Gmr
Next week will be 4 mths since I lost my Peanut. I know the only way I got this far was with prayers and God's help. May will be a year ago that I sold my house and moved to an apt since retiring. I live alone and have noone to talk to about my loss. My baby loved it here but only made it 6 mths living here. It makes me mad that she couldn't enjoy it here and enjoy me being retired longer. I seem to be in the stage now where I have accepted she's gone and that I did what was best for her by putting her down. But I feel mad at times. The crying is now sporadic and at the oddest times. Since losing Peanut I always feel tense or anxious. Every muscle in my body hurts every day. I have depression and anxiety which I've been treated for for years and never realized how much my baby helped me with that. If I need to go out to the store it takes so much effort just to get myself dressed and to the car. Then when I'm out I just want to get home. But she's not there to greet me at the door and get excited. I used to enjoy going to bed but now I put it off as long as I can because my baby won't be there next to me. I've had my cat to lean on and I've been there for her too but it's just not the same with cats. They like to do there own thing. I sit and think about how I know one day in the future I would like another baby to love but then I don't know if I would be able to handle starting over again. With Spring around the corner everytime I look out the window I see all the places Peanut and I would walk. I remember how she loved that. I just feel sad all the time. Why did this have to happen now. When I read the posts on here I realize how much worse some have had it at the end with there babies. Tonight has been one of those nights. Tears coming down, sad and mad. I miss her so much and still sometimes can't believe she's gone. I feel a longing tonight to hold her, kiss her and pet her. I pray for some peace and strength. If she would only visit me in a dream and show me she's happy and healthy that would help me so much. But I'm still waiting. Those final 6 mths with my baby I cared for her like a hospice pt. I held her when she had seizures ..I carried her up and down the stairs because of her heart...I kept her warm and cozy and stayed by her side in case she needed anything. And I would do it all over again forever if I needed to. I love you Peanut and miss you terribly.
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Laylabug
I would do it all over again too. I lost my girl a month ago. I'm still trying to adjust to my new reality. I feel no joy and have nothing to look forward to. I miss her so much. So sorry for your loss.
Kathy Hamblin
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Laylabug
I would do it all over again too. I lost my girl a month ago. I'm still trying to adjust to my new reality. I feel no joy and have nothing to look forward to. I miss her so much. So sorry for your loss.
Kathy Hamblin
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