I had to put Pootska down on February 24 2018.

He was my kid, my buddy, my companion my little black and tan mini dachshund.

He was born in our bathroom July 29, 2009.

His mom got IVDD when she was 3 years old and the operation was a sucess and I did ask the Vet if IVDD was a hereditary disease and he wasn't going to say it was or it wasn't he just gave some statistics that 1 in 5 of this breed will get it.

Fast forward to 2015 and the Pootska is off his feed and doesn't want to climb the steps to get into the RV. So I give him a lift.

Next morning he can't walk.
Vet prescribes crate rest.

A week later he gets surgery and he's up and walking the next day.

This February he gets a relapse.  The vet does an exam and says it's the 3 same disks he fixed years ago plus no deep pain in the legs.

Another surgery is out of the question for my wallet.  I had just got out of the hospital having colon cancer surgery and almost $5000 of bills sitting on my desk.

I thought about a cart for him but when I went to pick him up to take him outside he squealed and yelped.

He didn't improve much with crate rest over the next few days and he would not eat and did nothing outside.

I gave him a good life and there was nothing I could do to improve the quality of life he was  suffering now. 

 We could try the surgery again but with no deep pain in the legs, that was iffy.

That was Thursday, he was euthanized Saturday morning.

 I took his body home wrapped in a blanket and laid him down in the sun and began digging his grave.

Out in the barn I had some cherry wood left from a bookcase project so I set about building him a coffin.

That took most of the day and the last shovelful of dirt filled the grave around sunset.
Then I had to go into an empty house (RV)

 It's been 5 weeks and 2 days since I held his body and the vet gave him his final shot.  I felt his body go limp, not a good feeling for me.

It's been hard, being alone, coming home and not hearing him barking with joy, 'Daddys home...Daddys home'

 Yes lonely for sure.

The worst is at nite trying to sleep,  his memory creeps into my mind always with questions, did I do the right thing, should I have waited longer and hey, What's another $2000 on top of your hospital bills and on it goes.

Finally I do fall asleep before I'm consumed with guilt that, somehow I let the Kid, the Pootska down.

 Will I get another dog?  I don't know.  He made me happy and I enjoyed him and I'm sure he enjoyed that I gave him a good life.

 George in Tucson

When the situation is hopeless,
 you have nothing to worry about.
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I am so very sorry for all you’ve been through! Battling cancer is hard enough as it is, but to be compounded with this and the grief... My heart sincerely goes out to you.

One thing I can say though, in your words, I can tell how much you cared for and loved Pootska. Being that he already had surgery in his spine and the resulting care from that, you did a lot for him that many others would not have done. It may not feel like it now, but it was a very loving thing to sacrifice your own desire to keep him alive with you in order to end any suffering and pain he was in. It takes a lot of bravery to do that.

Keep hanging in there and know that everyone here understands your feelings.
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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Let me just say that Val said it well.

I'm a little sad myself right now, so for now I'll just say that you're in good company here. Everyone of us knows how you're feeling. Lord it ain't easy.

Bertie's Daddy
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His grave is on the east side of the barn.   I walk by there every morning and I do talk to the kid.
I tell him good morning and what a nice day it's gonna be, you'd like it I say and then I tell him I miss him.

So I talk to a dead dog every morning, how weird is that?

Well it helped me to just talk to my buddy and get it off my chest.

After 6 weeks and 2 days I am better.

Alpha and Beta were born in my bathroom.
Alpha soon to be named the Pootie came out backwards, tail first and that's how He was born and I pulled him out by his tail.

10 days later when his eyes opened up the first thing he saw was me.  Daddy he said.

He chose me and I loved every minute, hour and day of it.

He was a good boy and when I think of him it's all the good positive things, the wonderful things.

A celebration and that is how I feel about him.

I do miss him but I'm getting through this.   He was not my first dog nor will he be my last, I just have to find the right one.

The Pootska will live in my heart forever.

Picture of his mom and dad and Alpha and Beta.

When the situation is hopeless,
 you have nothing to worry about.
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