Just about one year ago my baby girl, Fizzgig, moved on. It had been a while since I cried about it, but I had a dream about her last night. The dream was off, but once I woke up a flood of memories came pouring in.
It made me think of our first day together. We had the house to ourselves and we played and played for hours. Then she got sleepy and took a nap, so I joined her on the floor. I woke up an hour later to my new puppy gently licking my face to wake me up.
It's times like these I wish I had spent more time with her. It's hard to remember to cherish something, especially when you're a child. If I could go back, I would do so many things differently. But I think she understood that even though I was a kid, and I didn't know how to express my love, that I loved her anyway. In the end, she chose to spend her last moments cuddling on my bed rather than anything else.
I have wonderful friends and family who will share and laugh at memories with me. But sometimes when the powerful memories hit, I break. It's gotten easier over time, but I still miss her so much.
I like to think that that dream meant she was visiting me, telling me she was healthy and happy.