Jenn
Hi Everyone, 

I lost my girl a few days ago and I'm so depressed. She was my world and I feel like I failed her. The way she left was not what I had envisioned for her. I didn't want her to leave in pain or alone and thankfully, I was there with her but she did go through some pain for an hour or two that we know of. Also, I feel like I could have gotten help for her and I let her go too soon. Maybe all she needed was pain meds. I was told she had brain cancer but she was doing so well after her diagnosis. I'm having a hard time getting motivated or feeling motivated to do anything. I haven't gone to work, I feel exhausted and I just miss her so much. I feel guilty. I feel empty. I keep fooling myself into thinking I will see her again in this life. I can't stop blaming myself. She trusted me to take care of her fully and she was healthy on all regards. I think weaning off her meds made the seizures come back. I feel I spent way too much time worrying instead of enjoying her and that robbed us both of precious time. 
Jenn Path
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Sil
Jenn,

I am truly sorry for your loss of your beloved pet.  I understand your pain, your guilt, your not wanting to do anything but cry.  Their loss leave us with such an intense "raw" pain, that words cannot clearly describe it.  The world "feels" incomplete - you feel "incomplete".  I lost a very sweet male doggie, Sol. 

Sol also suffered from seizures and his liver was compromised.  When he was diagnosed, I felt "numb".  I remember crying and telling Sol, "to fight, to no leave me....".  I will never forget the "look on his eyes, like he was telling me, but, I am still here".  Sol "fought" for a whole year......and when he was ready to say good bye.... I was not.  Sol was given pain medication...but, Sol suffered....during those last moments, I told Sol, how much I loved him and thanked him for being in my life....what an honor to be chosen as his "human". …. 

You are feeling pain, guilt and second guessing yourself, with what if's?? - your decisions were based on love....never, to cause pain or harm to your beloved pet.

Your precious beloved pet, "knows how much you loved her and that you will love her forever....because, love is endless".  The bond between you and your precious pet is unbreakable.  You might not see her physical form, but her spirit is surrounding you.  And, yes, I believe heaven is for our beloved pets -  they hold the number one spot.

Write as much as you would like.  This forum has a community of people who have so much compassion and empathy - no one here will judge you.  Again, I am very sorry for your loss.  Hugs



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clevymd
I am sorry to hear of your loss.  I think we all struggle with the guilt and uncertainty of our decisions to let our fur babies go, because we don't have any guarantees even when we do our best.  We love them, and always will.  I have found that it does help to express your feelings on this forum, and there is a lot of support here.  
Carole, Mom to Zoe, who crossed the bridge on 7/5/18, Jasmine, who crossed on 7/14/18, and Layla, on 12/1/18, all will forever be in my heart, and ongoing mom to Roxie.

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/ZOE085/Resident.htm
https://www.RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JASMI151/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/LAYLA022/Resident.htm
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