Stephanieladamson
I’m hoping someone out there can help me through this pain. My beloved pup, Madison, died naturally in my arms Sunday. She just turned 15 on June 5th. I’m wrought with guilt about not being a good dog mom the past 16 months after I had my son. I loved my little girl more than anything but it was so hard sometimes with both of them. I’m killing myself with regret over the past 16 months. Any advise?
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MiasMomma
Stephanieladamson wrote:
I’m hoping someone out there can help me through this pain. My beloved pup, Madison, died naturally in my arms Sunday. She just turned 15 on June 5th. I’m wrought with guilt about not being a good dog mom the past 16 months after I had my son. I loved my little girl more than anything but it was so hard sometimes with both of them. I’m killing myself with regret over the past 16 months. Any advise?


I’m so sorry for your loss. The best piece of advice I can offer is this: cut yourself some slack. You’re only one person and you can only do so much. I have no doubt that you loved her immensely and took care of her to the best of your abilities. We all do that. When I lost my girl in April, I grappled with all kinds of guilt. Why didn’t I spend more time with her? Why wasn’t I more patient? Why did I get upset with her for whining when all she wanted was attention? The reality is, I couldn’t dedicate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to her. I have a job, a home to take care of, other dogs, a husband and just day to day stuff that needs time and attention.

I think that the guilt is part of grief. We hope and pray that they left this world feeling loved, and obsess over all the little details wondering if we did enough. You need it be kind, gentle and patient with yourself as you go through this process of grieving for your girl. It WILL get better, I promise. Take a big, deep breath and try to remember the life you gave her and don’t fixated on the little things that you think you did wrong. I can guarantee that she didn’t care about that stuff. ♥️
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Stephanieladamson
Thank so much!
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pannklaus
I am so sorry that your beautiful Madison died in your arms.  But it was a blessing that she could die with you holding her rather than you having to make the difficult decisions some of us have to make.  

Of course, your life changed when you had a new baby and you couldn't do everything the same as you did before.  That is a part of the normal process of life.  But Madison still knew that she was loved.  Our fur babies adjust to life changes and know that we still love them, even if routines and circumstances change. 

Right now you are grieving and guilt is often a normal part of grieving.  Why didn't I do this?  I should have done that?, etc.  No one is a perfect pet parent every moment of every day and that is not what our beloved pets need.  They need to have their basic needs met, get some affection, and know that they are still an important part of our lives even though we aren't paying constant attention to them.

I know it is hard now but try to focus on all the positive moments that you had with her and all the things that you still did do, even with a new baby. When we have the privilege of having our beloved pets for a long time, they go through life changes with us.  

I am very sorry your are experiencing so much guilt and pain now.  Unfortunately that is part of the grieving process which we all are going through here. There are many kind people in this forum who understand and will grieve with you are you go through the painful process.
Patsy
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