foolofatook819
I lost Hobo Jo almost two weeks ago now, and I'm thinking of adopting another parakeet.  My apartment is just so empty and I really want another friend.  I just feel like I'm betraying her memory.  Just was wondering people's opinions about getting another pet and how soon to wait before doing it.  

I would use her same cage, but I'm feeling funny about it right now.  Yesterday when I was looking at parakeets at the mom & pop pet store in town, I just felt so happy, but then I get home and second guess my decision.  Looking at parakeets online makes me excited too, so I think mentally I'm ready.  I just got to get over feeling guilty.  

I also can't make up my mind which color I would want.  There were almost 60 to choose from at the store I went to.  They were all newly weened and in great condition.  There was a dark blue almost purple one that actually preened my hair when I held him...he was cute.  And then there was a really neat lemon-lime colored one too.  Both were males.  The white-ish female's appeal to me because they are similar to Bo, but I should probably get one totally different looking than her.

I really like the sea foam green/turquoise ones with yellow heads, but I don't think I'm gonna find those near-by anytime soon, and I don't think I want to wait more than a month to have another bird in the apartment with me.  Usually I would choose a bird by how they interact and play with me.... but all the parakeets at this place were hand shy and will need to be taught, which I can do...I did with Bo.  The blue one settled in while I held him though.  Maybe that one is for me.

I'm gonna go to the more commercial pet stores just to see what they have and call around to see if there is a local breeder somewhere, I have yet to find one nearby.  I wanted to adopt, but the only parakeet I saw on rescue websites is 5 hours away and 13 years old- they live from 15-20 years.  I just don't want to go through taking care of a sick or dying parrot again right away if possible, even though I know nothing in life is guaranteed.  

I want to make a decision soon though, especially because the local mom and pop ones are babies and if I want a baby this month, that might be the only spot.  I just wish I didn't feel so guilty, and that I was more decisive.  What if I pick the wrong one?  Hobo Jo kinda picked me...  Not sure what to do.
The creatures who brought so much joy into our lives would not want us to be sad as we journey on, for we shall meet again.

Please visit Hobo Jo's Memorial at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/HOBOJ002/Resident.htm
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MuchasMom
It can be a difficult choice to get a new baby - I have had thoughts about it since losing my Mucha, but it is more difficult since I still have his brother here. I think my desire is more to do with wanting a cat to snuggle with again, my boy Barsten loves me but is not a cuddler really. 

It sounds like you really want a new bird to love and keep you company. I read your post about Hobo Jo, and her memorial page - you are obviously such a loving bird mommy, and you gave her a wonderful home and life. I had a girl cockatiel when I was younger - I got her when she was a baby and she really bonded with me. She loved to take baths too! I also lost her to an accident and it broke my heart. Many of us feel guilty when we lose our cherished pets, they are part of our family, and I think most of us on this forum understand that feeling. But it really sounds like you were not at fault, and did everything you could for your little girl. 

I guess my only advice would be to go back to that shop with the baby birds and visit them again, the blue boy sounds like maybe he would be happy with you. I think I would avoid getting one that looks like your girl Jo, I think it might make it harder to avoid comparing them, so you can start a brand new relationship with your new baby. And don't think of it as maybe getting the "wrong one" - sometimes we don't know when we get a pet that they will end up being our little soul mates, I certainly didn't know that when I adopted my Mucha. I think fate brings us together sometimes and as long as our hearts are open and we give love, we will get love in return.

Best wishes to you, and let us know if you do decide to have a new parakeet in your life, we'd love to meet your new friend.
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Bellamum
Hi,
I totally understand the feeling that you have that it would be betraying Hobo Jo if you were to get another pet...I think we all have those feelings after saying goodbye to our sweet friends.

I said goodbye to my gorgeous beagle, Bella, on 3rd April last year and I was devastated.  I missed her presence so much...it was almost unbearable being at home without the companionship she gave me.
After 4 weeks my family (husband and 3 teenage children) began to mention another dog.  At first I was strongly opposed to the idea.  I could not "replace" my beautiful Bella....nothing could ever replace her. 

After a few days of giving this idea much thought I realised that I would NOT be replacing her.  She will always have a place in my heart that belongs only to her.  I actually began to think of getting a new pet as paying the highest tribute to her that we could.  It was because of her and our wonderful life with her that we were even considering another pet.  She showed us the love, loyalty and laughter that a dog can bring to our family and we missed it so much. 

To cut a long story short, yes, we did end up rescuing a dog (2 in fact).  We got Charli a little over 4 weeks after we lost Bella, and we got Buddy about 8 weeks after we lost Bella.  We have not regretted our decision.  Having them in our family has not taken away the pain of losing Bella and they never will, but they have brought some happiness back into our family.

I know that Bella would be happy that we have them in our life and I like to think that she guided us to them.  I believe our hearts are big enough for more than one companion and getting a new pet does not reduce the amount of love you feel for the friend you lost.  You will develop a different relationship with a different personality.
If you feel ready, go for it.  Good luck. 

I found the following quote online.  It applies to all pets, not just dogs.
 dog 1 (300x150).jpg 
Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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Gertie
What a beautiful quote, thank you. I lost my 2 little guys in 2013, a kitty and a little dog. They died 6 months apart. I got another little dog 14 weeks after my little dog Duncan passed. Yes, he saved me. I already had a kitty Murphy, he now has a buddy in Ivan. So, yes I think you should go for it, I think it will help you heal.
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Julia_Loves_McCartney
Hi foolofatook819,

I'm very sorry about Bo. And I understand your struggle with when to get another parakeet. I went through it myself when my tabby cat McCartney passed last July. I wasn't quite ready for a kitten, but wanted one eventually someday. But one dropped into my life two weeks after McCartney's passing. I was not expecting this at all. The kitten was an orphan who my mom saw and saved from the middle of a dangerous intersection. I'm happy we gave him a chance to live and adopted him. His name is Desmond. I view it as a sign that another life needed to be saved, and I think McCartney would be happy knowing that we saved someone in the same way that he was saved when he was a kitten (from the middle of the road). He would also be happy that little Desmond has helped to cheer me up. But McCartney will never be replaced.

Like my case, perhaps Bo would want you to be happy that you saved another little parakeet. She would understand that she wasn't being replaced, and would know that you just wanted company and to be cheered up.

As for which one to choose, I think it would be best to get one that does not look like her and that is perhaps a male. Because it'll be different, and you (as anyone might) would be less likely to compare the new one with Bo. The dark blue boy that was preening your hair sounds very cute to me! As far as a new cage and new toys, that's your choice. New toys would be nice but there's no harm in keeping some of Bo's toys around along with the new ones. It'd be nice that another bird could get joy out of them like she did.

I hope all of this helped a little. Please let us know what you decide to do! My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know that a little bird would love to have a home and become your friend.

~I love you eternally, McCartney boy~

You can visit my kitty McCartney's Rainbow Bridge Memorial here: http://www.rainbowbridge.com/residents/MCCAR001/Resident.htm

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Sunnycat
I can definitely see how it would feel weird to use the same cage for the new bird, but it's probably not practical to buy a new one. I would definitely replace all the toys, maybe the food and water dishes too. But do whatever you feel is best for you. And remember that you still have a lot of love to give to another little bird.
Love never dies.
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foolofatook819
Hi Everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that I did wind up adopting a new parakeet on Sunday.  I went with the blue one that preened my hair because when I revisited the store he did the same thing and he even gave me a kiss on the lips!  I have named him Pixel and he is adorable.  He was all animated at the pet store, but since I have gotten him home he's been really scared.  I had to transport him in a cardboard box with holes, the clerk said they stress out less that way.  And unfortunately the minute I got home my neighbor was having phone issues and asked if she could use my phone and she brought her adorable, but high strung dog in with her.  I had her hold the dog when I put Pixel in Bo's old cage with brand new toys and we just left Pixel alone while she used my phone and then chatted with me for an hour saying thank you.  The dog didn't really bother with Pixel, but was running around and jumping on everything.  I think that was way too stressful for the little guy and not the ideal beginning to our life together.  Why am I WAY too nice sometimes? :(  
After my neighbor left, I noticed that Pixel panted for almost 4 hours.  He wouldn't eat, drink, or sleep for almost 24 hours.  I was SO worried.  Here I thought I finally got the courage to adopt again, and that he was ill.  He made a clicking noise when he breathed too.  Still not sure if that was his beak clicking, or lungs making that noise.  My inner hypochondriac kicked in and I swore he had a respiratory infection and I was going to have to go through nursing the poor baby, more vet bills, and watching a second parakeet die - all within a month.  The next day I finally noticed he ate his seed treat that I put right next to him and I was able to get him to drink some water by putting droplets on my finger and he licked them off!  (That was really cute!)
I don't think he is sick anymore because the panting stopped.  I'm just worrying about him, wondering how long it will take to feel completely comfortable.  He won't preen me anymore, and other than licking my finger, he is still nervous around my hands.  He will let me gingerly step him up though, which is good.  I know he won't be Bo, but I just wish I could sit with him like her, or take him into the shower.  I miss shower time with Bo the most right now.  I feel like I'm comparing and I need to stop.  What if I just wasn't ready.  I LOVE having him around though.  The hole in my chest feels a little less oppressive.  I just need patience...please grant me patience!
I'm also feeling really guilty for separating him from his playmates at the pet store and leaving him at home by himself for 8 hours of the day during work.  When I am home, I want to play with him, but again he gets nervous so I haven't really pushed the issue much...just letting him stay in his cage and feel safe.  I also fixed the cage after he fell the first night.  He's only a couple months old and me never having a baby or bought from a store, I thought he could just go right into a cage because he was totally weened and running around with his playmates in the pet store, eating seed and taking baths.  But I wasn't really thinking that he wasn't used to a cage, with bars one must climb, heights, and hanging dishes.  His enclosure at the store was plexi-glass with corncob on the bottom and a massive driftwood branch on the floor to climb all over.  He kinda stumbled overnight from the highest perch, so Monday I went out and bought him corncob for the floor, and big wooden perch that I laid down there too, and I took Bo's old pirate ship ladder to help him get up to a slightly more elevated rope perch.  I also bought floor dishes so he didn't have climb bars or perch higher to eat.  I think he felt a little more comfortable once his location looked more like the pet store.  
The biggest challenges I think I'm having is feeling bad, guilty, nervous, and worried.  I need to stop that because logically I know I'm giving him a great life, but I just keep worrying that he's gonna get hurt and it's going to be my fault.  I still feel responsible for Bo's death even though the vets assured me it was not the fall that killed her.  Everything will work out fine, and I'm sure in a month or two he'll be my best bud.  I just need to give it some time!  It took me time for the hole in my chest to dissipate...it will take time for Pixel to acclimate...but it will all be just fine.  What matters is that I LOVE Pixel already, and Bo knew that I will always have room in my heart for 1 more.
The creatures who brought so much joy into our lives would not want us to be sad as we journey on, for we shall meet again.

Please visit Hobo Jo's Memorial at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/HOBOJ002/Resident.htm
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MuchasMom
I think it is so wonderful that you have a new friend, Pixel sounds adorable! I am sure with some time he will get used to his new home, and be more comfortable interacting with you too. Thank you so much for sharing - by our stories of grief it is easy to see that everyone here is capable of loving so deeply, and it is wonderful to hear that baby Pixel will have such a great mom, and will feel that love all his life.
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Julia_Loves_McCartney
I am so happy that you adopted Pixel! What a cute name too! I would love to see pictures of him eventually. I understand all of the feelings you have going on, but I think everything will be ok! Pixel has a great new home and will be a great friend.

~I love you eternally, McCartney boy~

You can visit my kitty McCartney's Rainbow Bridge Memorial here: http://www.rainbowbridge.com/residents/MCCAR001/Resident.htm

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Graceful
foolofatook819 wrote:
The biggest challenges I think I'm having is feeling bad, guilty, nervous, and worried.  I need to stop that because logically I know I'm giving him a great life, but I just keep worrying that he's gonna get hurt and it's going to be my fault.  I still feel responsible for Bo's death even though the vets assured me it was not the fall that killed her.  Everything will work out fine, and I'm sure in a month or two he'll be my best bud.  I just need to give it some time!  It took me time for the hole in my chest to dissipate...it will take time for Pixel to acclimate...but it will all be just fine.  What matters is that I LOVE Pixel already, and Bo knew that I will always have room in my heart for 1 more.


Wonderful of you to go ahead with the adoption.  Best wishes for a loving life with little Pixel.   I agree completely with the sentence I underscored from your post:  You LOVE Pixel already.   That alone should tell you that you've done the right thing.

I also recommend re-reading some informational articles and such re: bringing a new parakeet home.    There's quite a bit to be aware of, but you are entirely correct that you need to be patient, and let the relationship grow.   Pixel needs to learn to trust you, and that trust will be earned, it's not automatic.  OF course, you can't take that personally, it's just his protective instincts. 

My family had a parakeet when I was a kid.   He loved my father the most of anyone in the family, and one of the nicest pics we have is a pic of Timmy sitting on my Dad's head.   Too cute for words.  My father loooooved that little bird.   I would have done anything if he'd perch on my finger, but he'd only go to my Dad.   Funny how that works.   He ultimately got sick (and you know the rest ...), but he lasted 6-7 years and the memories of him in our lives are priceless.  

I love how you took such good care of "Bo" and I know Pixel is going to have a great life with you, too.  Best wishes on your new family member.   Be patient, and "let him come to you."    Give him a little kiss for me, will you please?

"Now that the time has come
 Soon gone is the day,
 There upon some distant shore
 You will hear me say,
 Long as the day in the summer time
 Deep as the wine-dark sea,
 I'll keep your heart with mine
 Till you come to me"  (LM)

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foolofatook819
Thank you everyone for your replies!  It's so good to hear the kind words that you guys share!!!  This forum is amazing.  And that's a great idea to look up bringing home a new parakeet.  I think they are really different than the other birds and also most of the time my mom was the one to take care of any new bird to be adopted into our home, so it's nice for me to read up and get more ideas on parakeet care.  Thanks!  :)
The creatures who brought so much joy into our lives would not want us to be sad as we journey on, for we shall meet again.

Please visit Hobo Jo's Memorial at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/HOBOJ002/Resident.htm
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ahartofilis
Hello there, my name is Andrea. I came to this forum about 6 weeks ago after the loss of my canine companion Coco left for the bridge on Dec. 7th. I have been rather consumed with her loss and thus far I have mostly relating to others who share the experience of loosing a dog. Tonight I was in a calmer state of mind and ventured out a little when I saw you're thread.
I just want to tell you that I am so sorry for the loss of  Hobo Jo. What an absolutely darling pretty bird!! I loved reading you're posts as they are very touching, sincere and heartwarming. It reminds me that creatures big and small are all a part of Gods beautiful creation and are worthy of our love. My mom used to have many parakeets. To this day she still has a parrot that she got when I was a teenager. I am now a grandmother!
I also looked at and read you're Memorial for Hobo Jo. It was very beautiful and poetic. It really lifted my spirits!! I really appreciate the life that you had with you're beloved sweet Hobo Jo! Thank- you for sharing it!  Sincerely..Andrea
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jaschutz
It is great to hear that you found a place in your heart to adopt a new parakeet. I hope that the coming days and weeks where you get to know each other will bring happiness. I so admire you being able to love another parakeet without feeling like you're replacing Hobo Jo. I hope I can get to that point someday, I'm just not there yet. Thank you for the kind post on my thread about London, it really touched me. At the time, I was in the throws of heartbreak (still am) and never responded back to your supporting post on there. It's inspiring to see what a positive outcome has come to you after the loss of your sweet Hobo Jo. Wishing you continued peace.
Jamie

You can visit London's memorial at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/LONDO001/Resident.htm
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