I am also sorry for your loss of Espresso, I know how you feel with the guilt and grief. You did alot to take good care of your kitty and have nothing to feel guilty for. I know as I say this its part of the grief, if only's have been making me misarable off and on, Also I wish I had done this... or that... People tell me I have nothing to feel guilty for... I also dont feel like doing anything and feel sick to my stomack. Please hang in there, we hurt because we loved them so much and want them to stay with us forever. I think I will try the chat soon.