Hi everyone. I am so glad to find this place and so sad that so many would need it. My 21 year old Russian Blue Peepers died Thursday evening and we found him near my husband's truck the next morning. I knew when he was leaving because I was putting my 6 year old twins to bed and suddenly got this huge urge to go find him, but my husband decided right then that the bathroom sink HAD to be unstopped that minute so I had to put them to bed first. I went out when they were down and looked all over, but by then it was dark..sigh. Hubby found him the next morning.
He was there with me through depression, misery, therapy, loneliness, and slept on my hip before I met my dh. He was indoors before we moved here 6 years ago, but he wanted out so we let him and he seemed happier. The girls are so sad but they dont' have the history I do with him...21 years. My 30 year old son is sad too, and my husband is okay for a bit and then cries...I am just so sad and I wish I had held him one more time and been there with him when he went. I wish i didn't have horrible allergies and could have held him more while he lived outside...I wish so many things. I told him a week or two ago that I knew he was getting tired, and that although we would miss him I would understand when ti was time. I didn't expect it to be then though, and I just would have held him one more time.
I held him and talked to him, and sent him Reiki the whole time hubby was digging a nice place to rest, but of course it wasn't the same and I miss his fur, his loud yowl, him sitting in the sun outside, seeing him walk up and being there when I drove up, when I gardened, when I walked outside, feeding him, talking to him...everything. I can't cry all the time because my kids are dealing with this and I need to be there for them and work and so forth..sigh. I feel as if my heart is being ripped out...literally breaking. I appreciate a place to talk about this and see from what I have read that you understand. He was such a part of my life for all those years and my friend, my baby boy, and so much more. I am just so sad...so sad. I want everyone to leave me be and I can't becaue I have so much to do. We buried him Friday and let the girls help, and they go talk to him and miss him too. Poor hubby too...I swear I caught a glimpse of Peepers coming up the walk right after we buried him but haven't see him since. Thanks for listening, and I am sorry for the pain I know all of you have suffered as well.