I used to have 3 cats, Maxie, Taz, and Tigger. Two years ago we lost Tigger from complications due to diabetes. She was 17 years old. A month later we lost Maxie from what the vet believed was cancer in her foot that had spread to other parts of her body. She was 21. I can still feel the sorrow I felt as they were put down. After that, my husband and I became increasingly attached to our remaining cat, Taz, who was 19 at the time. As he got older, though, we started to see that he was slowing down. His arthritis was getting bad, and he was losing weight, even though he ate plenty. When we took him to the vet for his rabies shot we were told he had hyperthyroidism, which is why he was losing weight. The vet also diagnosed him with cardiomyopathy. He put Taz on meds for the thyroid problem, but it made him itchy, so the vet said to stop them. At that time the vet said he had @ 6 months to live. Two years later, we took him in for what would be his last shot. He weighed 3.75lbs. The vet again gave him 6 months. By November, we realized he was really having trouble. He could barely go downstairs to his litter box, so we brought it upstairs. He also started falling over more often, and would not sit all the way down because it hurt his hips and backside too much, since he had lost all the fat in his body. You could feel every bone and was unable to jump up on the couch. We made a little ramp to help him. Then, in late December, he stopped eating, even fresh chicken I cooked for him, but was constantly drinking water, like he just couldn't get enough. He had also started crying out, which we knew meant he was in pain. We decided over the weekend that we would finally have him put down the following Monday. So, on Monday, just before Christmas, he went to the vet for the last time. I can still remember the heartbreak as my husband and I petted him and told him we loved him as he stopped breathing. To this day I still expect to see him waiting for me when I get up in the morning. I also sometimes get the sensation that he's sitting on my chest, but when I put my hand up to pet him, it hurts to realize he still is gone. I loved all my cats, and missed Maxie and Tigger, but losing Taz has been almost unbearable. We have all three buried in the back yard with pretty rocks as markers, along with another touching tribute. When an animal is put to sleep at my vet's office, they press a footprint in some clay that you can take home an bake in the oven. We put our babies' name tags in the clay below the print before baking it. I painted some wood plaques I will glue the foot prints to.
Is it weird that I still miss Taz so much after all this time? I suffer from terrible depression and anxiety, and he was always my company while my husband was at work. He hated to see me cry, and would stand on my lap with his little paws on my chest, and touch noses with me, and head-butt my chin and cheek. He would even put up with some hugging despite not being a real "huggy" cat. I want to get a new cat, but tight finances keep that from being an option right now.
Sorry for going on like that. I can get awfully gabby at times.
Thanks for letting me tell my story.
Beth Sholtz
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I don't think it is weird at all that you are still mourning and grieving over your loss. You loved your cats and when you love an animal you always love that animal even long after they're not with us physically. I know it may not be of much comfort to hear but your cats had wonderful long lives and I'm sure they knew how much you loved them. I hope you can get to the point where you may be able to adopt another cat if that is your choice. The shelters in my area often run specials where adoption fees can be as low as $10. I realize that there are many extra costs involved, however. I hope it works out for you that you can. There are lots of animals that need lots of love and it sounds like you have more love to give :) 
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Dear Beth, I am sorry I didn't see your story sooner. Sometimes they move down quickly as others post. So I hope you get this reply. You have had so many losses! I feel so bad for you. It is such an intense pain losing our pets (who are really more like our children but also friends) I can tell how much you miss Taz in particular but I do think you and your husband made the right decision to let him go even though it was so painful to watch him leave - the ultimate, final gift: to free him from pain. So good that you both stayed with him!
It sounds like you have created lovely memorials to your babies! I love the idea you had with the footprints.
I found that when my little dogs left, night time was the worst as they slept with me and I understand when you say you put your hand there and Taz is not there. It's so very heartbreaking! I hope you can find some peace. I know how hard it is and I wish you didn't have to got through this. Please take care of yourself and post again if you feel up to it. Hugs to you,
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We recently, June 1st, lost our beloved Angel puppy girl Satin Marie after 11 years. These past two years she has fought Mast Cell tumors. Her body just couldn't take it anymore. We had our kitty Angel Sparkle for 17 years, she was 18 and our dear puppy girl Gizmo for 16 years, she was 17. We still miss them as well but Satin Marie was so much different. I have all my furbabies buried in our backyard, coffins and concrete vaults I did myself. Having done it two times prior, I had experience at the task so Satin's was done much better. We lost our Molly kitty in August 2014, she was in the yard and my Shepherd, who was 4 at the time, got her. He had just gotten two neighborhood cats who made the mistake of coming into the yard a few months earlier. Due to my situation then, I had no choice but to bury her in the dirt. This past Sunday, I finished that area off with flowers and now Molly is in grave like the others. I still have some more work to do as I really want to make this right for all of them. It has never been an easy task letting go and I still have three boys I will have to do the same with.

The pain is still so intense just a mere five days but I am somewhat consoled by being here. Through all this loss there is so much more love present. It's obvious and apparent in these posts.
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