MMC
I lost my beautiful Chihuahua yesterday and i cant stop crying. Has anyone lost their baby to trachea collapse? My baby was 16 years old.
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Rookiesmama
MMC, i'm so sorry for your loss! I'm glad you found this forum though- feel free to share stories and pictures when you're ready. No one will judge you here, everyone is working through their grief. I'll be thinking of you.... what was your baby's name?
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MMC
Ok thank you rookiesmama , her name was Molly. I was there for her birth and now her death. I wish that I could hug her one more time.
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Rookiesmama
Victoria, I will be thinking of you and Molly!! Sending you a hug!
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MAlcindor
Victoria, I am so sorry for your terrible loss of your Molly. I lost my 2 babies recently under different circumstances, but each hurts just as much. I'm glad you found this forum where everyone understands your pain. We all wish we could hug our babies just one more time. It is so sad that we just have to accept that they are gone from us. Thinking of you and Molly.
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catiebee
I'm so, so sorry about your sweet baby, Victoria! Tears can flow for such a long, long time. But they are part of healing. I wish you much comfort and encouragement during these ever-so-painful first days after your loss. Write as much and as often as you need to. We all understand how terrible the pain is. Hugs to you...
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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CKMP
MMC,
So so sorry for the loss of your Molly girl.  Being separated is agony and the loss of the physical presence is excruciating and devastating to the spirit and the soul.  Grief is such an overwhelming emotion catching all of you and throwing you into an 'abyss' from which it seems there is no escape and even no light.  Your sweet girl though is with you - and understands the love and care you gave her from the day she was born until the day you said goodbye for now.  Please do not let guilt also slip in through the door with grief...It seems we are all so so quick to blame ourselves and take on the responsibility for everything - and that includes what we did do, what we didn't do, what we might have done and what we should have done...All these are are 'tricks' beset upon us by our minds and hearts to punish ourselves over and over.  Guilt is always the last to leave too, it becomes an unwelcome guest that you just can not 'kick out' if you let it. - You did what was best for your Molly - for her comfort, for her dignity - out of love and respect for your fur companion.  There is not many of us that do not wonder what else we should have or could have done...Yet, realistically we all know [through that logical part of us] we did what we could, when we could and how we could.  Sixteen years is a long time together and sadly our fur ones just do not have the bodies that last for long enough, but please know it is the soul, the energy of her spirit that is forever.  She has so much more time with you - just within a different form crossing different realms now. Molly stills your voice, and knows her mom loves her so...She will walk with you still MMC, and will be no more than a heartbeat away...Let those tears fall, and let Molly know she is loved so...Lean on others in this forum - there are so so many kind, understanding people here.  May you find some stillness and calm within your heart and soul if even for just a moment of two.
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Rookiesmama
CKMP, you wrote, "Please do not let guilt also slip in through the door with grief...It seems we are all so so quick to blame ourselves and take on the responsibility for everything - and that includes what we did do, what we didn't do, what we might have done and what we should have done...All these are are 'tricks' beset upon us by our minds and hearts to punish ourselves over and over. Guilt is always the last to leave too, it becomes an unwelcome guest that you just can not 'kick out' if you let it."

These words are so right on. I know for me, I've definitely been letting guilt sneak in. When you're missing your friend so much, it's an easy thing to do. The day I decided to bring my Rookie to the vet he was still attentive at times and would wag his tail- but he did seem just so tired and sad (which I constantly question if the meds did that). Also pretty much the last day and a half I just laid with my Rookie and held his paw- and he never tried to move away from me. He was always a cuddlebug anyway, but you know, he'd have his times where enough was enough. He also actually crawled over to me one on those days and put his head between my legs-- something he rarely did. I try to think about stuff like that, and think that maybe he was trying to tell me he was ready. The ultimate guilt comes with him being relatively young (9) and suffering a sudden injury that caused partial paralysis. He LOVED his walks and fetch, so I try to rationalize maybe this is better for him. Hopefully he's somewhere, running happily now.
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