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dustyangel

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Reply with quote  #1 
I almost can't believe it...My Patches is gone.
 
Wednesday morning, my 1.5 year old kitty, Patches (Patchey-boy), ate breakfast normally.  Wednesday night, he seemed not too interested in the food I put out for him and my other 2 kitties.  But Thursday at lunch, my husband (who is wheel-chair-bound at home) said Patches jumped up in bed with him to share some of his turkey sandwich.  Thursday night, Patches wasn't interested in dinner.  By Friday morning, I took him to the vet, as he was lethargic. 
 
My sweet little Patchey-boy, crossed over to the rainbow while his body was being heated in an incubator, as his body temperature was low.  They told me on the phone this morning, after he passed, that it was FIP (that he likely had been exposed to as he was a little kitten up to 6-8 weeks old), and lived with for these many months.  I lost my Dusty (my son) on (01/17/07), sweet DJ (12/6/08) and now my dearest little Patchey-boy 10/31/09. 
 
My heart is broken...I feel robbed of my time with him... I come to this website often to visit Dusty's residency-page/memorial, but I just can't believe, in 2 days time, my little boy has been taken from me.  The raw emotion of loss is all back, the crying, the screaming "Why!", the pain, the shock, the numbness... I'm reliving it all this morning.  I did remember, in trembled voice, to ask them to shave some of my little Patchey-boy's tufts of white/dark grey fur, to return to me, with his memorial box of ashes when he comes back. 
 
I feel so bad, he died alone.  I stayed as long as I could yesterday, and my tears...just kept falling on his fur...I kept stroking him, but it wasn't enough. 
 
I miss you so much it hurts my little boy...

Dusty & DJ....please, take care of my boy...take care of my little boy...

Karen/Dusty (& DJ & Patches) mom  
 
 

Attached Images
jpeg Patches.jpg (18.75 KB, 14 views)


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Dusty's Rainbow Residency:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUSTY101/Resident.htm

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Author Unknown~

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jasminesmom

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Reply with quote  #2 
Deat dustyangel,

I am so sorry for your losses. But in just that short time, Patches knew how much you loved him. All of us here understand the numbness, the voids in our hearts and the urge to scream "Why?".

My beloved Jasmine was taken from me 09-04-09 after suffering for weeks from an adverse reaction to ProIn. The vet prescribed it, I gave it, Jasmine had to be put to sleep because of it.

The one thing that keeps me going is The Rainbows Bridge knowing all the furbabies are free to run, play, eat and are pain free. Patches is watching over you and his memories will forever be in your heart.

Hugs,
Cheryl and Angel Jasmine


Attached Images
jpeg Jasmine's_Last_Day.jpg (427.69 KB, 3 views)


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Cheryl and Angel Jasmine
Jasmine was loved
Jasmine was given ProIn
Jasmine is now gone
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JAMIN001/Resident.htm

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dustyangel

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Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you, Cheryl, very much.
 
I would like to picture that Patches is now a sweet little angel, and that Dusty is showing him around, getting him settled in at the Rainbow.  But I am still numb today, in disbelief. 
 
FIP from what the vet said (which I'd not been at all familiar with FIP before) is something that little kittens may be exposed to, but most live with no symptoms and never get the disease, even if they "test positive" for it. So she explained it is rare, and not tested for.  Even my 3 year old and 11 year old kitty, the vet said now, there is no need to test them for it, as they likely both have passed the age where FIP generally affects a kitty (which I beleive she said is up to 2 years of age). 
 
I'm in shock, that as of Wednesday, he seemed like my little Patchey-boy, I held him, on my lap, in my arms...he purred....then Friday morning, he was listless....
 
Thank you for your kind and beautiful words of support.  It means alot, and I thank you...God bless you.
 
Karen/Dusty & DJ & now Patches furbaby mom

  

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Dusty's Rainbow Residency:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUSTY101/Resident.htm

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Author Unknown~
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AbramsMom

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Reply with quote  #4 
Dear Dustyangel,

My heart goes out to you, as I can understand what you're going through.  I can also tell you that you're at the right place.  Go ahead and scream and shout at us, we understand, we've either been there, are there, or both. 

I'm sure Dusty is showing Patches all the cool things to see and do up there at the Bridge, and I can assure you that Abram is in play position, tail wagging, ready to join in on the fun.

Linda
(A.K.A. Abram's Mom)
http://spriteengarde1.homestead.com/index.html
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dustyangel

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you, Linda....thank you so much...
 
I somehow can't even believe today, that Patches is really gone... He'd always follow me out to the kitchen first thing in the morning...time to get daddy's coffee, and time to get Patchey's morning wet can food is what I think he knew.... He just knew... like all our babies do, that the kitchen is a very "special place"....
 
I have 2 other kitties, and it broke my heart in pieces this morning all over again, to only put out 2 little kitty dishes of wet food....the spot in the middle was always for Patches, between the 2 females, he'd kind of be a barrier between the 2 females...
 
He was my love snuggler, lap boy, and loved to be on top of mommy's lap, or near me in bed cuddled at the crook of my knees at night... 
 
My heart is screaming "NO!"...
 
I lost Dusty..2007...DJ...2008...now my little boy...only a year and a half...in 2009...
 
I'm so numb.  I forgot how many tears the eyes can make... I forgot what the lump in the throat feels like, that just stays until the tears are over... I swallow hard, the lump goes away a little...then, returns with the tears all over again...
 
This website, is....a beautiful place of healing...of letting it all out....of sharing... I'm trying to draw on the strength...the very words...I've shared with others...but...the words...are just getting jumbled in my head...all I can hear is the words..."my patchey boy....my sweet little patchey boy..." 
 
I used to sing to him, to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree...Oh Christmas tree...."  I used to sing instead the words....."My patchey boy, my patchey boy....my itty bitty patchey boy" when he was a little kitten, and I just kept it up, even as he grew bigger...
 
I'm singing in my heart to you this morning, my patchey boy... I miss you so much...
 
I just know it was raining here in the Philadelphia area yesterday, as there were tears in heaven being shed for you, my sweet boy....
 
Though I had you only 15 months, you will forever be in my heart...I promise, standing proud, with Dusty...

Attached Images
jpeg Patches.10-2009.jpg (101.04 KB, 9 views)
jpeg Patches.jpg (18.75 KB, 6 views)


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Dusty's Rainbow Residency:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUSTY101/Resident.htm

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Author Unknown~

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MeggiesmomClaire

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Reply with quote  #6 
Dear  Karen,
I am so sorry for the losses you have suffered with your 3 babies. I also know the hurt, questions, and why's of why you had to loose them.
But God took Patches Home, as he knew he was suffering and did not want him to go through that.
You said "He was alone". No Karen, Patches was not alone, DJ and Dusty were right beside him, just waiting to bring him to Our Lord in Heaven and they guided Patches every step to his new home.
I also believe in my heart, if we are not with our furbabies, when they pass, there is a reason for it. And I honestly believe Patches did not want you to see him, as he left this world , and went while you were not there. Our babies protect us in any way they can to make the transition a little less traumatic, then it already is.
Please remember, Karen, you and Patches shared a special bond that cannot and will not ever be broken, just like a circle, no end to it. Also although his body left this world, his spirit will always remain with you.
I know your hurting and I wish I could wave a magic wand and take some of the pain away, but this pain we feel is part of the healing process and we all go through it.
Patches knew how much you loved him and will be watching over you daily, along with DJ and Dusty.
They are all together as Gods Blessed Angels, DJ, Dusty, and now Patches has joined them.
May you find some peace knowing we are all here for you, and having gone through the same thing with our furbabies, we truly know, how you feel and our arms are always ready to reach out and help you and each other.
Hugs & Blessings,
Claire

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Erin

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Reply with quote  #7 

I am so terribly sorry for your loss.  I understand what it feels like to lose a baby so young, I lost my sweetheart Sigmar to hemobartonella/IMHA a couple months ago when he was only a year old.  It's so rough, I don't know how many days I've screamed into pillows and thrown things because I just cannot understand why he had to die so young, why any of our babies ever die so young.  There's no making sense of it.  We just have to find solace in knowing that they are in a better place.. as hard as it is to think that there is any place better than by our side or in our loving arms, but there is a place where our babies won't have to worry about ever being sick again and some day we'll get to meet them in that happy place.  We'll never be separated from our babies ever again.  I cannot wait to see my Sigmar again as I'm sure you cannot wait to see your furbabies again.  One of these days...


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My Sigmar's Rainbow residency: http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/SIGMA001/Resident.htm

Sigmar, my baby ~ Forever in my Heart
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Faye

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Reply with quote  #8 
Dear Karen...
 
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby to FIP..It is a horrible disease and the more you read about it the less you know....D-Max also suffered from FIP and I am sure that he was one of the first to greet Patches and welcome him to the meadow where they are  both healthy and forever young running and playing together...
 
Your other cats should be fine..Midnight, D-Max's litter mate and brother is still with me and very healthy even though he tests positive for the corona virus..
 
I cry and grieve with you...FIP is not curable and can come on suddenley(Patches) or linger for years(D-Max)...
 
May you find peace and comfort knowing that Patches is no longer sick and in pain..He is with you always and forever in your heart and memory....
 
Hugs and Friendship...Faye_D-Max's Mom

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Tricia

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Reply with quote  #9 
Dear Karen,

My heart goes out to you on the loss of your precious baby Patches. In his short life Patches knew how very much he was loved, Bless your heart for loving him so much. Your loving babies, Dusty and DJ were right there at the Gates of the Bridge to lovingly welcome Patches to beautiful Rainbow Bridge where he can now run in the never ending days of sunshine and beautiful Rainbows.

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hugs,

Tricia

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jpeg BurtonandOzzie2.jpg (179.16 KB, 4 views)


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"Good night sweet prince:And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"
William Shakespere's Hamlet

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dustyangel

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Reply with quote  #10 
Dear Claire,

Oh how right you are, when you said Patches was not alone.  In my grief, all I could picture was "my side of the rainbow", and my last glimpse of Patches, being closed in the incubator.  When they closed the glass door, and secured it, it seemed so "final", though my baby was still alive at that time.  But you are so right, I'm sure, that Dusty & DJ were there, just waiting and hovering, for just the right time, to show him the path to walk.  When I read your words, that Patches wasn't alone, my heart had a glimmer of a smile, and I realized in my grief, I was overlooking the very hope and belief I have, that Dusty is my dearest angel, and yes, my heart knows, he was there...

Thank you, Claire, for the sweetest reminder to me. 

Karen/Dusty's mom

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jpeg !cid_543DEABB-4EFA-4F8C-BF5B-B5E80D87B220.jpg (39.59 KB, 6 views)


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Dusty's Rainbow Residency:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUSTY101/Resident.htm

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Author Unknown~

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dustyangel

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Reply with quote  #11 
Dear Erin, 
 
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Sigmar.  I will never know why Patches was taken from me so young, and I can't imagine the pain of losing your Sigmar at only one year of age.  I had my baby, just over 15 months, enough time for me to have a bond with him form, that just aches now that he's gone.  He used to curl up on my stomach, when I'd lay on the couch to talk on the phone when he was a little kitten.  No sooner would I lay down, then he'd "appear" on my belly, as if out of no-where.  I can only hope, that now, my sweet son Dusty has escorted Patches to the best sunshine filled spots, and they snuggle together, swapping stories of me... Dusty passed in 2007, and Patches wasn't part of my family then, so there will be lots of stories for them to tell... I am still crying, when I feed my 2 kitties their wet food, as reaching for only 2 bowls instead of 3, is making my heart break all over again at not having my Patchey-boy there, too...
 
God bless you, Erin, for your kindness...
 
Thank you, Karen/Dusty, DJ & my new baby angel Patches mom

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Dusty's Rainbow Residency:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUSTY101/Resident.htm

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Author Unknown~
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dustyangel

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Reply with quote  #12 
Dear Faye,

Thank you for your words about FIP.  Patches had eaten normally Wednesday morning, then, Wednesday night, seemed a little less interested in dinner (though he ate some chinese pork from the rice I had).  Then, to think, 2 days later he was barely alive, I still can't believe it.  Smokey (one of my 2 other kitties) is grey and white, too, and though they weren't related, when I see Smokey now in the shadows in my home, my heart skips a beat, wishing it were my little boy, Patches. 
 
The vet assured me there is no reason to test Smokey or "Momma" kitty (my other 2 cats) as they have passed the age (of 2), the age when FIP most often strikes by.  I'll never know what "triggered it", or if it just worked its way in time through his sweet little body.  Looking back, about 2 weeks prior,  I noticed his coat had changed (less soft, a little on the oily side), but I had just changed dry cat food from deli-cat to meow mix, and I thought, perhaps he's eating less, and I just need to switch back to his deli-cat... 
 
I miss him so much, and still cry whenever I reach for 2 kitty bowls instead of 3 when feeding the can cat food to my girls, now. 
 
Thank you, Faye, for your encouragement... I pray, Smokey and Momma, are fine, as the vet said there is no need to test them for FIP... 
 
Bless you,
 
Karen/Dusty (and DJ & now baby angel Patches) mom

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Dusty's Rainbow Residency:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUSTY101/Resident.htm

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Author Unknown~
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dustyangel

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Reply with quote  #13 
Tricia,

I can't believe even tonight, that Patches is really gone.  After only 15 months with me, he surely snuggled deep in my heart.  I've been at this website on-and-off since January, 2007...when my dear angel Dusty passed away... About 5 months ago, I wrote a poem for someone I'd previously met here at the site, who most recently had lost her 3 year old dog... The poem I wrote, was written with the theme that, though his life was short, it was filled with love, and also with the idea that, as a young pet in Heaven, perhaps he is used to greet young children who cross to Heaven without their parents.  The children are all alone, and just maybe, they get greeted by our kittens, puppies, and young pets who have crossed over from here, as what better greeting for a child in heaven, but a puppy or kitten's caress...

Sweet Codee's Love
 
In 3 years time, sweet Codee knew o'er a decade's worth of love
And in return, he'll shine it back to you from up above.
Like walks you took along the lake with Codee's head held high,
He proudly walks at Rainbow's bridge, with angels by his side
 
Perhaps your dear young Codee now greets children at the gate
who pass to Heaven all alone, they too at early age.
As Codee greets small children with a gentle loving kiss
he helps them softly settle into their own Heavenly bliss.
 
How sad he left your loving side so soon from here below;
But one thing that your gentle heart will surely always know:
You filled his life abundantly with love unendingly
That love he carries now with him through all eternity.
 
Karen Michaels
6/7/09
 
The reason I post this now, is I felt a nudge this morning to re-read this poem, written for someone else, but somehow...the words...came full circle, and have given me comfort, too...
 
Thank you, Tricia, for your beautiful words of support...
 
Karen

Attached Images
jpeg Patches.jpg (18.75 KB, 3 views)


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Dusty's Rainbow Residency:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUSTY101/Resident.htm

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Author Unknown~

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Janine

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Reply with quote  #14 
Dear Dustyangel,

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Patchey-boy. Losing such an important, beloved member of the family is so terribly painful.  It is unfair that you lost him so young. I know it is hard to get through the pain now, but you will be able to make up for all the time you missed with him once you're together in eternity.  My thoughts and prayers are with you on your loss.




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I love you forever Katie Kitty.
I can't wait to hugga-bug again with you one day.
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jen_075

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Reply with quote  #15 
Hi Dustyangel,

I am so, so sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet Patchey-Boy!! He is lovely!

Oh I know how devastated you feel, and it does hurt so much. These babies are our family and when they are taken away from us there is such a void.

Please know that you are not alone here- when I lost my boy 3 weeks ago I was in shock and so grief stricken, but found so much comfort here, everybody is so kind and really does understand.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I am sending you tons of hugs. I hope you find some comfort here.

xo

Jen


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