Hello, This is my first time using this forum, but I need a little support. I had two littermates - black kitties named Bodi and Xeno - for 14 years. A little over a month ago, we had to say goodbye to Xeno, my heart-cat. He battled cancer for 8 months before dying. Since then, Bodi has gone QUICKLY and steadily downhill. He won't eat or drink on his own, and he's recently gone blind. We've already taken him to the vet and even had him in emergency vet overnight almost two weeks ago - turns out he has liver failure - but then we took him home. We've been giving him water via a dropper, and we had been force-feeding him baby food until yesterday. We were giving him an appetite stimulant, but that seemed to make him pretty uncomfortable. We think he is wanting to go ahead and die, but my heart is completely broken.

Also, I'm struggling with the decision of when to euthanize. He doesn't seem to have any quality of life, but he also doesn't seem to be in pain, but it's hard to tell with cats. He just lies on the couch all day. The last couple of days he seems to feel a little worse - he's nauseated and very weak. He can't get to his litter box on his own, but he isn't going to the bathroom much. In fact, he hasn't pooped in a week and a half, and he just pees a small amount each day. He gets upset when my husband and I leave for very long - even just to another room - and we've been lucky that my husband has been off of work for a couple of months and able to be there with him all day. But starting this coming Monday, he goes back to work, and I have to go out of town for work for 3 days. My husband works in the film industry, so he works 15-16 hour days far from home so he can't run home and check on him. I have a friend that can come check in on him if he's still alive, but I just don't know if we are making the right decision by letting him live out these last days/weeks, and I don't know how long it will take. 

Also, I'm just really grieving this. I am still grieving Xeno, and it's breaking my heart that we are also losing Bodi. I just don't know what to do about the way that I am feeling. I have a lot of responsibility at work, but it's nearly impossible to concentrate on it. Any advice on what to do? Thank you even for reading/listening. My husband has been amazing, but I haven't been able to talk much about it with anyone else. Pet loss feels lonely, and sometimes people are even less understanding when it's "just a cat." 

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I’m so sorry that you are going through this. You’ve given these kitties a wonderful life. Only you can decide when it’s time to let Brodi go to the rainbow bridge. When that time does come, try to find comfort in knowing they will be together again. I just lost my dog and the pain is very real and deep. They are our family. They make up so much our daily routines. Post on here as much as you need to. Listening to others stories and offering support has been helping me through my grief
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nxt jen, I do not want to seem rough, and you have my sympathy. But I think you know what you have to do. If you need support to move ahead with euthanasia, this forum will give it to you;, just keep posting. 

If you're still not sure, please re-read what you posted about what your kitty is going through, but pretend somebody else wrote it. 

I think once you do that, I believe there will be no doubt in your mind what you need to do for Bodi. Your kitty will thank you for it. 

You have all my best wishes. 
B Weinstein
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My advice to you is to talk thoroughly with your vet about it, whether it’s in person or over the phone. They can help you to know your options and quality of life best. They can take some of the pressure of the decision off of you. It’s good not to rush into a decision at the vet office, but to have a moment to think over what you talked about. You can even go without your cat if you feel that will help.

If possible, try to take some time for yourself to collect yourself as much as possible, even if it’s just a bit of time someplace where you feel you can relax and think— a coffee shop, a park, a walk around the block, wherever feels good to you where you can have a break to get away from the stress. Even if it is time, this is not a decision you will want to make when you’re emotionally distraught.

I am sorry you are going through this. It is not an easy position to be in. But for sure you will want to feel you made this decision with as clear a head as possible, which is hard to have when in this boat.
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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Thank you very much for your responses and for your support. It's just so nice to have other people to reach out to about this. I know we DO need to euthanize - I just haven't been sure when. With Xeno, it was so obvious when the time was right, and even then, I know we probably waited longer than most people would. With Bodi, it's been a little different. But we do have a wonderful hospice vet who has helped us a lot, so I am going to reach out to him today and let him know that Bodi seems ready to us. 

I think mainly what I was looking for on this forum was some virtual "hugs" since it's not something I can really talk about at work or with many people I see on a daily basis. And it's just so sad!!! I lost my father to cancer when I was younger, and that was completely awful, but dealing with everything with Xeno and Bodi has almost been worse in some ways, which feels terrible to say because I adored my father and have grieved that loss for years. But the intensity of the immediate grief is as bad as that was, although maybe it won't last as long. 

Anyway, I sure do appreciate your words - it means a lot! And my sympathy goes out to you for your losses as well. 
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I am sorry for your loss of Xeno and now for the health concerns you are having for your Bodi.

I have lost 3 pets in a 22 month period so i do know the feelings of grieving, then feeling ok, then losing another pet, etc.

You will know when it is time, your Bodi will let you know. What you are about to do will be selfless and you have to think of your Bodi and if his quality of life is worth living or is he in pain? you have to be the guardian and caretaker and this is never ever easy.

My heart goes out to you at this time and please know you are not alone and i wish you all the strength and support for all you are going thru with your sweet Bodi

(((hugs from Cam)))


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