish it was different Monk. I wish this wasn't the way it was. I wish I lived in world where everything could be exactly like it is now but you're also here with us. You and Maybe would be the best friends anyone's ever had in the whole world ever. Or you'd be boyfriend and girlfriend:) I wish so badly it could be that way. But no one gets everything they want, even those who deserve it so why should I?

I try to hard to remember that I truly am lucky. I have so so so many things to be thankful for in my life. It could be so much worse. There are so many people going through so many hardships, things I can't even comprehend. So I need to just be thankful. Be thankful for the beautiful, healthy boy I have, for the beautiful dogs and cats we have, for the wonderful home we live in, for the steady job I go to, for the trusty car that gets me there, for a wonderful man who takes care of all of us. Please believe when I say I am thankful, because I really am. And I know how lucky I am. But its so hard not to just wish for more. To just wish you were here. 

I got to talk about you with a friend and co worker today. It was so nice to be able to talk about it. I mean...nice in a sense of getting it out of me. Nice is not necessarily the best word. It was hard but it felt good to be able to just talk about you. I don't do that anymore. I feel like your dad thinks I should be over it so I don't bring it up anymore. We talk about you, I bring you up all of the time, but I don't talk about how hard it is still for me. And then I don't want to bring it up with your uncle or grandparents because I don't want them to feel helpless or feel bad for me. So...I just think about you and talk out loud sometimes or just think a lot of things to myself. It felt nice to talk about how it all happened and for someone to care about what I went through. 

It's been hard Monk. And it hasn't gotten any easier. It's just gotten different. You were so sweet and funny and cute and cuddly and amazing. Amongst all of the anger and sadness, I am so happy for the time we had together. I am so thankful the universe gave us the moments we got to share. Even if it doesn't feel like it was long enough or the 20 years I expected we'd have together, it is better than nothing and I revel in every second it was. 

I was just telling my friend how the night before you died, the night we were hanging out with you and Coop before we had to drop you off at grandma's on our way to LAX to fly to Nicaragua, your dad was sitting on the couch with you and we were talking about how cute you'd look with gray hair all old. I wish so badly I'd get to see that version of you. I wish so badly Waylon would be 18 and we'd still have you and we'd watch him drive away together to go to college. How could I have pictured that before and now he'll actually never know you at all?

I miss you. I love you. I hope your soul is happy and your energy has turned into something beautiful and fulfilling. I have no doubt it has. You took up most of my heart and now most of it feels different. I hope one day it can heal again so I can be more accepting of Maybe. She deserves it.

Thank you for everything and for every second we shared. I will forever and always be grateful for each one. I hope you know you were loved and cared for and that we were going to come back for you. I can't help but wonder if you were running trying to find us. Why didn't you run to the park? Why'd you run onto the freeway? How is that what you did? How did the loud cars not scare you away? Why? How? I don't know Monk. I just know I love you. I just know I miss you. 

Missing you always, loving you always,
Your Mama

PS. Look how big your brother's gotten!
IMG_8215 copy.jpg  IMG_7859[1] copy.jpg  IMG_7833 copy.jpg
Monkey
April 1st, 2011 - June 7th, 2014
Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I can't wait to see you again.
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Katel
Angelena -  Waylon is truly amazing,  he looks so happy and delightful.  Yes where did the time go, it seems just like yesterday that he was born.  Thank you for sharing the photos with us,  to see a photo of a gorgeous baby lifts the heaviest of hearts, it sure does mine

I feel your pain so deeply at the loss of little Monkey, and that Waylon will not get to cuddle him.  What can I say.  One day you will tell Waylon all about Monkey,  you will tell him stories, adventures, about this wonderful little dog and in his own way Waylon will get to grow up with him.  I remember stories my mum told to me as a child about her puppy who died and I felt as though I knew him. 

Don't fret too much about not feeling so deeply about Maybe, you do love her and she knows it.  You love her in a different way to Monkey so it's ok.  You wish you could remember everything Monkey did every day and I can so relate to that.  Memories can seem to fade and then, for me anyway, suddenly a vivid picture will appear of my lost ones and I'm stunned at how clear they are.   And how they stab my heart, even if they are happy pictures.

I don't know how long grief lasts,  I don't think it ever ends really,  but we change very very slowly over time.  I wish I could say that i don't grieve any longer for my other pets who died years ago, but I can't.   It's not as constant but there is this pain in my heart that remains as I know it does with you.  I wish so much some peace for you and I honestly think of you  every day, and of course Monkey.   You have painted such vivid pictures of him I feel as though I knew him.

Blessings to you Angelena,

Kate



 
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Bellamum
ar13563717572568.jpgMerry Christmas Monkey.  Have a great day playing with Bella and all of the other sweet friends you have made at Rainbow Bridge.  I hope you get lots of presents and eat lots of treats.  xxx

Dear Angelena,
Wishing you, Maybe and your family a safe and happy Christmas.  Waylon's first Christmas...how exciting.  Have a great day.  Monkey will always be with you, at every celebration because he is in your heart always and he looks down on you protectively.  Love to you.  xxx

Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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