Monkey
It has been 13 months since I had to make the decision to euthanize my beloved cat who had kidney failure, and I guess I am still not healed.  I thought I was on the road to recovery and have begun looking at cats for a month now, but I feel nothing with any of them, no matter how beautiful or friendly they are to me.  When adopting cats in the past, I never had to look for very long and always knew when I had found "the cat" pretty much instantly.  My girlfriend says I am being too picky, and my husband cannot understand why it is taking me so long to find "the cat".  They know me at the shelter I visit, and they are always asking "so did you find a cat you want to adopt today?"  Am I just not ready to adopt yet?  I am getting very frustrated with myself.  Has anyone else experienced this and how did you overcome this?

Monkey's Mom
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camunki
hi, i just think you are not ready to adopt, maybe someday in time you will be.........again for grieving there is not set time for anything, we all do different things in different times of the grieving process. I lost 2 pets last year one named Daizy on Jan 2 2015 and i could not even think of adopting, did not even cross my mind and the first year was truly the hardest........until, my other dog Munki, transitioned (12/3/15) also the same year, yet 11 months later................so losing 2 dogs in one year really hit me hard.......I did eventually adopt, i was ready.......but that is just me, losing 2 pets in one year took a huge toll of my heart and I also had another pet at home who misses her siblings........as my grieving path happened (with my Daizy passing on).....adoption wasn't even thought of..........it wasn't until i lost my beloved Munki that same year..........then i just knew in my heart, I wanted to adopt...which i did a couple of months later. The pet Rosalyn who I adopted will never ever replace the love i have for Daizy and Munki....it only expands my heart and gives me a good feeling knowing i saved this girl, or did she save me??

With that being said, i think when YOU are ready,  you will know it........i've read that some people adopt within a week, within a month, a few months and some not even til after a year and some never......there is no right or wrong, its what you feel in your heart and what you would want to do.

Cam


 
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elliemeewiz
Hi Cheryl, I'm so sorry for you loss and I'm sorry you're still struggling.. I don't think we ever stop missing them. I think when you are ready you will find the cat.. maybe try some fostering or just volunteer at the shelter until you find one you feel you will bond with. 
My beloved sweet Tess August 1999 - February 21 2001
My beloved loyal Byron March 1998 - April 28 2008
My sweet beloved girlie Angelina April 2001- September 2012
Me & my sweet beloved Wizberry forever 1998- April 21, 2016
My sweet beloved Snow Goddess Sybil girlie April 2001- May 11,2018
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_DeborahN1104
So Sorry about your loss. There is no guidebook or timeline on any of this, so just listen to  your heart and you will know. 
Volunteering at a shelter may help you start to heal and open up your heart once again to let a new furbaby in.
Many Blessings to you.

Shelby's Mommy-Deborah
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Bellamom
I am so sorry for your loss! I did not know such pain existed until I list my Bella girl 2 days ago. I don't know how to deal with this and sharing with others helps so much.
Marina landa
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chicagocats
I'm sorry for your loss and the pain you are still experiencing. I agree with Ellie  - maybe fostering or volunteering would be a better option. Also if you have a pet grief group in your area, that would be an option too. I go to a group that meets twice a month and it has been very helpful for me.

My Carma passed a month and a half ago and I am not ready to adopt either, but have been volunteering and am going to start fostering. The counselor that runs the pet loss group said that some people can't imagine adopting again after losing their beloved animals and other people can't imagine getting through the painful loss without the help of an animal. Everyone heals differently so do what's best for you. If adoption isn't right for you at the moment, that's okay.
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Monkey
Thanks everyone for responding back.  I actually have been volunteering since last November 2015, and I love it.  I wish it paid enough to live on as I could work there all the time.  This past week I did see a really cute 6-month old kitten; however, she was sneezing, and I asked them to have her checked out by the veterinarian in case she has an upper respiratory infection.  I am concerned for her safety as both myself and spouse work long hours and have not had kittens before, only cats 10 months and up, and this kitten would be by itself, no other pets.  I also am not sure she is the one but is close.  I did buy all new kitty dishes, litter box, cat litter, toys, scratching post and a bag of dry food so I will be prepared when I find "the one".
Monkey's Mom
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Scottmisseslittleboy
"I feel ya" as they say. I just now realized my year "date" is a week away. I choose not to say anniversary as it's connotation usually is celebratory, and it.was one of the most terrible days of almost a half a century.
I have still very often been on the verge of a tearful meltdown of grieving. I miss my dear little 30 pound fur baby. Words cannot adequately describe how much.

There's no "typical average" grieving period. You take as much time as you need. That's the only thing that is"normal"
People around you need to respect and honor your feelings.Some of us.realize and recognize the very present soul and intelligence within our beloved fur babies.
Others simply think.it's a "critter". Not so.

Be gentle with your self. When the time is right you will know.
God bless you!
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Monkey
Thank you Scottmisseslittleboy and everyone else.  It is nice to know others feel the same way I do.  I sometimes feel like I am in a world of my own as no one seems to understand my feelings.  Today marks the date that 11 years ago we brought Gracie home to live with us, yet no one else in my family remembers the date or even cares.  I haven't stopped crying all day.  Can't wait for this day to be over.  It is so hard going through this myself with no support from family, but at least I have my Rainbow Bridge friends.
Monkey's Mom
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