One week ago today I put my beautiful, sweet, 10 year old cat, Pie down.  Only six weeks before she was diagnosed with two kinds of cancer.  Last week I sat in this exact spot with Pie in the room across from me. She was suffering though. I knew she wasn't doing well. I'm at peace knowing she is no longer in pain, but my own heart just feels completely broken.

Waking up in the mornings hurts the most, but then again so does coming home to an empty house, walking around my apt. or even finding her fur on an old sweater. Just when I think I'm feeling ok, the thought pops into my head that she isn't coming back and I get this stabbing feeling in my chest.  I have yet to remove her litter box from the house or unplug her heated pad. I'm just not there yet.

I can't remember my life before Pie, so filling in this empty hole of what is left behind seems unbearable most times. I know everyone keeps telling me it will get easier with time, but it's as though I'm afraid that I'll either be stuck in grief forever, or that if I stop thinking about her, then that doesn't feel right either.

I'm glad I found a place where I can share these thoughts and feelings. I've had some amazingly supportive people over the last few weeks and others that just don't seem to get it at all.  Your thoughts on healing and grieving are so much appreciated.
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Dear Pie's Mummy/Daddy:

I am sorry for your loss of your beloved Pie, my prayers and thoughts are with you at this time of loss.

Your feelings of loss and emptiness are normal parts of the grief process.  Our fur babies are part of our families and the loss of one of them, especially the ones we had a special bond with, can be as painful or sometime more painful than the loss of a human family member.  

Unfortunately, the grief from the loss of a fur baby is not always supported as it should be.  You are lucky to have supportive people around you but there will be people who do not love fur babies the way we do may say things like "it was just a dog/cat or why don't you just get another cat/dog".  I don't think these folks mean to be intentionally hurtful, they just don't understand.  This forum is a safe and good place to talk about your grief because we all understand and are going through or have been through our own loss and grief. 

It is said "we cannot walk around grief, we have to walk through it" which I thinks means we will cry and feel our loss for as long as we need to, you will need to take as long as you need to grieve your loss.  Time does not heal but it does helps us process the shock of our loss and the immediate disbelief.  You will always miss Pie and often feel sadness, but over time, the grief you have now will be replaced in your heart with the happy and loving memories of Pie.

Pie will always be with you, the love you had does not go away, her spirit is with you and watching over you.  When I feel overwhelmed by the grief, I stop, sit, take some deep breathes until I feel centered and calm and then picture my departed fur baby Mia and slowly place this picture in my heart and feel her love and warmth.  I think also about other things I am grateful for, like her brother Shadow who is still with me and this brings me comfort. 

Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.  Hugs Cynthia.  

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My deepest condolences on your loss. Your beloved Pie was suffering and you did the brace and loving thing. You let her go. I know it is so terribly hard now facing life without your girl. In time it will get easier but for now you are mourning her and that is, unfortunately, a necessary step toward healing. Wishing you peace now and brighter days ahead, S.
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I am so sorry for your loss.  I had 4 cats, but Abby was my first and my sweetest.  Losing her devastated me.  I adopted the other ones only after I had had her for 3 years.  When she passed, it hurt so bad to see her bed in the living room.  That was her bed and none of the others would go near it.  I took it, and everything else of hers, and put them in the cat carrier because it was to painful seeing it every day.  It's still there, and it's been a month.  Don't get rid of all the stuff.  Get a big box or something and put it all in there and close the lid.  Keep it as long as you like, or until you feel like you want to rescue another poor baby who could use a loving home.  When I brought Abby home 6 years ago, someone at my job was hurting because they had lost their furbaby after many years.  Abby and I were so thankful for the cat tree, litter scoops etc that they gave me since I didn't have anything.  They brought Abby lots of happiness and helped me in taking care of her.  Hugs and prayers for healing.
David Norton
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