ram
Hi everyone.  I am so glad to find this place and so sad that so many would need it.  My 21 year old Russian Blue Peepers died Thursday evening and we found him near my husband's truck the next morning.  I knew when he was leaving because I was putting my 6 year old twins to bed and suddenly got this huge urge to go find him, but my husband decided right then that the bathroom sink HAD to be unstopped that minute so I had to put them to bed first.  I went out when they were down and looked all over, but by then it was dark..sigh.  Hubby found him the next morning.

He was there with me through depression, misery, therapy, loneliness, and slept on my hip before I met my dh.  He was indoors before we moved here 6 years ago, but he wanted out so we let him and he seemed happier.  The girls are so sad but they dont' have the history I do with him...21 years.  My 30 year old son is sad too, and my husband is okay for a bit and then cries...I am just so sad and I wish I had held him one more time and been there with him when he went.  I wish i didn't have horrible allergies and could have held him more while he lived outside...I wish so many things.  I told him a week or two ago that I knew he was getting tired, and that although we would miss him I would understand when ti was time.  I didn't expect it to be then though, and I just would have held him one more time.

I held him and talked to him, and sent him Reiki the whole time hubby was digging a nice place to rest, but of course it wasn't the same and I miss his fur, his loud yowl, him sitting in the sun outside, seeing him walk up and being there when I drove up, when I gardened, when I walked outside, feeding him, talking to him...everything.  I can't cry all the time because my kids are dealing with this and I need to be there for them and work and so forth..sigh.  I feel as if my heart is being ripped out...literally breaking.  I appreciate a place to talk about this and see from what I have read that you understand.  He was such a part of my life for all those years and my friend, my baby boy, and so much more.  I am just so sad...so sad.  I want everyone to leave me be and I can't becaue I have so much to do.  We buried him Friday and let the girls help, and they go talk to him and miss him too.  Poor hubby too...I swear I caught a glimpse of Peepers coming up the walk right after we buried him but haven't see him since.  Thanks for listening, and I am sorry for the pain I know all of you have suffered as well.
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always_tuffy
Dear ram,

I am sorry you have lost your family's longtime friend Peepers.  Your words tell he was a wonderful and loving companion.

I am glad you found us here a RBBridge.  Lean on us for support you need.  We all travel the same road, all make the same journey.  In different ways, but basically the same.

With Sympathy for you and your family,
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal;
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Tuffy, My Puppy Love
June 20, 2005-July 26, 2010

Becky Leigh, Queen of my Heart
December 2010-November 10, 2015
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nicokudo
ram,

I am so sorry to hear about your precious Peepers.  So many things you said in your message made me smile and tears form in my eyes.  Your baby was growing old and tired and you basically told him that if he needed to leave that you would understand and bless his next journey.  He had travelled many years in sync with you and now knew that you would be fine and he could go on with his personal journey.  You didn't know at the time that you were in fact saying good-bye.  We always want to hold them one more time, but in the hour of grieving their loss, we forget the hundreds/thousands of times that we did hold them.  We just never want the last time to really be the last one.

The picture of you seeing Peepers coming up the walk after your husband buried him.  That DID happen.  I saw my Kudo about 6 times after he died and when I finally accepted that it was him, that I wasn't crazy, I stopped seeing him.  I think he knew that I now believed that he was still with me and he didn't have to expend the energy to convince me anymore.

You already know that you have lost something precious; a 21 year old bond is something that can't be denied.  All of us here completely understand the sadness, loneliness and desperation that you feel now.  Losing Peeper's physical presence is a tremendous loss.  One day you will come to realize that your precious boy is still with you and will remain in your heart until the day that you leave on the same journey that your baby took a few days ago.

So much love in your message.  Peepers knows and loves you too.

Karen





Karen,Kudo and Nico's mom
Earth mom to Marco and Bella
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TootiesGuardian
Ram,

I'm so sorry for you.  I feel so bad for what you're going through.  I know how sad you're feeling and I'm so sorry you're having to endure this grief.  Peepers had a long and great life with you.  He was lucky to have had you.  I know that doesn't make it any easier with his being gone. 

It sure is hard to have to deal with daily activities and keep yourself together when all you want to do is cry.  I know too well what you mean.  My kids are 5 and 7.  It hasn't been a month yet since I lost my beloved cat Tootie. 

I had a Russian Blue named Blueboy that passed away 17 years ago.  He was my first beloved cat.  I miss him too very much.  He was loud and noisy as you described Peepers.  What a great cat.  It sounds like your Peepers was too.

I wholeheartedly believe you saw Peepers right after you buried him.  I've had several visits and signs from my girl Tootie.  It's a very real and positive occurrence. 

Sincerely,

Sherry
Tootie ~ Sep. 1, 2000 - Sep. 4, 2010
Shine on you beautiful diamond!
Blueboy ~ Feb. 14, 1989 - Dec. 31, 1993
Always in my heart!
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