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Chucksmom
“Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is no different from taking off a suit of clothes one no longer needs. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (Life Lessons, 2000)
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My_Goliath
Oh my I just lost my 15 year old Bassett on the 26th to the same horrible thing. I had to get him hour and half away. 90% of his stomach was deteriorated. As they rushed him to surgery that was the last I saw him. Such horrific guilt. He could barely bark and he thought he had to to let me know something was wrong. Those eyes looking at me in such pain. Only pain he ever knew and I couldn't be with him. I pray God comforted him and he knew I was there. Because him being in icu they told me I couldn't go bk right before surgery. I'm so sorry. I understand. It's like your on the outside looking in. Should I have did this different or that. I don't know how I'll ever forget his last few hours and me not there. My heart is broken in about a million pieces. My best friend and soul mate and I feel I let him down.
Pamela Ailey
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Chucksmom
I am so so sorry to hear that. It is a horrible, traumatic, fast acting devastating thing and there are no words to explain the shock you feel. One minute everything is fine and the next time is up. I have tortured myself with those same questions: what could I have done differently? But there are no answers, because bloat is such a cruel and unforgiving thing. It happened to my poor Chuck in the middle of the night (when he would wake me up every night at that same time to go out, so I had no idea anything was out of the ordinary, until I did, which made our half hour drive to the emergency vet at 3 AM a helpless feeling). You feel totally helpless. Just try, and I know it's so hard, to be gentle with yourself and remember that there really are forces at work in this universe that are beyond our control. It sucks and it's not fair, and I'm angry that I didn't get to spend more time with him on this earth, but I loved him so deeply and I know he had that same pure unconditional love for me while we did get our life together, and that is a greater gift than I have ever had in this lifetime. It's so hard to remember that when the pain is so raw and the wound so fresh, but I find the more I talk through the grief, the greater comfort I find in the memories I have. I hope you find peace, along with the rest of us.
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Chucksmom
It hurts so much that no matter how much I try to reason my way through this, inside I am screaming, writhing in the pain. I am so mad that this happened to the greatest soul I know. I know I need to move through the hurt, but I am just resisting so hard to face that this is real. This is forever. He's really not coming back. And I am so mad. I am so hurt and so lonely without my best friend.
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Beaglemomma
I can sure chime in on this topic.  8 weeks today and I am still miserable.  It has been a BAD day.  I wake up with what seems like a black cloud hanging over me.  Grief is something you can't rush, no matter how much we ALL want to do just that.  I ache to feel my little Beagles soft ears and little butt at bed time.  I always gave her cute little butt a rub and kissed her before turning out the light and now there is nothing to cuddle up to.  Feeling so lost without her.

No baby yet for you???  I know you can't believe this now and I don't mean to imply that one love can replace another one, but with a new baby you will be so busy/tired/IN LOVE that you can't imagine.  I hope you have an easy delivery and know that new baby will prove you can love again.

Keep us posted.  Want to know how you do----see pictures of your new little one.  Take good care of yourself.
janice
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My_Goliath
I totally understand. 1 week tomorrow for me. I dread that. I've broke down everyday. I've had to go in the church for prayer. I don't even know if it's the sudden loss or that he suffered and died in the arms of strangers. We had a special bond no one would understand. He never knew any pain in all his 15 years, cried when he got his toe nails clipped. Got car sick but would rather travel with me then stay without me. I loved him so. So innocent and faithful. My house will never be the same. My Bassett, my sweet boy, my best friend.
Pamela Ailey
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