CKMP's beautiful words have said everything anyone could say. There are not many things in our lives we have no control over, but one, unfortunately, is the actions of others. You trusted this person with a duty of care and he failed you and, most cruelly of all, his daughter. And no doubt his snap decision about Popcorn was made purely selfishly to cover these failings. The fact that he has probably now lost his daughter forever is his payback in the short term. Long term, maybe that is for someone else to decide.
To "feel the touch", is a place I go to often. I had to stop talking about Timothy a long time ago because to many others he was 'just a rabbit' and I 'should be over it' now. So it's a little place in my heart and in my head that belongs just to Timothy. We function, because we just have to, and try to go about our hectic lives with some sort of new 'normality'. But for every minute inbetween, we can take ourselves off to that special place. There is no one there but us. We can make it as calming and as peaceful as we wish. We can stay for as long as we like. We can talk, smile, laugh, cry, and we don't have to do it outwardly because no one knows we are there. In return, we may get signs. Before I lost Timothy I would have scoffed at such a thing. But I have had many, too many, to be merely coincidences. Please don't tell me that I sound like the 'crazy bunny lady!!'
The love between you and your daughter and Popcorn is tangible, so he is with you. If you can go to your own special place, and recognise the signs he sends you, it might help a little bit. And we all need to grab at anything that will bring us the tiniest bit of comfort.
Popcorn's mum, telling this story must have been one of the hardest things you have done. But you did it. It maybe one of your baby steps towards making peace with yourself. So continue to write whatever you need to.
" The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal" C.S. Lewis