spiritdog
It's been a little over 3 weeks, and the tears haven't stopped.

I mailed back some medicine to a vet that I hadn't used or opened.
She was willing to take it back as we just got it the day Side died.

Anyway the receptionist called and asked how are you? My brain
scrambled trying to find the words.....and I finally said "I really
don't know how to answer that". Because I am shattered.

Let alone every clerk in every store asks that same question.
I wish they wouldn't, they won't like my answer.
"People disappoint, dogs never do" - spiritdog

"You MUST be your pets ADVOCATE, if it doesn't feel right walk away." - spiritdog
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Ginad
I so feel your pain, it has only been a week since by beautiful girl passed over.  This morning she was the last thing that I saw in my dream and ironically enough I got a call that she was ready to be picked up.  I now have her on the ledge in my bedroom where she can look out as she used to surrounded by loving items her aunties sent for her.  When I picked her up they asked how I was and all I could do was just cry.  I just need to make sure that her ninja ginja cat brother doesn't knock her off her perch...he is only 2 years old and did give her a little bit of a hard time, mind you Honey did rule the roost and gave it back to him.  God bless hope you and I feel and everyone that has lost a loved one better soon. x 
Gina
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Momma2Max
I feel the same way Spiritdog...when someone asks me "how are you"....my knees crumble...

but this is what I do: fake a smile and say "good how are you"  And for that moment in time, I am fine. Maybe its a minute, maybe its 30 seconds, but for that moment, I am fine.  I can be fine for a minute or two or three. I can do that. And then in my alone time, I can crash.

But having all of you here at this forum, helps me with my crash time. Helping others helps me. Knowing that there are others who are going thru the same thing as me, helps to know someone understands.

Give yourself mini goals.  Today, I washed my hair and ate something.  I am going to get out of the house and function. Then when I come home, then I will cry again.

I also set the timer. I will allow myself 5 minutes to myself. And when 5 minutes are up, I start moving and do something else.

AA has a saying "one day at a time" - but i break it down into one minute at a time.  I can now get thru a day of work, without crying.  but it took time to get to 8 hours.
Kara
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Baileys_mum_01
People have stopped asking how I am.  I try not to show my tears in public.  My heart is breaking because I miss Bailey so much.  A work colleague asked me the other day "How are you getting on with that?" meaning how was I dealing with the loss of Bailey.  I told her I cry alot and I am finding it very hard.  I think people think you are ok because you don't cry or get upset in public.  I work in a school so I have to try to hold back the tears.  I wait until I am home alone. Work is a distraction for a while but when I get a few moments to myself I think of him and feel my eyes filling up with tears.  I have to fight them.   Sometimes I wish people would ask how I am.  I feel like the world has moved on but I have stayed still in my own little world mourning the loss of my precious Bailey.  I am so grateful that I can come here and talk to people who really do understand.
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ThomasCatsMummy
When people ask me how I am I find it hard not to cry - even people who don't know what's happened.  Just in general I'm not doing well.  I want to shout from the rooftops that the world isn't right or as good a place any more but I know that wouldn't help me or them.  I think Kara has a lot of good advice and I'm definitely going to try to take that.
Thomas Cat
In our lives 14/4/2009 - 18/05/2013
In our hearts forever
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spiritdog
I absolutely refuse to fake it or pretend. That would be for the other person, and to H***
with them.
I am not going to deny my grief, or hide it especially to a stranger.
"People disappoint, dogs never do" - spiritdog

"You MUST be your pets ADVOCATE, if it doesn't feel right walk away." - spiritdog
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maddy79
I agree with you 100%. I never fake it. This is how I feel, I am heartbroken and I do not have the strength to give an answer that is comforting for the person who asks. I am not trying to be impolite, just honest. The best i can do is say "I am getting by".
But I would like to be able to fake it, just because after my answer I get a pep talk about how there are worst things that can happen, I should be grateful for what I have and so on. I am grateful, I am VERY grateful for what I have, but that doesn't mean that I can't suffer for what I've lost as well. I wish people would understand that...
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Baileys_mum_01
I don't think people can fully understand unless they have been in our situation.  To me and I know most people here our babies are our children.  Bailey was my third son. I have to hold back my feelings at school because I don't want to break down in front of four and five year old children.  But as soon as I walk into the empty house again the tears start to flow. But I do agree we shouldn't have to hide our feelings. 
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