I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved fur baby Sophie. It is so hard for us who have to make the choice you made, the brave choice none of us ever wished we would have to make. We end our fur babies suffering and our own suffering begins. The emptiness and loss feels unbearable.
When I lost my Mia, I read a book by Jon Katz, Going Home, Finding Peace When Pets Die. I've shared this passage from the book before on this forum because it resonated with me and brought me some peace:
Dear beloved Friend
It was my time to say goodbye, my spirit was fading, and I was being called home and away from you. I wished to be strong again, to roll in gross stuff, to eat all the things you hated me to eat, to run through the fields and the woods, to smell the stories of life, and to raise my nose to the wind and see the world all over again.
I know I leave you in loneliness and pain. I hope, in your grief and loneliness, that you remember how sad it would have been had we not had this time together, not had the chance to give each other so much.
I have gone, but I have not gone far. I will see you again and I will watch over you. Thank you for all you gave me. I ask that you remember me and grieve for me. And then, when you are able to, let the pain and grief go freely, and in peace celebrate me.
My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of loss. Hugs, Cynthia.