Last year I found my way here after losing my little Mama, Shania in post op. Well, her mate and my little baby boy, Reddi was put to rest lastnight. He has been battling a rare form of cancer for about a year. I had his right eye removed about 6months ago. After consulting my local vet and going to KST oncologist, I knew the surgery was about quality of life. Not a cure.

The surgery took alot out of him. But being my best buddy and the alpha I know, he came back stronger.

2 months ago, I noticed a lump forming next to the removed eye portion of his face. These past few months have been tough, but prepared me for the eventual. The tumor over the past 2 weeks blew up. It was growing to a Little bigger than golf ball size. And I knew things were moving faster. Thursday night after giving him a treatment, I noticed he was struggling to breathe.

Friday night, I thought he might die in his sleep, from a form of suffocation. The tumor was moving down by his throat. He was eating and drinking, but still struggling with breathing. I called the vet Saturday morning.

After 13+ years, I made a promise to him long ago I wouldn't let him suffer. He wasn't sleeping well. Alot of dry hacking. And I found late lastnight, he had started to throw up the wet food I was feeding him.

Lastnight at 5:45 pm my son, best friend and soul mate passed away. I had my vet come over and sedate him, before giving him the last shot. He is now with the local crematorium, and will be home next week.

My emotional response is all over the place. From guilt to second guessing to outright trust I did the right thing. The vet reassured me, that with the tumor expanding/growing at a accelerated pace, he was entering the beginning of the end. That his breathing was and would take a toll. The possibility of suffocation terrified me.

He was my everything. And my soul hurts.
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You did the right thing. You would not have wanted to end your baby's life by having something awful happen.
You gave your baby peace. They give us love. We need to give them the gift of a peaceful death if we have that option.
In time you will realize the love you gave back
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Oh your sweet precious Reddi. Please take some solace in that Shania warmly greeted Reddi in the great beyond and that they're together, now. Wherever Reddi is, he's complete, healthy, and at peace, and you helped him get there with dignity and with love from his beloved.
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