One week ago today I said goodbye to my soulmate and best friend, Rosie. She was the light of my life. She was my everything. She was always there when I was happy, sad, distraught, etc. She never left my side through anything. Whenever I was sick she always knew and laid next to me.

The hardest part is her not sleeping next to my head. She used to wiggle in right next to my pillow. Her body would squish between the mattress and the wall. This was what she always did just to be next to me.  There were many days and nights when we couldn't get close enough to each other.

I know I did the the right thing. Two different vets told me the shocking news- that she very likely had stomach cancer. They also found a mass next to her liver. This could be a separate cancer or the stomach cancer metastasizing to her liver. They could run more tests - stick needles in her.  That didn't solve the immediate problem - that she wasn't eating or drinking. For that their solution was to put a feeding tube in her.

I chose the best route for her. I know I did.

But it doesn't make any of this any easier.

I only want to go back one week. Stroke her one more time, sing her one more song, tell her in no uncertain terms how much I love her and how we're meant to be together and only GOD can part us.

And he did.

And I'm undone.
R.I.P. Olivia Rose "Rosie" Conway
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I'm so sorry Kelly. You did do the right thing. I don't think I would ever want to use a feeding tube on a pet. That sounds like a horrible quality of life. And once the cancer is that far out, it's just a matter of time. I know how you feel when you say you want to go back one week. I lost my buddy, Leo, about a week and a half ago and I keep looking at the calendar at months when he was still alive and thinking "He was still here and healthy then. I wish I could go back in time." But we can't and it's awful and painful and only time will heal you. 

Please hang in there. 

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Kelly, I actually don't think i could have put the words any better myself if I tried in anyway to explain the feeling, I'm 2 weeks ago today! Maybe it gets easier for some and for that I am happy but I seem to be getting worse nearly, it's like it's literally only sinking in now! The whole ordeal we have been through and the realisation that this is forever, I can't have him back, I can't snuggle up to him or smell his gorgeous little head again! That's what's killing me! Your words touched me and I hope you find peace x
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I am sorry for the loss of your Rosie, she sounds like a true snuggle bug/best buddy to you. And yes, you did the right thing and yes cancer sucks.

Same issue happened with my Munki who I lost 11 months ago, she had cancer that spread in her lungs and then to her nasal passage, she would not eat, yes the vets said they could put a feeding tube in her, etc and that may buy her maybe one week.....I just could not see her suffering and let her go that day 12/3/15.....I know my Munki was like my child, my baby. I miss her dearly.

Please keep coming back and posting and the first few weeks are by far the worst, even into the months ahead there was meltdowns for me. It just shows how much love I have for my babies, a piece of my heart was forever taken away the day she "crossed over"


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I am so sorry for your loss.  It's very difficult to lose our Pet child.  They bring us so much joy. The pain is real.
Just   2 weeks ago today,  I lost my loyal companion Lexie.  She was my best buddy.  She was diagnosed with stomach cancer first week in Sept.  She was almost 11 years old.  They did not recommend surgery or putting her under that much trauma at her age.
I took her home and wanted her to be comfortable and make her happy.  She had some really good days, weeks  and a few bad days.  But 2 week ago, she stopped eating, refused water and could not stand.  She tried to come to me when I called her, but fell twice.  I knew it was time to go to the ER vet.  It was very painful to make that decision.  But I could not stand the thought that she would hurt and suffer.  I did not want to say good-bye, but I had to do what was best for her.  It was heart breaking to drive there with her on my lap.  We all cried.  We held her and told her she was the best girl, and we loved her so much, and how much we will miss her and how she brought us  so much joy"  We all hugged her and kissed her and I  held her until she passed. It was devastating to say good bye to my sweet girl.  I miss her every day.   I  still  cry often, but  I know this is normal and its  part of the grieving process. 
We need to cry and release our heart ache.  I believe it heals our heart. 
My friend said it best...."The greater the love, the Greater the pain."  I believe this to be very true.  Please come back to this page and share how you feel, because we all understand your pain.   It feels good to know I am not alone, and other people feel the same way after losing a beloved pet.  Be kind to yourself, and come back for support.  We truly understand.

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