My dearest baby bret..its day 10 and not any different.. first thing I do is get up and hold your urn and don't want to let go. I sit on the side of my bed and just stare at the rug where you would be laying on my booties of a morn. You always started on my bed when we both went to bed but you always ended up laying on my booties on the rug every morn n we would both sit there and plan our day together. I get my coffee now and do the same routine as always. You know how mommy loved my coffee but that doesn't even taste good now. It's like my taste buds are gone nothing even sounds good. Still have no appetite . I know you wouldn't want me to be this way but it can't be helped. I get cramps in my feet and legs n my guess maybe dehydrated. The loneliness without you quietness in this house I'll never come to terms with this. I want to go back to bed and just sleep all day so I don't have to be awake in this house without you. The days are hell and just plain miserable with you.day 10 without and feels like yesterday. Nothing but a nightmare reliving that night. I love you my baby boy with all my heart and soul nobody can ever take that away. Can't wait till I'm with you again.... love you boostie....your mommy
Judi coltrain
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