clevymd
It's been one week since we let Zoe go.  It's been a hard week of grieving our loss.  
Zoe was 6 1/2 and we had to euthanize her for worsening aggression that did not respond to training, medication, and love.  I could not find a new home for her nor find a shelter willing to take her because of the aggression and biting.  I tried for 3 years to find another solution, but in the end had to let go, but in a way so that she was at home, held in our arms, and without pain or suffering.  

In the past week, although I have been missing her terribly, I have to admit that our house is now calm, and our other three dogs are happier than they've been for a while.  I knew that it was stressful having the constant threat of Zoe attacking us, but I didn't realize just how much it affected all of us.  You get used to things, even bad things.  I loved Zoe and wanted to save her, but I now see that I let my love for her allow a bad situation go on and on, negatively impacting our whole family.  I was looking at photos from years ago, before Zoe got so aggressive, and back then the dogs all got along well, played together, and looked so happy.  Things changed and I can now see it reflected in the photos so clearly.

Zoe was really cute, a black and tan brindle shepherd mix with amber eyes.  She had one floppy ear on the left.  She had a great smile.  She was smart, so smart.  She was wonderful to walk, and I really enjoyed those times with her.  She would have times when she still would cuddle with me, and let me hug and kiss her, but it was only moments.  She had a funny way of lying on her stomach with her legs out straight behind her that was so cute.  I loved her fluffy booty.  She sometimes would sleep on her back with her paws up in the air.

Zoe was also very aggressive, would snarl, bark, charge at us, bite us, and start terrible fights with the other dogs.  We could not walk in our home freely, as I had to have gates up every where to keep us and the other dogs safe from her.  Zoe had to wear a muzzle, and a harness with a short leash.  I stopped having anyone over to visit, and didn't even like to get anything repaired unless it was absolutely vital, as it was just chaos.  

So, a week later, I miss Zoe SO much.  I still feel very terribly guilty that I couldn't find any other way to keep her with us.  I can see, however, that I had to let her go.  I am still crying, and will for many weeks, months, and years to come.  I will remember the good and the bad, but will cherish my other three dogs, and do everything I can to make their lives happy and healthy as we move forward.  
Carole, Mom to Zoe, who crossed the bridge on 7/5/18, Jasmine, who crossed on 7/14/18, and Layla, on 12/1/18, all will forever be in my heart, and ongoing mom to Roxie.

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/ZOE085/Resident.htm
https://www.RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JASMI151/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/LAYLA022/Resident.htm
Quote 0 0
clevymd
14718636_10211238689907461_4416424354084596788_n-2.jpg 
Carole, Mom to Zoe, who crossed the bridge on 7/5/18, Jasmine, who crossed on 7/14/18, and Layla, on 12/1/18, all will forever be in my heart, and ongoing mom to Roxie.

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/ZOE085/Resident.htm
https://www.RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JASMI151/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/LAYLA022/Resident.htm
Quote 0 0
Julia_Loves_McCartney
Carole,

I'm so sorry for your loss and situation. She's a beautiful dog! Sending prayers.

~I love you eternally, McCartney boy~

You can visit my kitty McCartney's Rainbow Bridge Memorial here: http://www.rainbowbridge.com/residents/MCCAR001/Resident.htm

Quote 0 0
xxcesarxx
She's beautiful
Quote 0 0