JaspersMom
To my Jasper,

Two years ago today, yet you have never left my heart. You are as close to me now in spirit as when you were physically here. I remember how you used to love to sit on the windowsill when it snowed, you seemed almost mesmerized by the snowflakes as they gently fell, then after awhile, you would close those beautiful green eyes of yours, and fall sound asleep. I used to wonder what you were dreaming about, you always looked so sweet and peaceful. I could never have imagined back then that you would not be here with me today. I know now that you were only on loan to me for such a short time, perhaps the angels needed you up there, you have such a sweet and gentle soul, perhaps you were here to teach me about a very special love that knows no bounds ... no bounds. All I know is, no matter how long you were here with me, it could never be long enough.

 I would have traded places with you in a heartbeat, I would have taken on your illness and pain, I would have gone with you if only I could have, we would have crossed that bridge together ... but I suppose in a way we did, because I know that as my hold on you became lighter, and my voice became softer, and your dear little heartbeat slowed, and that radiant light ahead of you became brighter, you knew I was still right there with you, holding you in my arms, and as my tears fell and your eyes closed, I knew that you had found your rainbow ... and then my world turned very dark and cold. I did not think I would ever feel the warmth again, I did not think that I would ever see the light again, but you sent me so many signs, even through the deepest throes of my grief, I could not overlook those signs, there are no coincidences, those little signs meant the world to me, and helped to bring all those broken pieces of my heart back together again.

The warm sunbeam always shining down upon the place you used to lay, the delicate blossom wafting down upon my face, that single perfect pawprint in the snow, such wonderful and healing little heart tugs that could only have been sent from you. They say that time is the great healer, but I miss you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow. Hold onto all the sweet memories my sweet boy, hold onto all the love, and know that every day that passes by brings me one day closer to you. I am so happy we found each other, even if only for a little while, I am so happy you chose me. Two years ago today, yet you have never left my heart ....
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
Beesmom123
JaspersMom,
your heartfelt letter to your dear Jasper, touched me more than I can say
you have a special gift of putting in words what so many of us think and say in our hearts

Each night & morning, I say the words ' one day closer, baby' to my boy whose picture is on my nightstand
this thought comforts me and I have no fear of death, as it will  reunite me with my beloved boy , we'll be in the same place, in the same form once again

Hugs to you and dear Jasper
Diana


Bee- "Good night sweet prince & flights of angels see thee to thy rest"
Quote 0 0
Beaglemomma
I must agree that your words touched my heart too.  What a beautiful tribute to your little one.  You truly should think about writing books or something.  All of us here feel as you described but don't have the ability to voice our feelings as perfectly as you did.  thank you for that gift to all of us here that are hurting so badly.  Molly was my heart and soul and I don't think the darkness will ever lift.  Someone on this site said it more eloquently than I ever could  that the grief comes "sometimes as a gentle wave, and sometimes hits like a Tsunami", as I am sure you are or will find out.

I hope you find peace soon knowing you will see Jasper again.
janice
Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Diana, thank you so much for your very kind words. When I begin writing, I am not even sure what words are going to end up on the paper, I suppose that is called writing from your heart. That is so wonderful how you speak to your sweet boy's picture every morning and evening, and I have absolutely no doubt that he can hear every word and feel every bit of love you have for him. Thank you again for your thoughtful and sweet words, which mean so much to me. I can imagine Byron and Jasper are the best friends by now, and are having such a lovely time together, while they wait for us to come home to them. Hugs to you and your sweet Byron, from me and my Jasper.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Janice, thank you so very much for your kind and thoughtful words. I am so glad that I am somehow able to give a voice to the feelings of some of my forum friends, who understand how I feel, and who can relate to the sadness and pain of losing the little love of your life. That is so nice that you think I could actually write a book, and how I would love to write one about my precious boy, to honor and cherish his memory. He means the world to me, and every single time I write to him, I can feel his sweet spirit so close to me, so near to my heart. I know how much you must miss your beautiful Molly, but just know that she is still so close, and she can still feel your love for her, of this I have no doubt. You are so right about the waves, they do come and go, and sometimes they are gentle, but oftentimes they are not, and we have to just learn to ride that wave, but sometimes we have to learn how to swim, that is the hard part.

 I have found that grief does not end or stop, and you never really accept what happened to your dear little one, but you put one foot in front of the other, and you keep walking, and somehow that grief becomes a part of your very being. I am not talking about the sadness overwhelming you, only that it is always there, as much a part of you as your dear little one is, and then  one day you can actually look at their picture with a smile, you can say their name without your heart feeling shattered, but there will also always be the tears, and they are so worth every tear we cry for them. I always try to write in the present tense, because their sweetness and love still surround us and always will. Please know that one day the darkness you speak of will lift, your Molly will see to that, the light and love she brought into your world will break through that sadness and pain. They so want us to be happy, they so want us to feel the warmth of their love, they so want us to know they are only a heartbeat away. You will see your Molly again, she is just on the other side of the rainbow. Hugs to you and your beautiful Molly, from me and my Jasper.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0
ahartofilis
JaspersMom wrote:
Hi Jasper

The lovely sunbeam always shining down upon the place you used to lay, the cherry blossom wafting down upon my cheek when I look up at the sky, the single precious pawprint in the snow, such wonderful and healing little heart tugs that could only have been sent from you. Hold on tight to our connection my sweet boy, you know that no time or distance could ever break our special bond, hold on tight to the love my precious angel until I get there. They say that time is the great healer, and I miss you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow. I take comfort in knowing that every single day that passes by brings me one day closer to you, I miss you with all my heart sweet baby, love you to the rainbow and back.


Hello Jaspers Mom,
                        Your letter to Jasper is not just a letter, it is a melody of hope and everlasting love for your dear boy. Your words allow us to feel the beautiful connection you have with Jasper. It is truly inspiring to me, a testament to the enduring love you have for him. I hope that the sun beams continue to shine upon the place where Jasper would lay and that he continues to send you his love. He will always find a way to be with you.
       What a special "sailor kitty" he is and will always be!.......Please take care of yourself........Jasper waits for you............hugs...........Sincerely, Andrea, Coco, Rudy, Vadie.
Quote 0 0
DanHenao
JaspersMom,
Your letter really touched me and hit home to me today, especially since i lost my baby brother, my close to 16 year old cat Rupert. I am still in shock that he is gone from me and my family. 

As an aspiring writer, your words is something i hope i can achieve one day. 
Danny

My friend, my brother, Rupert, pre 2001-January 25, 2016 
I love you and I miss you. 


Quote 0 0
JaspersMom
Andrea,
         Thank you so very much for your very kind response to my letter to my boy. Your words about my letter being a melody of hope and everlasting love were absolutely beautiful, and meant so much to me. I so love how you wrote that Jasper will always find a way to be with me, that just warms my heart, and gives me such a wonderful feeling about the future. Yes my sailor kitty is indeed a very special one, he is my one in a million for sure, and I know he will always be with me.

Thank you again for your lovely post, and for making me smile. there was a time when I first lost my precious boy that I did not think I would ever smile again. I know you so understand and I know how much you miss your dear Coco, and how you worry as you wait for your beautiful Vadie to come back home. Words like yours make such a difference, and truly lift me up and make this journey so much easier. Take care and know that I am thinking about you and your sweet babies and sending you the warmest wishes for peace in your world, and hope in your heart. Hugs to you, Coco, Rudy, and Vadie, from me and my Jasper.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
Quote 0 0