Lovelyasis Show full post »
Lovelyasis
I'm headed to pickup midnight ashes and talk to the doctor today. I'm so nervous, but yet so happy to bring her home. I'm cleaning off the desk beside my bed to put her when she gets here. She used to sleep in a basket right by my bed underneath the desk. My cat has taken over the basket now and sleeps there. I'm so nervous to hear what the doctor has to say. I hope it doesn't make me sadder. I hope that his words will bring some closure so that I can start feeling better. This morning started off pretty bad. I woke up wondering was midnight even dead when she passed in my arms. My fiance said he did CPR but what if he was doing it wrong? What if she could have been saved. She passed out in my arms at the vet hospital and they brought her back. What if she couldve been brought back the second time?! MY mind races with me so much. I go from feeling better to feeling sad all over again. It's officially been 7 days since she passed. We will actually be at the vet today around the same time we took her last week. I feel so sad. I just wish I could have done more. I loved her so much. 
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Ollies_Grieving_Mama
I really hope that the vet was able to give you some closure today. I have had you in my thoughts today.
Ollie's Grieving Mama
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Bunnyguy
I understand completely....I lost my favorite bunny about 6 weeks ago....I miss him like crazy, luckily his girlfriend (Pepper) has adjusted well, and is doing good.
I don’t think the pain ever goes away...when you lose someone that you’ve grown to love so much-the hole left in your heart never heals totally, the only saving grace is that after a period of time, the RAW pain subsides, and that does make it a little easier to deal with.I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers today. Trust me...as another person who absolutely ADORES animals...(yes....even snakes, skunks, and insects)....the pain will get easier to deal with..the memories will always be there..and I do think we will see our pets again someday...
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Lovelyasis
So I went to talk to the doctor the other day. I can say that it was good to get his perspective on things, however the pain is still there. He really doesn't know what was wrong with midnight. He said he just thinks her body was shutting down on her. I asked about if things would have went differently if she was on the oxygen treatment, and he said that it could have but he thinks whatever was the underlying problem would have still been there. I wish now that I would've gotten a autospy to see what was really wrong. He basically said that some dogs just die all of a sudden and their is no way for us to know how sick they are until the last minute. I was okay with everything until I came out to get her ashes and found out that they FORGOT TO DO HER PAW PRINT!!! I was so upset! I wanted to go off on everybody there. They kept apologizing and apologizing, but it didn't make it any better. I'm just happy that I cut off pieces of her fur before we took her back to the vet when she passed. That's one decision that I'm glad I made. If I hadn't did that, I don't know how I would cope with it. Her hair still smells like her. And I can physically touch it and close my eyes and picture me stroking her fur. But I hate that the vet failed me by not doing it. And the hardest thing about it, is that I can't go back and change anything. 
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Ollies_Grieving_Mama
I am so sorry that he couldn't give you more closure, but glad that you at least got a little bit of understanding of what happened. I am much more sorry that they didn't do the paw  print. That's not OK -- it should be mandatory every time they send a fur baby for cremation. I admire your restraint in dealing with them -- I probably would have had a full-on meltdown in the middle of the vet's office. I hope bringing her home gives you at least a little bit of peace. I know I calmed down a bit once my big guy was home with me. 
Ollie's Grieving Mama
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Lovelyasis
Thank you for your kind words. It did make me feel kind of better. I'm so glad that I do have her home. Now comes the hard part of trying to accept the fact that she's gone :( 
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