My sweet 15.5 year old cat passed away suddenly this week. I was out running senseless errands and came home to find him. Here's the thing: I left without saying goodbye to him and then I had an hour after lunch when I could have come home - I thought about coming home hard, for no reason other than to be there for a few minutes - but I didn't. I just sat in my car and read a book. I keep thinking that I was supposed to come home to say goodbye to him, that the pulling I felt was him trying to tell me to come home, and I didn't do it. I know it's okay to be sad, but not a minute has passed that I haven't been so regretful, so angry, so embarrassed that I didn't listen to intuition. I don't know how to get past this. If I hadn't even thought about coming home, I would think he had just passed and there was nothing for me to do, but I feel like I was given a chance and I ignored it. How long was he waiting for me and I didn't come to see him? I hate grieving this hard. It's unbearable.
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oh dear...I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  Please don't beat yourself up over your baby's passing.  It sounds like he did not suffer.... guilt is one of the main things we go through while dealing with grief.  Only with time will that heal.  It's okay to be sad...and go through all of those thoughts of "would have" & " should have".  It's perfectly normal.  Just remember the good times and all the love you gave your baby! 

Sending *HUGS*  your way...
I will always love furry son Raptor and my furry baby Zeus.  How wise you both taught me so much.  I learned that it was I, who needed you....
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Aileen my friend, please do not feel guilty, your baby knew how much you loved him and he won't want you to suffer or feel guilt in any way, he did not suffer, in his little heart he went to sleep as normal only this time he woke up over the Rainbow Bridge, he will be playing with all his new friends watching you sending you kisses and strength to help you understand that he is fine, I understand the pain you feel, but please try and remember all the happiness and love you gave him, with your love and your care he knew what it easy like to feel real love, I pray you will find peace, your baby boy is happy and he knows you love him. Lots of love to you, be safe and take care xx
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So sorry for your loss.  May you find some comfort.  I too have felt guilty and that eats you up.  I am trying hard to understand that maybe there is a reason we don't understand.  I had my beautiful Dali 12 1/2 years.  She had been to the vet the day before, got a shot and a ten day prescription.  She seemed better and I didn't pay enough attention, thought maybe she needed to rest.  I never got to say goodbye as she died suddenly the next morning.  I feel sooooo guilty for not taking her to the vet sooner (would it have mattered, Ill never know) and for not being there holding her and recognizing what was going to happen.  I try to accept, but there are no answers.  Your baby lived a good long life and you loved him and he knew it, that was what mattered.  I am going to release balloons to say "so long" to my Dali tomorrow, NOT goodbye.  I will see her again, as you will see your baby.

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

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