Well. Not sure how to even start this comment. If I can pin one thing down in my scrambled emotions is that right now I'm hurting pretty good. My sweet sweet boy Jackson had a change in behavior a little bit before Christmas time. He's an almost 8 year old Lab mix rescue that I've had since he was about 6 months old. He was always very active and fit and I could tell something was really wrong. He didn't want to play ball and his diet changed. So, I took him to the vets and after examination it was identified as kidney failure. The Vet recommended euthanasia and my heart shattered and I havent been able to stop crying since. That was on Thursday. The vet gave me the weekend to decide. And just so incredibly proud to have had such and amazing loyal friend who was so well behaved he was rarely leashed. My 2 year old daughter (my first) absolutely loves him and this news is devistating. He really is having trouble eating and energy is super low so I don't want him to suffer. I also don't want to feel like I let him down by euthanizing him either because his soul is still young and something's he does still shows me he's not ready. But his body is breaking down due to the kidney failure. This dog has made almost every trip with me I have gone on since I got him. I got him him 3 months before I met my wife. He was there before I built our home and living In the parents pool house during construction and before my daughter. So many of my friends say he is the best behaved dog they have ever met and always compliment me on his behavior. I always disagree though. Jackson is a sweet soul. He blessed my life in so many ways and I wish there was a way he could understand that. Maybe I came to this post so that I could spill my heart about losing my best friend but maybe I'm just hoping someone knows how I feel because I feel alone. Well I think I'm really just scared. My family, especially me is going to miss this guy. Thank you anyone for listening
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I’m sorry to hear about your handsome sweet boy. It sounds like Jackson is trying to tell you it is his time. He wouldn’t want you to feel guilty for doing what needs done. He doesn’t want to suffer, and you don’t want to see him suffer once it gets bad. You didn’t let him down. You noticed a change in his behavior and took him to the vet to be examined. You did exactly what you should have done. I hope your little girl doesn’t take the news too hard. I’m not sure how much children that young understand, but I’m sure she will miss him.
Take care
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So sorry that you and Jackson are going through this. Rest assured you are not alone as I had 16.5 years with my bff, for all the good and bad times she was there and never judged (but could throw some dirty looks when she wasn't happy) In the past 5 months I have struggled to adjust to life after her as she was truly my bff. I tell myself that she was "normal",(eating, weight, behavior) ignoring the horrendous bloody noses that were most definitely not normal. (terminal bone/lung cancer). I find that when I had to make the decision for her....I didn't put her down, I didn't euthanize her, I didn't put her to sleep.....I let her go, and find some comfort in the idea that they hold out until we are ready to let them go whether we think we are or not. I recently came across another idea that we take on their pain and suffering in the form of loss/grief so that they are free from it. I dunno if this is making sense or is somehow helpful, the dang thing is there is no rulebook or guidelines to follow which seems to make it uncharted territory for most ppl. Whatever you decide for him, make sure his last days are the best ever and show him what a good boy he is and how much he is loved as it will be good for both of you in saying goodbye.

angelpie.jpg Cancer is a big fat Doodie Head!
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It is so hard to imagine your life without such a devoted companion like your Jackson. I also had to make that heartbreaking decision in 2018 when my devoted pup was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Being an active, happy dog I had no idea she was even I'll until just weeks before her diagnosis and our heartbreaking decision to end her suffering. I understand completely your pain and heartbreak as you make your difficult decision for Jackson. We are all here to help and listen as you navigate through this diffucult time.

I wish you strength and peace,
Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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