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ourwonderfulkitty

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Reply with quote  #61 
Karen,

I'm only now coming to read your thread, and want to offer my condolences.

I am so comforted to read the kind and understanding words written by those at this forum, such as those
in the replies to your post, and that gives me comfort for my own situation of losing our kitty 6 weeks ago,
though it feels like yesterday.

I'm also trying to balance my grieving and crying and sad feeling with times to remember the good times,
and am more often writing down notes about the wonderful things she did, or the things I would say to her at different times.

And am trying to be more kind to myself to not put any timeline on my grieving but knowing its ok to let that happen as it will.

And its the support and understanding I've received at this forum that lets me know that is true and ok.


But wait, I just re-read your latest post re different styles and approaches to grieving and that resonates with me since have
been trying to understand this for these weeks related to my wife.

and its been difficult for me, since she on the surface is not as vocal or demonstrative in her grief, and does not mention our kitty that much -

but to be fair, with her medical issues she has to be very careful in movement and even crying can lead to a bad migraine.

And she is worried about my own health in watching me go thru this, and she has a right to be concerned.

I showed her some literature that I printed out about that grieving for pets is normal and that we all have our own style of grieving
and she said she appreciated that.  I told her that I will not cry or be distressed in front of her, and that I am ok with doing that,
and she did understand.   She is the one who chose our girl, she is the one who took care of her most of the time, who measured out her food
and who loved her as much as I did/do.

And I thought having that conversation with her could help, and I think it has, and she is more clear on what I'm going thru.

Karen, am wishing you all the best.

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Reply with quote  #62 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KarenE
Please someone give me some hope. We had to put down our beautiful 10 year old golden yesterday after a struggle with cancer. I am devastated. I can't stop crying and am not able to function. Does anyone have any advice? When does it get better? I have done this before and have lost family members but don't remember it being so intense. Lambeau was a really special guy full of so much love. He was my constant companion and I "see" him everywhere I go in my house. Thanks so much for any advice.
Karen
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Reply with quote  #63 
KarenE, NOT YELLING LOW VISION. LAMBEAU WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO BE UNHAPPY AS THAT IS WHAT MANY HAVE TOLD ME. MY PRECOUS FEATHER BABY COCKATIEL SPARKY PASSED DECEMBER 28 2017 AND THAT WAS SEVEN MONTHS AGO ON JULY 28TH..HE WAS 28 YEARS AND 10 AND A HALF MONTHS OLD. AND BORN FEBRUARY 14TH 1989. I WAS TOLD TO GIVE OURSELVES ALL THE TIME WE NEED AND TO NOT HAVE EXPECTATIONS OF FEELING BETTER TOO SOON. I MADE A BUTTON MEMORIAL CALENDAR FOR OUR SPARKY. I USE WATER BOTTLE WHITE CALL ON A PAPER CALENDAR AND WRITE EACH DAY PASSED AND USE ORANGE MARKER AS THAT WAS SPARKY'S FAVORITE COLOR ON THE BOTTLE CAP AND TAPE IT TO THE,CAKENDAR, HER3 I'D A PICYUR3. IT HAS GIVEN ME A SMALL TASK TO PERFORM AT MINUTE OR WHICHEVER TIME YOU CHOOSE, SAY A PRAYER TO LAMBEAU. WOULD SO LIKE TO SEE A PICTURE OF LAMBEAU .TRY WORKING THROUGH EACH SECOND AND PRAY YOU FEEL BETTER, HERE IS A PICTURE OF SPARKY AND HIS PRAYER CALENDAR.
SO MUCH COMPASSION US SENT YOUR WAY. U TOO NEVER GRIEVED FOR ANY FAMILY MEMBER AS I DO FOR MY CHILD SPARKY. HUGS JOAN, SPARKY'S MOMMY AND JIM SPARKY'S DADDY

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KarenE

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Reply with quote  #64 
Rookiesmama, our wonderfulkitty,and sparkysmomanddad
Thank you so much for your responses. It helps so much to hear from people who understand and acknowledge the pain of losing your pet. I just reread all of your responses because I am hurting so much right now. I have been trying to distract myself by reading but it isn't helping. All I can do is cry and it hurts that I can't share my grief with the person who knew Lambeau as well as I did. It makes the loneliness that much more intense. It is hard to fight back the tears and pain because I don't want my husband to have to deal with it. I miss Lambeau so much. I spent part of the afternoon laying on the floor where we used to have his bed. It made me feel closer to him. I held the urn that holds his ashes. I looked at pictures of him. The longing to just hold him and kiss him is overwhelming. Lambeau would have loved all of you and your pets. He was the most loving dog that I have ever had. I don't know how I am going to get through this. it will be 3 weeks tomorrow. Your pictures of Sparky made me smile. My sister and her husband had a cockatiel who lived 27 years. I never thought I would hear of one living longer than that. Sparky must have had a wonderful life full of love. Did you feed Sparky a lot of people food? My sister fed their feather baby alot of what they ate and the vet said that contributed to his very long life. Hugs to all of you and wishing you peace as you mourn the passing of all of your lovely fur and feather babies.

Lambeau I love you and miss you. I feel lost and in so much pain without you. I know that wherever you are, you are joy-filled. Sleep tight tonight my sweet boy. I can't wait until it gets dark and time for me to go to sleep. It is the only time I get a break from this pain. Hugs and kisses to you.

Mom



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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #65 
Karen, you are not alone on this unfortunate long journey with grief. I'm sorry you have to hide your grief from your husband, I do too so I know the feeling of loneliness this brings. It would be so healing if you could have a good cry with the only other person who understands what you've lost. 

I hope tonight Lambeau visits you in your dreams and you wake up tomorrow morning with a little less pain in your heart.

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(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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Reply with quote  #66 
Lambeau mom thank you for writing it really helped me to know that you enjoyed looking at him and understand his love I love you had can you ask your sister about her cockatiel and let me know what your cockatiel 8 I could tell you what Sparky loved each other love a lot of table food but I would like to know how her cockatiel past because I'm still puzzled if your house Sparky past he had a bunch of hardened stool out of his events that was hanging I think that's what it was I don't know it was very sudden and he was panting and and scared and he had his wings up and he couldn't breathe and he had probably been in there like that in a while I don't know please ask your sister how he passed and let me know it really is important to me to know if it was something that I could have avoided it was very very black Harden stool he wasn't really sick he had a pressure sore in the bottom of his foot his nails were a little long the August before he passed he had a bad weepy eye which seem to clear up and after that I don't think see out of it at all SPARKY LOVED Grape-Nuts corn noodles little bits of chicken used to like rice and then he got sick of it noodles little bits of pasta little bits of fat-free ham tiny bits from Oscar Mayer be like mashed potatoes, bits of baked potatoe, A nothing wet at all, then go get a drink he knew what that meant to get his water, the pizza crust very small and no sauce will give him no sauce in anything you're the salt free diet pretty much all three he liked Pepperidge Farm butterfly crackers as we called them I think they were butter but they were shaped like a butterfly his favorite other cracker would be harvest wheat Pepperidge Farm he liked water crackers he loved Carrs water crackers I watch salt and everything he loves crackers and cookies as we call them but they weren't really cookies absolutely no chocolate poison for him you could ask your sister how her booty passed away I would just love to know Sparky deep we didn't really fly free for a long time years he never really flew that much I never clipped them maybe twice a year sometimes it feels once a year it took for 5 months or more it very long tail feathers that used to take sometimes two years to come out history could write me private message me and I'll give you my email I hope you're doing a little better it's going to take a long time I don't mean to scare you I'm not trying to scare you give yourself as much time as you need and don't let anyone tell you to move on my husband is here and he knew him not for the whole time I did prefer about 18 years and he really is not understanding my grief so I don't know why you don't want to bother your husband is it because he's grieving and I wish there was someone else that I do have the friends in pet loss and I have other friends I have a really good friend in Arizona she understands my love for him and what I went through I care about you and write me when you can Joan mommy of Sparky prayers for Lambeau
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Reply with quote  #67 
Me again did you know that the Monday night candle ceremony I'm not sure what state you're in but it central time I think it's at 8 but I'm not sure going to Rainbow Bridge and find a link that says Monday night candle ceremony you may still be able to sign Lambo up but maybe you're too late I don't have any trouble signing them up late because it didn't really start yet if you have any questions right me talking to sensel beer with the type turkey would have been 29 on February 14th of this year he was born in 1989 February 14th and he passed December 28 2017 getting something nice for Lambos ashes might help you I still have the can that the Crematory gave me and I think you could see their some of my messages about how horrible they handled him there but I just have like a junkie tent tin can and I will get something else one day
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KarenE

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Reply with quote  #68 
To Sparky's mom and dad
I asked my sister what her cockatiel Hobie died of and it was old age. The vet said she had never heard of one living to be 27 years old (much less 28 as in Sparky's case). As we discussed Hobie ate lots of people food. He loved rice, pasta, bagels ,vegetables....you name it he liked it. Have a peaceful night.

Lambeau's mom

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KarenE

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Reply with quote  #69 
My sweet Lambeau,
It has been 3 weeks today that your adventures in this world came to an end and you crossed the Rainbow Bridge. It seems much longer than 3 weeks. In fact, some days seem like 3 weeks. I miss you so much. I remember so clearly the last time I looked into your beautiful brown eyes. I am heartbroken and my chest actually hurts when I think of you. I am having some moments when I feel a little better but they are still far and few between. I know that with time, good memories of you and moments of peace will become more frequent.  Have sweet dreams tonight Lambeau and the third week anniversary of your passing is a good time to visit me in my dreams. I love you. I long to give you a kiss on your soft, fluffy cheek.


Mom

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Reply with quote  #70 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KarenE
To Sparky's mom and dad
I asked my sister what her cockatiel Hobie died of and it was old age. The vet said she had never heard of one living to be 27 years old (much less 28 as in Sparky's case). As we discussed Hobie ate lots of people food. He loved rice, pasta, bagels ,vegetables....you name it he liked it. Have a peaceful night.

Lambeau's mom
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Reply with quote  #71 

KAREN THANKS FOR SHARING WHAT YOUR SISTER SAID ABOUT HOBIE.OLD AGE, I THOUGHT ABOUT MY SPARKY EVERY DAY WITH WORRYING ABOUT HIS LEAVING ME. HOPE YOU CAN WORK THROUGH THIS GRIEF EVERY DAY. TAKE CARE.
FRIENDS, JOAN, SPARKY'S MOMMY
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KarenE

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Reply with quote  #72 
Thanks Joan.

Lambeau's mom (Karen)

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Reply with quote  #73 
KAREN DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL PIECE IF CLOTH OR BLANKET LAMBEAU HAD. MAYBE THE SCENT OF HIM WILL COMORT YOU AND HE WILL K OW YOU ARE STILL THERE FOR HIM. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
FRIENDS MOMMY JOAN , SPARKY'S MOMMY
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KarenE

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Reply with quote  #74 
Joan - I have a blanket that he liked. It doesn't really smell like him but just knowing that he curled up in it is comforting. I have his favorite toys packed away for now because I can't deal with those. I am just having a hard time seeing a future without him. I think it would help alot if my husband and I could talk about Lambeau, but my husband doesn't' want to "dwell" on it. I think that he doesn't want to deal with the pain of losing him. Thanks for your support. Hugs your way.

Lambeau's mom

I love you sweet Lambeau

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Reply with quote  #75 
KarenE NOT YELLING LOW VISION. I THINK IT MAY BE MORE THEN NOT WANTING TO DWELL ON IT. MY HUSBAND IS NOT FEELING THE PAIN, HE IS NOT COMPASSIONATE AND HAS BEEN UNWELL WITH SHORT TERM MEMORY PROBLEMS COMPOUNDED FROM HIS MEDS.

KAREN WERE LAMBEAU AND YOUR HUSBAND CLOSE? SPARKY LOVED JIM BUT DID NOT HAVE THE CLOSE BOND SPARKY AND I DID.

DI'D YOU PUT AOT OF LAMBEAU 'S THINGS AWAY AS YOUR HUSBAND FELT THAT WAS THE BEST THING TO DO.

LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU. HOW LONG ARE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND TOGETHER. STILL WOULD CHERISH SEEING A PHOTO OF YOUR SWEET LAMBEAU.

JOAN
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