Mackysmum Show full post »
Pinkymd
Dear Macky’s Mum,
I lost My miniature pincher Zeppelin, two months ago, to kidney failure. Everything You described You are going through I went through & still am going through but some things not as bad. The crying spells each day have lessened. I’m retired & single so most days I could care less to even get out of bed. Zeppelin at least got Me up in the mornings & got Me moving through out the day into the evenings. Now with Him gone life is just empty. My family members don’t quite understand after 2 months why I don’t feel like getting out & mingling with friends. I just don’t. Going up to the grocery store shopping is dreadful because it means I have to head home to an empty house without Him greeting Me there at the door being happy to see Me coming home. I know it takes for the grieving process because before Him I’ve had other dogs in My life. I just didn’t remember how painful it was back then, until now. So, just know, all of the feelings You are having are normal. Don’t feel there’s something wrong with You, because there isn’t. Some people are just more sensitive than others that’s all.
I look at My videos of Him at night before going to bed & at photos of Him & I have his favorite blankie on My bed. It makes Me cry My happy tears. I talk out loud to Him that it’s time to go to bed now as if He’s in the room with Me & hears Me like I always did when He was alive. It’s weird but it actually works for Me to then turn off the lights & go to sleep.
I think to Myself: I must be going crazy? But then a friend of mine said that dogs spirits/souls can linger here on earth for awhile after they pass away just to make sure that We are ok before they go off to heaven. They wait for a sign from Us to let them know it’s ok to leave to go up to heaven to join the other dogs up there to run free & play & wait for Us one day. So by doing this at night I’m hoping My little buddy knows it’s ok now to go up to heaven to go play & have fun & that I will see Him again one day.
KA
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ScoutsMom
Mackysmum
Thank you for your posts....i share your anguish and grief. I lost my beloved Scout and Banjo 4 weeks ago 3 days apart. It has ripped my soul in two. I am grateful that God provided me some very special understanding friends who have totally been there for me but in this forum I found people who I knew REALLY understood because so many of us share so many similar feelings.
I too felt like I wanted to die, some days I still do. I prayed numerous times for God to let me die so my pain would stop and I could join my babies in heaven. I am fortunate I could take time off work.i haven't been to work since they passed. I too carry a picture of Scout with me wherever I go... in a frame not on my phone. I still haven't washed the clothes I was wearing that night Scout died... I'm not sure if I ever can. I am starting a journal for her and Banjo to help me put down my memories...i am so terrified I will forget. I rarely eat unless I'm with someone. Food makes me feel sick... I've lost 7 lbs.
I too am single and Scout was my first dog that was all mine....i got her at 8 weeks old.
Your grief is real, it's valid, it's necessary..... it will help you heal. I'm convinced we are forever changed when we lose someone we deeply love. You will never be the same because a little part of your heart has died with your beloved Macky..... but your love for him will never die and that is what ultimately can sustain us.
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Mackysmum
Pinkymd wrote:
Dear Macky’s Mum,
I lost My miniature pincher Zeppelin, two months ago, to kidney failure. Everything You described You are going through I went through & still am going through but some things not as bad. The crying spells each day have lessened. I’m retired & single so most days I could care less to even get out of bed. Zeppelin at least got Me up in the mornings & got Me moving through out the day into the evenings. Now with Him gone life is just empty. My family members don’t quite understand after 2 months why I don’t feel like getting out & mingling with friends. I just don’t. Going up to the grocery store shopping is dreadful because it means I have to head home to an empty house without Him greeting Me there at the door being happy to see Me coming home. I know it takes for the grieving process because before Him I’ve had other dogs in My life. I just didn’t remember how painful it was back then, until now. So, just know, all of the feelings You are having are normal. Don’t feel there’s something wrong with You, because there isn’t. Some people are just more sensitive than others that’s all.
I look at My videos of Him at night before going to bed & at photos of Him & I have his favorite blankie on My bed. It makes Me cry My happy tears. I talk out loud to Him that it’s time to go to bed now as if He’s in the room with Me & hears Me like I always did when He was alive. It’s weird but it actually works for Me to then turn off the lights & go to sleep.
I think to Myself: I must be going crazy? But then a friend of mine said that dogs spirits/souls can linger here on earth for awhile after they pass away just to make sure that We are ok before they go off to heaven. They wait for a sign from Us to let them know it’s ok to leave to go up to heaven to join the other dogs up there to run free & play & wait for Us one day. So by doing this at night I’m hoping My little buddy knows it’s ok now to go up to heaven to go play & have fun & that I will see Him again one day.
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Mackysmum
Thank you for your reply
I love how you talk to zeppelin at night i do to and in the morning , i really love how you wrote that they stay with us untill they feel we are ok then they move on to heaven , that's such a nice way to see it thank you .
I'm very sorry you lost your babe it still hasn't fully hit me yet , i haven't fully absorbed hes no more and the thought of him not seeing me for the rest of my life makes me anxious .
I will see him one day to hug him and kiss him and take him for a walk his favorite thing to do , my special boy he was / is
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Mackysmum
ScoutsMom wrote:
Mackysmum
Thank you for your posts....i share your anguish and grief. I lost my beloved Scout and Banjo 4 weeks ago 3 days apart. It has ripped my soul in two. I am grateful that God provided me some very special understanding friends who have totally been there for me but in this forum I found people who I knew REALLY understood because so many of us share so many similar feelings.
I too felt like I wanted to die, some days I still do. I prayed numerous times for God to let me die so my pain would stop and I could join my babies in heaven. I am fortunate I could take time off work.i haven't been to work since they passed. I too carry a picture of Scout with me wherever I go... in a frame not on my phone. I still haven't washed the clothes I was wearing that night Scout died... I'm not sure if I ever can. I am starting a journal for her and Banjo to help me put down my memories...i am so terrified I will forget. I rarely eat unless I'm with someone. Food makes me feel sick... I've lost 7 lbs.
I too am single and Scout was my first dog that was all mine....i got her at 8 weeks old.
Your grief is real, it's valid, it's necessary..... it will help you heal. I'm convinced we are forever changed when we lose someone we deeply love. You will never be the same because a little part of your heart has died with your beloved Macky..... but your love for him will never die and that is what ultimately can sustain us.
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Mackysmum
Hi scoutsmom
I'm so sorry you lost both your fur babies thats so terrible , i really feel for you thats heartbreaking not one but two .
It's good you got time off work , to process it all
I've keept mackys collar and lead , bed and toys plus a lock of his fur , i smell his fur everyday it smells like him its really nice .
I to stress ill forget macky , my memories terrible also , i have so many photos and videos so I'm sure I'll always remember .
My appetite is better , the first 4 days i ate next to nothing, I'm eating now but half to what I normally eat so I've lost weight myself.
I think your right we will not get OVER IT but it will.not hurt as much " hoping " and I don't want to get over it as my boy was better then me just getting over it, i think you would agree
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