BA35
It's been exactly a week today since we had to put our beloved cat to sleep, he was dying from Leukemia. My grief is indescribable. But my grief also comes with a painful last memory and a question for the community.

He was put to sleep at home, taking him to the vet was not something he was fond of to say the least. During the procedure, the vet first administered a sedative to relax him before the lethal shot. She grabbed the back of his neck, commonly referred to as "scruffing", to place the needle behind his head, and he let out a noise comparable to a scream. His skin, including his face, was stretched. He was a cat who didn't like to be handled and would fight when forced to take oral medication, but this was something we hadn't heard before.

Someone please help me, I can't stand the thought of my beloved cats last conscious moment being that of pain. Has anyone had or heard of a similar experience?
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Marlene8817
Hi BA35, I'm so sorry for your loss..I know how it feels to loose a pet to cancer. I lost my Molly dog 10 weeks ago and the pain is horrific, I have never felt such pain in my life.  I too brought in a vet to the house, the vet for her also was a terrible place as we spent alot of time there. I wanted her to be comfortable and safe at home.  She had the same reaction as yours, she let out a scream and my heart just broke..I felt the same way, that her last breath was her in pain, I was hysterical.  I think they do feel the needle going in.  Our poor babies..how old was yours?  

Sending hugs to you..
Marlene
Marlene Weber
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BA35
Thank you so much for replying and my heart goes out to you on your loss as well.

Our cat was 11 or 12 years old, just showed up on the back porch and we fell in love with him.
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Marlene8817
Oh he found you, I love that 😉  You gave him a wonderful life, feel blessed you found each other and were able to love him so deeply.  Molly found me too at 4 mos old, she was 13.5, long time together, she was my everything.  I'm having a very hard time, I feel broken.  
Marlene Weber
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear BA35,

I am so sorry for your recent loss and for what your cat had to experience. My cat Marmalade was put to sleep around 6 months ago. He was also believed to be around 11 or 12 years old. He too did not like to be handled, examined, tested, medicated etc. I would have to wrap him in a blanket, like a pig in a blanket and then prod his mouth with a syringe to administer medicine to him through his mouth. He would open his mouth and then scream loudly from not wanting that damn medicine!! But then when I was done, he would shake it off and then wander over to me on our couch and all was forgiven and he would purr and purr. My point? He didn't hold a grudge and instantly forgave me, he was just raising some Hell and making it known that he was NOT pleased.

Your cat, as you well know, did not know that he was about to be put to sleep. There was no way for him to know that. At the end, he was just making it known loud and clear at the time, that he did not want anyone handling him and administering him medication. And he was also obviously not feeling well at the time, so that probably contributed to the different sound you heard from him.

They say by showing our beloved's mercy, we then "agree to take on and absorb their pain and suffering onto ourselves", and that is what you are experiencing now. We process that pain and suffering through our grief. And regret, and 2nd guessing is part of the grieving process. You showed your boy mercy when the time came. What he may have had to endure had you not, could have been much, much worse. 

My sincere condolences,
James
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BA35
Thank you so much, James, for the very thoughtful response. It brings me comfort knowing there are others who have similar experiences, but I also have a heavy heart for your loss.
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SharonsPie
My cat's last moments were not the way I would have liked. He was having horrible seizures, so we went to the vet. the vet said he had a large mass in his abdomen, that surgery was not an option. I agreed to euthanize him on the exam table. When the needle for sedation went in he cried out. Then the vet left the room, and my poor cat had another seizure so I took him in my arms to comfort him. Anyway, after that he was given a final needle he didn't feel. I was upset he went through this at the end. But it was only a few moments, and his life as a whole was beautiful.
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BlairS
I'm very sorry for your loss BA35.  I too had the vet come to my house, knowing how much my girl hated the car rides I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible at the end.  I can't say it was perfectly peaceful.  She had been throwing up all day and after the initial shot she did so again in my arms before she passed out.  I wish it had been different, but even if it was nothing would change the fact it is the most horrible thing I have ever had to do in my life. I know you loved each other and your friend is no longer in pain. When my time comes if it is as quick as that I'll consider myself lucky.  You did the best you could and nobody could expect anything more.  In time you will come to accept that.  Sending best wishes for peace and healing.

Blair
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Yes, thank you Sharon. You made an important observation which is key for all of us to remember here on the forum: The last moments of our beloved's lives can not measure up to the rest of their lifetimes. They had countless hours, even if young when they passed, of love, adoration, affection, caring, comfort, safety and feeling like they were cherished. And often part of a family. Those last sad moments can simply not measure up in comparison to all the good and beauty in their lives.

Well said.

Thank you Blair for your supportive and heartfelt comment too.

All best,
James
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BA35
Just checking back in to say thank you to everyone for their response and condolences. I am eternally grateful. May peace be with all of you as well.
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