Wileykitten
My beautiful Sevyn... today is already one month of life without u and I am so broken. Your last days haunt me every minute of every hour and I miss u so much. I wish I knew what happened.. I wish I could have done something to save u. I can't believe u were fine weds and Thursday, playing, eating, snuggling... and Thursday night u threw up i thought u had a stomach bug. Friday and Saturday u didnt eat, just drank, until the appetite pill kicked in.. u ate almost that whole can of Fancy Feast it must have tasted so good to u. I had so much hope that u had turned a corner.
A couple hours later I didn't think you'd make it thru the night. I was so afraid u would have fallen off the bed so I left u in ur cat bed by the heater.. u were so cold. Im so sorry and filled w regret that i didnt sleep on the floor by u. It runs thru my mind constantly I should have slept on the floor with u. U always slept w me especially when I was sad or sick I should have slept on the floor by u im so sorry my monkey princess. Im so sorry
I keep thinking about deciding to take u to the ER vet. ..such an unfamiliar place but everyone was so kind and concerned for u, even as I panicked when they looked at u and called Triage STAT to rush u to the back. Sevyn, i was so scared. I thought if we just gave u fluids for a few hours u would be fine and wed go home and continue life together. I never imagined that would be your last hours.
I keep thinking about when they brought u to me and u tried to drink water from a cup and i laid u on my chest and u were purring, rubbing your lips,against mine and my face as I told u stories about when u came into my life and everything we had been thru and how brave u are and smart and sweet and so funny... u were trying to figure out the noises in the waiting room outside our room ("silly dogs, monkey, right?") U didn't know what dogs were... but then ud come back to my face and rub ur face against mine. I remember telling u how sick u were and that u were going to go seep and when u woke up ud be with Wiley he was waiting for u and u wouldn't be alone or scared anymore.. i told u i would be there one day and we would never be apart again.
I want u to know i didnt cry in that time alone w ypu because I didn't want u to be scared. Mama put on a brave face because u are so brave and I wanted u to feel calm and peaceful when u closed ur eyes. I also didn't want u to see me so scared of losing u.. i will ne er forget when i asked "are u ready go seep and see Wiley?" And u rubbed u lips to mine but stopped and stared into my eyes for about a minute. I could see myself in your pupils... then u kept purring and pushed ur face against mine.
It was the first time in days u were actually able to look at me. I am grateful for that moment even tho it still breaks my heart like it just happened.
I cant believe your gone. ..
When u took your last breath I flipped out yelling ur name and holding u, crying so hard I wanted u back... just a few more minutes my monkey why didn't I wait a little longer to spend more time with u.. i wish i had done so much differently, Sevyn. I wish I could have saved u..
I wish u were here. I wish i could look over the edge of the bed right now and see u sitting there and i would say "Sevyn wan' eat?" and ud say "merrrrr" and start towards the kitchen. .. ud wait so patiently for ur turn.
The other cats know "eat" so thats what we still say and they run to the kitchen. ..
Your blue feather stick is still on the cat tree, they will play with it if I start it but no one brings it to me like u always did... so proud of your "kill" and that weird meow as u dragged it thru the house letting everyone know wjat u caught.. silly monkey business. My God I love u so much. Sometimes if its quiet, my brain thinks u are just in another room and then it hits me and im hysterical and can't stop crying.
..i cry all the time missing u and Wiley.
Life is so different now without you both.

I hope u hear me when I talk to u and know how much I love u and miss u. My heart aches so deeply for my babies. I cant wait to see u again.

My keeten thank u for watching over Sevyn. .. there are no words to express the pain in my soul since u have been gone. My best friend, my Wiley.
My only solace is u are together and I will be there too, one day.. but i would give anything to have u here with me now.
So much love for u... xoxo i miss u so much
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Kittypiller
Im so sorry for your loss, its always hard to loose our babies. I lost my baby Butters on dec 21, 2017 to cancer & kidney failure, its been almost 3 months and I still cry for her I miss her so much and like you wish I could have her back but I know shes no longer in pain. I had to make the deciaion to put her to rest and it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I am here for you and everyone here is very caring and understanding because we have all suffered a loss. Most of us go through the what if's and I wish I could have her/him back but you have to keep in mind you did what was best for your baby and sevyn knows you love her and she loves you to. Im here for you anytime day or night when you want or need to chat.

Big Hugs
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Wileykitten
Thank you for your kind words. Sitting here now im remembering where I was last month at this time, in the ER having to make the decision.. its like im there all over again.
Im so sorry for your loss also. My Wiley had sinus cancer I lost him 8/17/15 and still cry every day missing him. I am grateful for u and everyone here because away from this site, tears and anguish are not as acceptable and we are ofteb told "move on" "get over it" or "its a cat" i have also heard "u still have more" omg...
People dont understand I lost my children.
..only people who come to this site.
The heartache is unbearable im so sorry u are struggling with it too
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Kittypiller
People just dont want to understand and its a shame how cruel they can be Im so thankful for this site and all the people here that do understand what we are all going through. Heres a poem i wrote the other night, I hope it helps to ease your pain


This is for all the beloved babies that have gone to the rainbow bridge and the people who miss them -

I miss you so very much.
You are so special
You will always have a very special place in my heart and will never be forgotton.

I knew from the first time I saw you that we were ment to be together and I remember all the happy memories we made and I know someday we will be together once again but until that day comes I will cherish every moment & every memory of you.

Until we meet again know that I love you with all of my heart and I know you are happy & healthy once again in the heavens above.

This isnt a goodby its just til I see you again.

I love you my special baby
And I know you are watching over me from above.
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Wileykitten
Beautiful. Thank u for sharing this xo
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Kittypiller
Youre welcome, I know the pain of loosing fur babies
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