aliciasimon
I lost my sweet little Penny 13 days ago to Cancer.  Well, we think it was cancer but we don't know it for a fact, it's just that everything pointed to that.  She just started falling apart, slowly at first - a test here and there would show increasing amounts of this and that...and then very quickly.  She stopped eating and then she got dizzy.  At the end, she could barely walk and was so restless even though she was exhausted.  She was the most beautiful red dachshund that I got around 12 years ago when my male dachshund was about a year old.  I wanted him to have a friend and was afraid he would fight with another male, so I got a female.  She survived a rattlesnake bite and then valley fever.  I used to call her my money pit because something was always going on with her.  But the truth is I fell in love at first sight and would have done anything for her.  She was my sweet girl for so many years and I don't think I actually knew I would say goodbye some day.  But this year, 2018, things started going wrong with her.  Many, many vet appointments, ultra sound, this test and another test.  I knew she wasn't going to make it the last few days because so many things were going wrong, the last was extremely high blood pressure.  She was taking 4 pills twice a day.  And not eating so that was a major feat to get them in her.  I should have called the vet sooner than I did because she had been so miserable for so long and there was no hope of her getting better, but selfishly I wanted her with me just a few more hours.  I called a vet that does house calls - god send - and I held her in my arms as she went to sleep telling her she was a good girl, the best girl, and I loved her more than anything in the world.  She seemed very peaceful and fell asleep, finally, after days of her body not letting her sleep because she had something going on her brain, probably a tumor.  When the vet started to shave her leg for the euthanasia medicine, I gave her over to her assistant and left the room because I couldn't handle seeing her passed away -  just.could.not.  I miss my little girl so much.  The first day I felt like I would never smile again, or feel like it, maybe a few fake smiles I could muster.  But not the real thing.  I should feel ok again at some point, right?  Charlie is still with me, her best friend, and we are getting by.  Just like Penny, I love him more than anything in the world and I keep him close, I know he misses her too.
Mom to Penny and Charlie
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chance
your babies are adorable. i’m so sorry about your recent loss of Penny. We sure are never ever ready to lose them. It’s one of the toughest things to go through, but not everyone will understand what you are going through, unless they are true pet lovers. Sounds like you took great care of her and she was so lucky to have you. We all have guilt, it’s part of grieving. But try not to be hard on yourself for wanting a little more time with her. I lost my rhodesian ridgeback this past May. he was 15. He declined slowly and we adjusted things accordingly. he had quality of life until the last few days. when he couldn’t walk more than a few feet. was constantly panting. and had body tremors and would not eat last 3 days. i knew it was time. my vet suspected cancer also. but i didn’t do the biopsies. as they said, at 15 they wouldn’t operate. then just 2 months later my beagle mix started panting a lot. i was freaked out. he was 12 and i just knew he had a few more years. he was starting to stop on his walks. so i took him to the vet. thought possibly a heart issue. then he was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. he was sick. yet seemed alert and bright eyed. i couldn’t put him down that wk. they gave me pain killers for him. he lived two short wks. but we made the most of our time. know you aren’t alone in your pain. i’ve went thru so many emotions. more bad days than good. like you, i do have another dog. the house still just isn’t the same. things will get better. for some it’s just a longer process. we all grieve different. my heart goes out to you. prayers and many hugs.
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ForAbby
I'm so sorry to hear about Penny, the picture that you posted of Penny and Charlie is so cute! 

I can relate to what you are going through, I lost my yellow lab Abby to cancer 8 days ago. It was also very fast, she lived for about 6 weeks after her diagnosis. She showed no symptoms, so finding out that she had cancer and there was nothing that we could do really shocked me. It is such an emotional rollercoaster...she would have a good day where she ate all of her medications, ate her food, seemed to get around ok and then the next day getting her to take her meds was a huge challenge and we'd sometimes only be able to get some of them down. 

I think we feel guilty no matter what - during Abby's last week, I kept stressing out that we were waiting for too long and then once she was gone, I worried that we did not wait long enough. The timing is never perfect. 

I stayed strong for Abby on the day of her death because I wanted to be there for her, but I was a wreck the next day. I've been getting by with faking that I'm ok during the day at work, but I still cry every single night. 

I hope Charlie is helping you with the pain...I have another dog as well and though it doesn't make me miss Abby any less, it is comforting to at least have another furry friend around. 
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aliciasimon
Thanks to both replies.  My heart goes out to you as well.  They love us so unconditionally.  At the end, Penny was trying to console me of all things.  I sobbed uncontrollably saying I don't want you to go and she just wanted to lick my face and make me feel better.  My sweet girl!!!  I got her ashes back today and she is with me as I write this.  And now more crying.
Thank you for your thoughts and I hope you feel better knowing you gave your little ones a great life.  We did good!!!  We are all here because we cared and did right by them.




Mom to Penny and Charlie
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MAlcindor
I am so sorry for the loss of your Penny. It's awful when we lose our babies, we never want to think the day will come when we have to say goodbye to them. I never allowed myself to think of such things because the pain would be too great. Their departure is inevitable as their life span is so much shorter than ours yet we refuse to acknowledge it. The love they give is so special we can't bear it when they leave and the hole they leave in our hearts never heals. Keep Charlie close to you and cherish every moment you have with him. Hugs and prayers to you.
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Rookiesmama
Alicia,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Isn't it crazy how they try to make us happy until the very end? The day I had to bring my Rookie in, he was still (mostly) attentive and wagging his tail when I'd walk into a room. I'm glad your girl is back home with you. Hugs❤
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