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heartsick

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Reply with quote  #241 
JP I can't thank you enough for all of the very kind words that
have helped me this last week and now through this Monday which was
Bear's funeral. You and Miles have been in my heart.

With Love to You and Miles

from Susan and Bear
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julieandfurbabies

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Reply with quote  #242 
JP I know its around the time you lost your sweet Miles too. I have been thinking about you
I second what Susan says..thank you for your kind words too

Miles will live forever in your heart

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heartsick

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Reply with quote  #243 
JP I know Miles' Day is coming on the 16th -
Please know both you and Miles are in
my Heart and Thoughts.

Susan
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jphovercraft

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Reply with quote  #244 
104 Mondays ago, I laid my Miles the Wonder Cat to rest under his tree ... one of the hardest days of my life ... today I laid flowers on his grave as I've been doing every Monday since. Today it was the first of the spring flowers ... lilacs and daffodils. Today was filled with a kind of low grade depression ... nothing dramatic ... I'm feeling especially close to him today, but sad that I'm not holding him ... and a little dazed that it's been almost two years ... where has it gone? How did I get this far without him?

There's three answers to that question ... one is, of course, my extended on-line family here. Without you, I'm not certain I would still be here myself.  Thank you all ...

Answer two is Max and Jorja, the new kitties in my life. I was looking wistfully out the window at Miles' grave about an hour ago when they came racing across the lawn, Jorja in hot pursuit of Max. Less than a minute later, they came racing back the other way, Max chasing Jorja this time. How could I not laugh? (The picture of them is a new one from earlier this week.)

http://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/file?id=1550656

Finally, Miles himself has made it plain that he's still looking out for me. We will never be truly separated ... I KNOW this now ... and that helps so much.


http://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/file?id=1550648


On the calender date, the 16th, I'll be placing the marker I finally got for him. Right now, I'm off to the Candle Ceremony.

Attached Images
jpeg angel_cats_crop.JPG (78.46 KB, 7 views)
jpeg Max_and_Jorja_spring_2013.JPG (203.48 KB, 7 views)


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"There is no such thing as 'just a cat'." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me." - Kermit the Frog

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." - Gandalf

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Helen

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Reply with quote  #245 
Please know, JP, that you and Miles have been in my thoughts, and heart, since the anniversaries for our special little family group started to roll around for yet another year. On each of these grief-filled anniversaries we have felt each others pain and have come together, as a family group, to support each of our grieving furparent. And we will do so for as long as needed. For me that will be for the rest of my days.

Yes, it is hard to believe that our babies have been gone for two years, and even harder to understand how we have made it through without them, but I believe God understands our suffering and when He sees our grief becoming impossible to bear, He wraps us in His arms for comfort and reassurance.

For me the firm belief that I will see Tinkle again in Heaven is probably the chief reason I am still here as many times, over the past two years, I have wished God had taken me too. It would have been so much easier. But at my lowest ebb, when I have felt like giving up completely, I have felt an inexplicable rush of peace and love and I know my baby is still watching over me. She has not really gone away at all. None of them have.

Now as we prepare for Miles' second anniversary at Rainbow Bridge on the 16th May, I want you to know that our hearts will be with you & Miles on that day, my friend, and on every day thereafter.

God bless you JP,

Helen (Tinkle's Mummy).

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Please visit Tinkle at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TINKL001/resident.htm

For all the joy you've given me,
For the glory days gone by,
My best and final gift, my baby,
I give you wings to fly.
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judylinn

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Reply with quote  #246 
Sending you blessings....I remember 2 years for me, was still very difficult, and I'm at 2 1/2 and lots of days I'm okay, and some that are not. I guess that's what love is all about. Prayers sent your way...Judylinn
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heartsick

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Reply with quote  #247 
Miles is watching over you and Max and Jorja too.
I truly think that Miles led Max and Jorja to you.

Somehow it was planned that 11 months before Bear left me the babies' Mama was brought
to me with the babies on board - a reason for everything.

Attached Images
jpeg Miles_with_Music_Frame.jpg (376.37 KB, 6 views)
jpeg Jorja_and_Max.jpg (10.63 KB, 6 views)

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jphovercraft

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Reply with quote  #248 
Today is a "damp' day ... I was watching "Lord of the Rings" last night ... the scene where Bilbo, Frodo and Gandalf are boarding the ship to leave Middle Earth forever ... and Gandalf says "I will not say: 'do not weep'; for not all tears are an evil." That really hit home this time ... I've added that to my sig ... and I seem to be taking his advice today.

Thank you, Helen, Susan, Judylinn ... I've said it before ... it's important to me that someone besides myself knows about Miles ... thank you for remembering ... I love 'musical Miles'!

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"There is no such thing as 'just a cat'." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me." - Kermit the Frog

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." - Gandalf
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Jimbo106

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Reply with quote  #249 

I remember reading your first post the 13th, and thinking "I really hope he's wrong". I had the "call" just 2 weeks before and really didn't want anyone else, EVER, to get one. When the worst came, I understood. Now, 2 years on, I still get it. In my case, there's a purring kitty in my lap, who's getting the top of her head wet while I type. It's hard to come back, but sometimes, like tonight.....

Wishing you peace my friend.

Jim and the girls


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jphovercraft

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Reply with quote  #250 
Thank you for being there, Jim ... for reeling me into this place ... for bringing me together with all these people ... for sharing Jamie with us ... for being here today ...


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"There is no such thing as 'just a cat'." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me." - Kermit the Frog

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." - Gandalf
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jphovercraft

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Reply with quote  #251 
It's done ... the marker is in place as are two white roses, the sun has gone down on a beautiful, warm, sunny day, dinner is through (salmon, quite by happy coincidence, Miles' favourite thing for me to have for supper as he always got a piece ... I have to save two pieces now!), and it's time to write. I'm feeling good. When I finished putting his stone in place, I stopped and stood and imagined all my friends from the Rainbows Bridge site were standing there with me ... along with all the furfriends that I've come to know through your writings ... and I just let the warm wash over me ... later there will be a toast and a candle ...

Yesterday was much worse ... anticipating the worst, I guess ... uncertain how I would react to this 2nd anniversary. The day was unhappy and "leaky" and that evening I found myself in the old "if I'm asleep, I'm not hurting" state. I fell asleep right after supper and slept through to morning.
 
What's changed in the last year? Thanks to the event one year ago today, I have no doubt that he's still around in some way ... he made that perfectly obvious. This means that all life in general must continue in some form after what we call death, a huge revelation for me, and a great comfort ... thank you for that grand moment, Miles. This doesn't mean I don't miss having him right here, but it's so much easier to deal with now. As Jim said, "I can live like this."
 
Miles continues to be a positive force in my life. After all, he changed me from someone who just liked cats into a real cat person. Given enough money, I could be the "crazy cat man" ... keeping dozens of them happy, healthy and safe. But since I'm behaving realistically, because of him, I've given two more their forever home, the most I can realistically and responsibly support; I now try to support, as much as I can, some non-local charities and individuals that care for animals; the same for four different animal welfare organizations locally ... he's opened my heart ... the heart I was certain, at one point, would never mend ... he's helped me to learn (STILL teaching me) that I can make some small difference, and that, in conjunction with others, WE can make a BIG difference ... achieving that goal of "keeping dozens of them happy, healthy and safe" ... I guess I'd like to become the person he always thought I was ...
 
Once again, thank you ... everyone here ... the little family that came into being during our first year here ... the newcomers ... I would not have reached this place where I can actually live and breathe and smile again without you ...
 
... and of course ... thank you, Miles ... for adopting me, for loving me, for teaching me, for comforting me, for making me laugh and smile and love ... even for making me weep ... thank you for leaving me with a BIGGER heart than I had when we met ... because it's bigger, it can love more, care more, laugh more, even hurt more, but I like the change. In the meantime, I'll continue to work on being someone you'll be proud to call your "dad".

Next, a toast to the "best cat in the world" (for me) and a candle. Good night everyone ... wishing you all peace of mind.

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"There is no such thing as 'just a cat'." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me." - Kermit the Frog

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." - Gandalf
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heartsick

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Reply with quote  #252 
Dear JP- For you and Miles - a story I have not told yet ( I know- difficult to believe but...)

Bear always walked right beside me and never pulled on our walks or if we went anywhere. We were on the ay home from the vet one day and we always stopped at an independent pet supply and toy store on the way home so Bear could pick out whatever he wanted. On this day Bear would not go inside with me. He began to pull me behind the store. It was so out of character I gave him the lead and followed. We walked across the grass to the edge of a small stand of trees and Bear bent down and kissed and kissed the tiniest of kittens whose eyes must have just opened and his ears were still curled. I ben and picked up Bear's little one and we went into the store. I bought every supply that could possibly be needed from Kitten replacement formula and bottles to Everything else. We were still very close to the vet's office. Since we had just left they were a little surprised when I called and sad please wait - don't close I am on my way back. Bear jumped into his car seat and this tiny little one curled into my lap - now while we had been there my vet had just told me that she had lost her oldest cat ( an orange boy 21 years old) about 10 weeks earlier. As soon as Bear and I walked into the vet with a tiny kitten who cried only loud enough for Bear to hear, everyone went nuts as he was so tiny and cute. He is more silver than grey and his tail is pretty much striped now but 6 years ago he was just a tiny baby. He sleeps with my vet and weighs 10 pounds now. He is on the small side as he was not with his kitty Mama very long. My vet looked down at him as she kissed his tiny head and said, "So someone told you I had a vacancy did they?"   I know I took the long way around to tell this story - She named him Gandalf because of the same quote. However it took a couple of weeks for him to get his name as it is never easy to definitively tell the gender of kittens that tiny.

For You and for Miles - with love for the little orange boy of My heart!

Susan

Attached Images
jpeg Gandalf_2_weeks_old_-_does_not_like_the_scale!.jpg (904.54 KB, 5 views)
jpeg Gandalf_-_just_found_2_weeks_old.jpg (548.62 KB, 5 views)
jpeg Gandalf_4_weeks_old.jpg (465.73 KB, 5 views)
jpeg Gandalf_about_5_weeks_old.jpg (658.20 KB, 5 views)
jpeg Gandalf_and_Bear_play_Hide_and_Seek.jpg (507.92 KB, 4 views)

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jphovercraft

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Reply with quote  #253 
Oh my! What a cutie! Gandalf the Grey! I do love that quote ... that whole scene just sets me right off these days ... in a good way. Bear is my hero! The kitten rescue dog ... that's so great. As long as I have the glass here, a toast to Bear, "the best dog in the world", for you ... and maybe me too!

Much love to you both ...

__________________
"There is no such thing as 'just a cat'." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me." - Kermit the Frog

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." - Gandalf
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jphovercraft

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Reply with quote  #254 
Here's how the new marker looked last night.

http://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/file?id=1553989

This is a gardening weekend coming up, so it will probably look even more disheveled when I'm done with that ... our lawn has all these tiny blue flowers that are the first things to come up in spring. I don't know what they are, but they have a little bulb and are perennial. I'm going to dig up as many as I can and put them all over that area and then do the grass seeding. With any luck, and if the current gang leaves it alone ... they like to dig where I've been digging ... it should look absolutely beautiful next spring when they all bloom. Something to actually look forward to ... but the marker is a really good thing for now ... proper honours for my boy ...

Attached Images
jpeg Miles_Marker_roses_small.jpg (803.88 KB, 5 views)


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"There is no such thing as 'just a cat'." - Robert A. Heinlein

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me." - Kermit the Frog

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." - Gandalf

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Jimbo106

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Reply with quote  #255 
It looks just right. : )  Really like the marker!

Jim

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