We lost our dog of 13.5 years to lymphoma yesterday, and I really thought that I was better prepared for the pain. I knew it was coming, I made the decision when the time was obvious, and I know that it was the best thing I could do for him. But I really wasn't prepared for how I feel. The house is so quiet and empty. Our routine is thrown off. I keep looking for him. I knew it was going to break my heart, but this is just so much more than what I tried to prepare for.

From reading the other posts here, I can see that I'm not alone and I hope to gain a little comfort from knowing that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
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Hi Goferrisgo
You are not alone. I lost my 4 year old pom 4 days ago. And it was the hardest day of my life. You are much luckier than me because you had your dog until he's 13yrs old. I feel so much pain rght now. I still can't believe it and I can't accept it. I cry all day since she left me and I feel too much sadness. I don't want to forget about her just so I can move on. The house is eerily quiet without her, the hardest part of my day is waking up and eating without her by my side. I can't get used to this. I just miss her and wish i can touch and kiss her again. You are not alone.
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Hi Nancy,

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your precious loved one. As prepared as we may think we are, when the moment comes, it still shatters our hearts, as you mention, our routine is thrown off, the house is quiet and so empty, we are never prepared for such feelings.

The first days, weeks and months are the hardest, Grieving has no time limit, so no need to rush or push yourself, baby steps is all we can expect at this time Nancy, but each little step is a huge accomplishment.

In time, I hope the wonderful and loving memories of your precious boy will help mend your broken heart. If you feel up to it, please share more about your loved one, I would enjoy hearing about him.
Sending positive healing thoughts your way.

Sincerely, Don & Vera

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Dear Goferrisgo and Juls,

The pain seems just unbearable doesn't it. I lost my boy Spike over 6 months ago and I was completely crushed. Never felt that way in my life. Even when my sister died 2 years ago it wasn't any where near so painful.
We're so used to them simply being there and happy to see us no matter what.
I'm so sorry you have lost your precious fur babies. I can only reassure you that it does get easier but it does take time.
Sending a virtual hug.

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Thank you all for your replies. We have been telling stories about Harley, and then we cry. We cleaned up the house, and then we cried some more. We miss his goofy houndy face and his "frito feet." My poor husband doesn't know what to do with himself...I tell him that it's ok to cry and think about our wonderful dog. I'm still talking to Harley, telling him that he can stay as long as he likes and that he can watch over us, which I'm sure sounds absurd. My dad made me a memory chest for his ashes and his things, and I'm hoping when that is all together there will be more closure. I go back to work tomorrow and I'm so glad I work with a small crew who know about him.
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So sorry about Harley. No matter how it happens, unexpected or expected it is still sooo painful.  I thought I was prepared as well for Shelby's passing last Monday night.  I was so wrong.  She was/is so imbedded in my heart, I am still not sure how I am going to get through this. I am sitting on the floor right now, close to where she always was.  Her beautiful kind and sweet face. I know she is so happy right now and is home.  
I talk to her all the time, and will continue to do so. I will also continue to come to the grief forum, it is a safe place to speak about your grief.
Many Blessings,
Shelby's Mommy Deborah

Shelby-You are good girl, a smart girl, a pretty girl.
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So very sorry for your loss. I also lost my Emma to lymphoma almost 3 months ago.

It is definitely a rollercoaster of emotions, as we prepare to continue with a life that will never be the same again. My heart is COMPLETELY broken, and I am a grown 43 yr old man. But everyday, we continue and we get stronger.


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So sorry for your loss. The thoughts expressed here echo my feelings exactly - I hope the pain gets better with time. I tried to make a special corner in my house where I have my Bella's pictures and favorite toys - I go and spend quiet time contemplating her beautiful spirit there. Sometimes it helps - hope you find a comfort and healing.
Marina landa
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I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my beloved boy Banks to lymphoma almost a month ago and I'm still struggling to grasp my life without him in it :(
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I'm so sorry for your loss. No matter how old they are, no matter whether we know the end is coming or not, the loss of a beloved pet hurts. I hope that, in time, thinking of your sweet pup will make you smile.
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Well, I made all the calls I needed to this morning. Called the kennel to cancel the upcoming board, the other vet to cancel an appointment, and the pet cemetery to make arrangements. The woman at the kennel started to cry and said "We loved that dog!" It's funny...he endeared himself to so many people. Saying it three times today was not easy. My house was so quiet this morning!
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I lost my Molly to lymphoma several years ago.  Molly was very special to me, she was a beautiful german shepherd.  Her story is very sad and I felt the dog never caught a break.

I got Molly in an unusual way, my daughter at the time was dating a man that had a roommate that had Molly, he kept her crated for 18 months.  He didn't want her but kept her just so his x wife couldn't have her.  This jerk would go away for weekends and leave the dog crated with no food or water.  Luckily my daughter's boyfriend would buy her food and care for her when her owner was away.

So one day the boyfriend invited my daughter to his house, when she saw Molly and the condition she was in she was in a rage, she told the owner she was going to report him for animal abuse ect.  He unlocked the cage and said to her "take the damn dog or I'll shoot her".  So of course she brought the dog to me.  I had another shepherd at the time but I couldn't turn her away.  She was not and never would be a "normal" shepherd.  She didn't even know how to bark.  Course my other shepherd (another female) was not happy having her here but oh well, get over it.  

I think I was the only person that ever showed this dog and love and she quickly bonded so tightly to me I couldn't be out of her sight.  At first she was terrified of me, all she knew was the crate so I set up a crate for her and left the door open for her to go in and out, first couple of days if I spoke to her she hide in the crate, I ignored her, then she started peeking out to see what I was doing, within about ten days the crate was put away and I had a new shadow.  I took her to the vet, she had lyme disease, her nails were so long she could hardly walk, I got her toys and taught her to play and eventually her and my other one would run through the woods together having a great time.  

Five years later I took her to the vet for just a regular checkup and found out she had lymphoma.  I brought her home and cared for her, knowing it was only a matter of time, I promised her that my face would be the last thing she saw.  Five weeks later, I got up and found her all bloated up and having a hard time to breathe, I knew this would be her last car ride.  But I kept my promise to her, she died in my arms.

I've had shepherds for many years but Molly for whatever reason was extra special to me.  She was so grateful for any little kindness shown her and she never did anything wrong, I think she was always afraid of getting in trouble, which never happened with me, but who knows how much she'd been abused in her younger life.

She never caught a break, all her life she was at the mercy of someone else and died the same way.  But even though our time was short I still have my memories of her and think of her often.

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"
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