I’ve said that one day Darcy was fine and one she was diying of cancer. Well what about the days she didn’t greet me at the door(unusual) or days she wanted to sleep alone in her room (unusual) or days she wanted to play ball but she was done after one throw (unusual) or days she wasn’t very hungry (unusual)!Was she giving out signs for months but I didn’t pay close enough attention. Was I the one person that is watching out for her but I put her actions off to her being old and having arthritis pain? Was I a bad friend?
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Hello, please don’t blame yourself for not noticing signs.  I sure understand how you feel.  I went Through this last year this time with my girl.  I thought a few things was just part of her getting old as well.  But in reality she had cancer and we found out in July.   I don’t blame myself but when looking back on last year’s photos, I see now what I didn’t notice then, she looked sick.  😞 Hugs to you. 
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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I know how you feel.  My sweet Pecan was happy and healthy when she woke up on March 19th but wasn’t herself around 6:30pm and passed away at 4am on Friday March 20th as soon as we rushed her to the emergency. She was only 9.  It’s been 9 weeks and I still cry everyday.  I blamed myself and still feel guilty for her death.  What if she was sick and I didn’t notice, what if I should have taken her to the vet more often, so many what if and maybes but I will never know what caused her death.  All I know is guilt is common but it’s a negative feeling and it doesn’t bring her back.  I have started writing to her everyday.  I have a note book that only belongs to her.  It’s been really helpful.  Our animals usually don’t show us any clear signs until it’s too late. Pecan was my soulmate and we had a strong bond I’m so mad that our journey ended so soon.   Please remember all the love you have given her and all the good memories.  The fact that you are here shows how much you cared about her and how much you loved her.  Please be kind to yourself. I’m praying for you. 


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I know exactly how you feel. Just in the last hour, I’ve been thinking about all the signs I feel I missed with Max. His intestines were riddled with scar tissue, the vet said he had to have been in pain for awhile. All the times I would go to pet his belly and he would go to bite, going to pick him up and he would go to nip, his vomiting that was associated with his IBS had increased. Not wanting to jump through his dog door at times, just barking at it to let him in( associated this with his arthritis in his back and paws and cataracts) 

All of these changes that I attributed to his known/managed ailments. 
Laraine Esposito 
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I have been through having a pet with cancer four times now.  And each time, we did not realize the animal was sick until late into the process, even with our animals getting regular checkups.  Pets are good at hiding their pain and illness.  You cannot blame yourself for missing any signs.  Sadly, this is a common occurrence, as you can see from the comments.

Nearly three years ago, our oldest cat had gotten a bit thinner, but otherwise, he seemed his usual, happy self.  He was still playful and affectionate and looked sharp.  Then, one night, we found him hiding and foaming at the mouth.  It was an extreme change that seemed to come from nowhere.  I was convinced he'd been poisoned somehow.  The next day, he was diagnosed with a kidney tumor, and he died the following day.  It was devastating, and we dealt with that guilt for a long time.  How could we have missed it?  Looking back, he just didn't let on that he was feeling so sick.  And in reality there's not much we could have done for him even if we had known.

You were not a bad friend, and it's not your fault.  Please be easy on yourself and remember the good times you shared with her.
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