One of my cats had mammary glands cancer, it was removed and surgery was successful with no signs of spreading.

Two days ago a new lump was found in the lymph nodes under her armpit . We took her to the vet yesterday, and I had a panic attack while listening to the vet and almost fainted. Had to go to the bathroom to puke and calm down.

I probably suffer PTSD from the last pet I lost, it was horrible experience with my family members making things worse for me by pushing me to go get a job and bothering me about stuff while my pet was very ill. On the day of cremation they even decided it’s a great idea to bother me about other stuff knowing exactly that I’m rushing to the cremation center at that time. I didn’t get a chance to go through the full grieving process because I went straight to trying to get some things done so I can ignore my family all together. Which ended up costing whatever sanity was left in me.

Unfortunately I have to take her to a far away specialist on Sunday with no one to go with me. And I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t have enough money for treatment. And I’m scared of caregivers syndrome. Even more scared of another panic attack.

All I wish for now is one more year with her so I can give her more cuddles and a treatment plan that we can afford. And a healthy way to deal with my emotions. This time I made sure not to let my family know, but the memories still haunt me. It my sound harsh to cut off family over a pet but this isn’t the only harm they did to me that was the last straw.

Is there anything that can help me feel better through this process? My cat is still happy and unaware of what’s going on. Or maybe she does because she’s extra cuddly now but that might just be the weather. I know my emotions will effect my cat so it’s important that I don’t let my anxiety take over. Sometimes I feel like what we pet owners need is not only medical support for our pets but also emotional support for us too.

Sorry if this post is more about me than my cat, I’m just going through a lot of personal mental issues and need to talk about this so I can continue to support my cat. I still have other cats too and I don’t want to repeat this every time one gets ill.
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I’m so sorry with what you’re going through. I understand how scary it is to go somewhere unfamiliar- especially for something like this. I had to do that this year with my dog. I don’t have much advice but I would say do what you think is best for your cat, although I’m sure you will. No matter what you choose though, it’s obvious you love her, so please know that she knows nothing but love from you.

I noticed you mention money. Looking back, I wish I Swallowed my pride and looked for donations. There are many sites where they offer to help pay for vet bills when owners can not afford it. It may be something to consider.
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