Parkersmum
3 weeks ago today we made the very difficult decision to let our beautiful boy Parker go. He was due to turn 13 on November 10th but his larynx had collapsed and he wouldn't have survived the surgery. I am heartbroken and devastated and just can't stop crying. It feels like the grief is coming in waves. My house feels so empty without him and I still expect to see him come bounding in the door for kisses and cuddles. I miss him so so much. He was always with me, my wee constant companion and he was such a mummy's boy. I just feel broken. I lost my mum to cancer 12 years ago and this is exactly the same feeling, if not worse.
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Gingers_Mommy
Parkersmum, I'm sorry for your loss. I completely understand the pain. Just days ago I lost my Ginger. You made the best decision you could as Parker's health and quality of life had declined. The pain does come in waves. Moments of numbness moments of stillness and moments of drowning in tears. I understand your pain. I understand coming home to an empty house now. Keep posting on this site. We are all here united in our pain.
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Parkersmum
Thank you Gingers Mommy! I'm so sorry for your loss too. It just shows how much they meant to us that it hurts so badly. I know it was the right decision for him 100% and that he died wrapped up in my arms eating a biscuit (his favourite thing...he was part Lab after all) for him there was no better way to go.
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Stealthcat
Parkersmum, I am so sorry for your loss. I can tell you really cared for him, and I am sure he loved his mom, too! 

Someone asked me recently if I would erase their memory in order to stop the grief. And as much as it hurts, I said no way!  Years of joy was worth it. Because you are right, they mean so much to us. If they didn't, we wouldn't be this hurt by it. I think all of us on this forum are true pet-lovers and think of them as family members, and we all know it wasn't "just an animal" that passed, but a cherished member of the family, sometimes even more bonded to us than human family.  So we definitely all know how you are feeling. 
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Parkersmum
Thank you Stealthcat. You are absolutely right. There's no way I would erase his memory to stop the grief. He brought so much happiness and joy to my life. My husband's aunt said the other day that she found it "shocking" that I compared losing Parker to losing my mum and she just couldn't understand why I was this upset. I totally understand that though, to some people they are just animals. To me he was my family, my baby, my everything. He helped me thru so many tough times. He never judged me or argued with me and gave me unconditional love every single day. I'm so glad he chose me to be his mummy. Thank you for your kind words xxx
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Stealthcat
Oh I have definitely found those people too - ones that don't understand the level of our grief.  I told someone I feel almost worse now than I did a year ago when my grandfather passed away. (He adopted me when I was 13, so he was basically my dad.)  But our furry family members are in our lives every day. We build a routine around them. They depend on us, and we depend on them for comfort, support, etc.  And losing that feels like losing a sense of self and our home. Not something that is easy to recover from, forget about "just getting over it" like some think.  Fortunately, I know we never have to worry about that on this forum.  😉  I am sorry about the circumstances that brought us here, but it does help to know others are in the same boat. 
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Parkersmum
Absolutely. It's lovely to be surrounded by like minded people xxx
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Living_with_tragedy
Hello Parkersmum,

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I understand your loss of a good friend and family member.  The tears can fill buckets.  I miss my Parker (Little Peanut), too.  He was the sunshine in our home.  His love fills the air that I breathe.

Wishing you peace and comfort.

~ Parker's Mom




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Parkersmum
Thank you Parker's Mom. Our boys were very special ..must be something in the name 💙💙 the world feels empty and lifeless without him here. I know it will get easier but right now there is a huge void. Lots of love to you and yr family x
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pannklaus
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of another Parker.  I have been following the messages about the first Parker (Little Peanut) for a long time.  Now there are two special babies who are gone and two empty houses where a Parker will not suddenly appear again.  Your grief and all of your feelings are a part of the process we all go through  when we lose these precious fur babies who we loved so much.  I am very sorry that you are having to join this "club" which no one wants to join.
Patsy
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Parkersmum
Thank you so much for your kind words. There is definitely a Parker shaped hole in my life now. I'm going to start watching my friends puppy for her one day a week from next week. I'm hoping that helps a bit. Thanks again xxx
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