gonegirl
On Friday I had to make the decision to let my dog Harley go. She was about 16, my son & I adopted her when she was about a year old. The pain and emptiness I feel are nearly unbearable. I’m so sad & tearful. And have such horrendous guilt. Did I do enough? Could any treatments have made her better? About a week ago she started to hack like something was stuck in her throat and she was trying to get it up. She has had bad teeth for as long as we had her so I thought maybe she couldn’t chew her dry food well enough. I got her some canned food & the first night she went after it. The next day she wouldn’t touch it. So we made her some chicken with broth. She ate some but not enthusiastically. Then she started to refuse her morning treats which was totally abnormal, she loved her treats. She became very lethargic, she’d walk to the kitchen and just lay down in her tracks. She didn’t have the energy to get back to the living room. She refused to eat anything. She looked at me with such sadness and her spirit was gone from her eyes. So my son & I took her in to the vet Friday afternoon. I explained to her the problems, I knew treatment could just prolong suffering. I coukdn’t watch her starve to death. Now I feel such guilt, sadness and emptiness. I know it’s only been 2 days but I never expected this amount of pain. I miss her so very much. She slept next to me, she cuddled next to me on the couch, she followed me everywhere in this house. Being here without her is so difficult. Seeing her empty bed and the cold empty spot on the couch. So many tears.
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JayTee
From beginning to end your post about Harley could have been written by me.  Yesterday I made the impossible decision to saying good-bye to my 15-year-old cat GG.  The stories are almost identical, and yes, the self-doubt, pain and emptiness are nearly unbearable.  I am new to this forum and hope we both find the comfort and support we need.
JayTee
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Chinadoll
Gonegirl and Jaytee, I'm so glad you have found this site. I've been here for nine months after the loss of my two dogs this year and I can't tell you how much it has helped me. So many wonderful people here who are going through the same thing and can offer some helpful advice. This grief of losing our dear sweet friends is much more than any of us expected. It is a long journey of grief and pain, but with little steps you will get better. There are no rules for how long or how we should grieve, do as you feel, cry, rant, whatever, it will help in the long run. This bond is so special and some people do not understand what we are going through, but the people here do. Blessings to both of you.
Charlie
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gizmomybaby
So sorry gonegirl &jay Tee for your loses of your baby's , mu boy gizmo passed nearly 11 weeks ago x its a crushing pain plz stay on here the forum is a great support to all xx
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gonegirl
Thanks to all for your kind comments. Jaytee I am so sorry for your loss and hope you do find comfort & support from this site. For me, for some reason today was exceptionally sad. Maybe because Harley wasn’t following me around while I did the laundry, maybe because she wasn’t next to me when I reached over to pet her like I’ve done millions of times throughout the years. Reading through some of the stories on here makes me feel not so alone in my pain. Losing my grandfather several years ago didn’t hurt this much. Just have to take one day at a time.
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