Chicolito
So, we put Chico to sleep on Thursday and today is Sunday.  I find I am not crying and don't know what is going on.  He was very sick for a long time and I am feeling guilty because in one way, I am relieved of the burden of constantly worrying about him and asking my husband if he gave him his meds while I was at work.  He always did...I worked nights and him days...

Thanks for letting me vent.  I'm all over the place and don't know what I'm feeling.  Has anyone else experienced this?
Chicolitolv
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Tommyhunter123
I think it might not have hit you yet or maybe you are in deniel? Did you cry alto while chico was sick at home? That may be the reason.
david gaspari
David R. Gaspari
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Beaglemomma
There is a quote I saw somewhere that went like this--------------"When you've been sad for so long that when something bad happens you don't cry, you just sit there and feel numb"-------I think there is truth in this.

You had a sick baby for a long time it sounds like  now you just don't know what to do with yourself.  Don't beat yourself up, there is nothing wrong with you.  I have heard of human caregivers who experience the same thing you are describing.  The human heart needs time to heal and it sounds to me like you are just worn out.

Take extra care of yourself during this time.
janice
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Chicolito
Yes, He was diagnosed with kidney failure about a month ago.  He had progressively gotten worse and I cried EVERY day.  He began to have tremors and I would hold him and tell him "Mommy's here", give him a little food and they would subside.  It was heartwrenching and Yes I cried all the time:9
Chicolitolv
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Beaglemomma
There you go.  You are just cried out-----at least for now.  I used to believe that you are given just so many tears for your lifetime and when you cry so much over so many things then there just anymore left--------BUT when Molly left me I found out that isn't true at all.  I have literally cried till I thought I would drown and still it kept coming.  You might find you have some left too when your body gets some rest.
janice
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shantismom
I had a cat named Shanti, he had numerous health issues, and the last 9 months of his life he was diabetic which was really stressful for me.  I was upset when he died and I still miss him but I also felt a sense of relief because now I wasn't constantly worrying about if he ate enough before he had his insulin, is his glucose too high or too low.  It is natural to feel some relief, it doesn't take anything away from the many years you loved and cared for your baby.

Marlene Wagner
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MyTacoBaby
Chicolito: I'm so sorry for your loss, as I'm dealing with the loss of my baby-dog as well - Jan 21. Today was his birtday. I understand there are steps in grief that we go through: devastation & hurt, shock & denial, guilt, anger, and acceptance. I've been through them all since January - and I might be in the early stages of acceptance, though I have waves of the other emotions as well. It's supposed to be natural to go through these, but I will say that the whole ordeal has been surreal. I knew the time was coming and tried to brace myself for awhile, but when the day came I still wasn't prepared. Losing my mother to cancer years back, then becoming a hospice volunteer, and knowing what I know, I am just now starting to sleep better through the night and get a tiny bit of my energy back. Losing my baby-dog ranks right up there with the loss of Mom. It's been a long hard road and I truly understand now that: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
May God heal our broken hearts.
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