Picked up Misty's ashes today so that was tough. Although in the long run I’m glad she’s at least back home, even if this is of course not how I wanted it. Something new they did was there’s a little tin with clay and they took a paw print. I didn’t know about that so when I opened it I lost it even more. But glad to have it - glad to have anything of hers.
In the long run I know the best way to honor her memory and all our wonderful times is to smile when I think of her. I’ll never stop missing her – never have stopped missing Gwen after 5 ½ years. I’m trying to work through the guilt, but that’s tough too. I still feel guilt about so many other past losses, so guess I usually just bury it.
I've been looking for a 'sign' from her. I virtually never remember dreams, so don't think I'll see her that way as much as I desperately want to. As I was getting close to the hospital and getting upset, I thought I heard a noise like her getting up in her crate. I'm sure it was just some noise my old van was making, but like to think maybe she was getting up to check on me because I was crying.
I love my baby girl.
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