LuckyLouWho23
I wish that the nights and the early mornings weren't so hard. I feel like I just get to sleep after crying, and then wake up crying. I also hate that I count the days since Popcorn has been gone. I just know that my grief wouldn't be this bad if it wasn't for how he died. It just never should have happened like this. Every time I try to talk about Popcorn now my daughter says she's sad, please don't talk about him. She was the only person that I could talk to him about. I used to talk to Popcorn if I was sad, because I didn't want to worry my daughter. Now I can't do that either. Some days I get so angry. I know it's natural to feel that way, but I shouldn't be this angry. I keep asking what I could have possibly done so wrong to deserve this. Then I stop myself and say, there's no way that my daughter did anything to deserve this. Then I say, for sure Popcorn didn't do anything to deserve this. I'm just so mad! He didn't deserve to die! I have always thought that there are evil people in this world, but that I know the person who killed Popcorn, well it certainly doesn't sit well with me. I know that in time this will just become routine, me realizing that Popcorn is gone forever. That doesn't help me, it makes things worse. I've thought about getting another pet, but L just is so against it. I think she's scared to fall in love again, and then have loss. I don't blame her I guess. I love you Popcorn. I miss you so much. I will keep talking to you, and to Jack, because I know that you can both hear me. Hopefully one day I will stop crying. It's hard to cry every single day. It wears you out. I just wonder when I see you again one day will it be happy, or will it be tears. I keep thinking it will be crying, because again I will feel the strong need to tell you that I never never ever wanted you to die, to go away, and how you have to believe me, how you just have to forgive me. You mean so much to me Popcorn, and I don't care if people don't understand that. A big part of me went away when Jack died. Now you're gone too. I don't know how much I honestly have left. My heart is broken. 💔
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Bullymom
I really wish I could help you more. I wish I could tell you something to help you feel better. All this anger and pain are too much to handle. But I understand how you feel and honestly think I would probably be the same if I were you. I think I would probably have gone to the vet office and asked him personally what happened and why he is not returning your calls. Maybe if the vet could explain to you that something terribly bad was going on, you could find some peace on this.
Just don't try to find on you or your daughter a deserving reason for this suffering. No one should go through this and I'm sure that nobody who can so deeply love a pet like you love Popcorn deserves to go through such horrible experience. The way you lost him was the most traumatic I could imagine, because he was taken from you without any explanation. So yes, it's ok to be angry and sad. But understanding that this is all part of your grieving will help you through it.
I pray that we all can find peace. I'm still not ok with my loss either, but hope we can all make through this and find hapiness again.
Sending you blessings,
Diego's mom
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camunki
I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling for your sweet Popcorn. And more importantly how your daughters Dad ended up saying it was ok to euthanize. Makes me very mad too, cuz I know my vet knowing that I am the primary "caregiver" would never allow anyone else to make that decision unless I was there. I'd talk to your vet too about this incident.

Anger is a natural feeling when we lose our pets, I know yours was out of your control and you didn't even know it happened until you returned home..........but I too felt anger when I lost my beloved pets, most recently Jemma, anger that I did not take her to the vet sooner to save her from the IMHA illness that she had, anger that I let her go too soon even though the vets told me it would be best to take away her pain. 

The tears still fall for me to this day, and I am going on 10 months, it is only because I miss my Jemma alot, she was a great girl and lived 11 years and 5 months and 9 days old....yes, we want our pets to live forever.

I know your sweet Popcorn knew love, when he was last with you he loved you and knew true love....and now, your Popcorn is still with you....and he still loves you!!!

Keep crying, keep venting, its all normal, and keep posting here because this forum is wonderful, people truly understand all the feelings.....and maybe someday you can get another pet again, maybe also try to talk to your daughter about your feelings, she could be hurting just as much as you and not wanting to "talk" because her real feelings of true sadness may come to light.

Again, so sorry about your beloved Popcorn....sending warm hugs your way.

Cam


 
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LuckyLouWho23
Thank you for your message. I'm sure that you miss Jemma a lot. I try talking to my daughter, but she says that it makes her too sad. I just let her talk when she needs me. I'm not hiding my crying anymore, but I worry that might be making her close up even more. I finally think that I found someone for her to talk to. I'm making an appointment and going with her for her first visit. Hopefully this lady will understand and respect why she's so sad. If not, well then I guess that means that I just search for a new person. As far as the vet it's been a while now that this has happened. I did try to talk to him, no returned call, so I sent an email to his office manager. He himself has never replied. I'm sure he's worried about the things that I said. I mean I don't want the guy to lose his career, but I feel like he should be punished for what he did. I think he understands now to never do that again to someone else. That sure won't bring Popcorn back, and that's all that I keep thinking about. Thank you again for your message of support. It means a lot to both me and to my daughter.
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JoyAlane
I have been reading your posts and my heart goes out to you. I lost my little Rowdy last August 6th, 2016. My constant companion for almost 18 years. Totally devasted me. I went into a depression, even going to bed and getting up only for what I couldn't get out of doing. A book I found helped me so I just wanted to share it with you in case you might be interested. "Biblical Proof Animals Go To Heaven." Grief is so hard to process. Unconditional love is what our fur babies give us and that is not easy to get through when they go. I understand the circumstances wete devasting as well and I'm so sorry. Please hang in there and I will be praying for you.
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gizmomybaby
Thinking of you x its soul destroying am crying all the time x my baby left us 2 weeks ago tomorrow x am hurt angry everything a feel I can't cope with this pain its horrendous x I have one fur baby left candy and a cant bare the thought of losing her too x I cry so loud a think my street can here me , am sobbing uncontrollably x a just would do anything to have mu baby boy gizmo back x the pain is unbearable am in shock that hes away and ano it's going to take a long time x a dont have children they where my only baby's x so sorry for your loss a feel your pain xx sending huggs x
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JoyAlane
I'm so sorry, I know it is so so hard. Try to keep believing in the love you two shared. You will see him again. I get scared too when I think about more loss and grief. We must hold on to our hope and love. I may have mentioned it before, so if I have please forgive me. But a little book really helped me. "Biblical Proof Animals Go To Heaven" by Steven Woodward. It is just that it helped me so much. I went into such a depression that I went to bed when my little rowdy passed. I would only get up to do what I just had too. Maybe it would comfort you too I'm praying for you. God Bless you.
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